The only problem in our relationship is Stepson. Now my boyfriend has a daughter too, but she has a mother. That takes some pressure off of me, where I feel like I can be more of a maternal yet friend role to her (she is 15) and she has BAD behavior, but I still see a loving heart in her.

His son is 9.5 years old and I don't see a loving heart in him. He basically all day long, does everything he can to tick people off on purpose. You tell him to stop doing something, he argues for 5 minutes about it, then goes into screaming/crying (it's not normal crying, it's more loud and like an infant would do) and many times will go and "tell on me" to his dad. Everything is a fight with him, if you say, "look at me" because you want to maybe talk to him instead of punish, he will close his eyes, refuse to lift his head...etc. If you want him to pick something up, he will act like his arms are broke, or crawl as slow as he can to pick it up just to be defiant. He is ADHD but we suspect maybe bipolar too. I have begged bf to get his son help before I even moved in, and he continues to make excuses. He really wants to stay ignorant I think, so he doesn't have to be faced with his son's problems. He would rather bury his head in the sand.

There are times when he spends so much time in his room because he is manic, basically just screaming, crying, and overly emotional. He steals constantly. I have to sweep thru his room weekly to look for stolen items. It happens so much, his dad doesn't even discipline anymore for it. He constantly tries to start drama between people. Like for instance, one day he noticed some drawings of my daughters in the garbage can, so he told my daughter. My daughter ignored him, so he went upstairs and got the garbage can pretending to empty it because it "smelled" but took her drawings out and laid them where she would see. The thing is they weren't drawings, they came from a coloring book, and she didn't care. And that type of thing happens all the time. He knew my daughter was having a hard time sharing me so he would hug me in front of her and look right at her like hahaha.

He manipulates, lies constantly. Like makes up crazy stuff. He engages in risky behaviors because he lacks impulse control. He can't think things thru. He is practically failing school (has not done one homework assignment all year) and they put him in special ed. All day long all you hear is his screaming and crying. My kids are embarrassed to have friends over. If friends are over, he acts even worse trying to make sure he gets all attention at all times. He has lewd language and just speaks horribly and rude to everyone. He always thinks everyone is getting something and he is not. My daughter was just watching a commercial on t.v for a toy, she never even asked for it and he hatefully looked at her and said "you are not getting that". If we all go shopping as a family he begs for things to bought for him the whole time. He cries if anything is bought for someone else (even if it's something like the person is out of deodorant and we are just buying them that).

And to top it off, I feel like bf uses me for free babysitting of this kid. The mom is not in the picture at all. Not even in the same state. So we are at a standstill in our relationship because I want to work, but he refuses to put his son in daycare. He says to put a 9 year old in daycare is "sick"? And that he is too old for it. But honestly his son maybe 9, but emotionally, socially, mentally is more like a 4-5 year old. I wouldn't make much money after paying for any babysitting/daycare for him. I feel like it holds me back from working. My kids are well behaved and trustworthy and I would have no problem leaving them at home while I worked. I have 2 teenagers and preteen and a toddler and they would have no problem watching her. But his son, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him in this home with my children, I would be afraid he would burn the house down.

I never feel like I get a break. My kids' dad gets them every other weekend where i could be relaxing and enjoying life. But we always have his son. We try to do stuff on the weekends and we seriously can't even have a conversation, he son interrupts us, whines, cries and acts out. I was hoping as he got older things would improve, but instead it just keeps getting worse.

I don't mind having stepkids, I'm fine with it. But his behavior is so bad, my stomach just feels with knots thinking about watching him this summer. We even had issues just me driving him to school, (a 5 min car ride) he couldn't behave himself and his dad had to ride in the car with me for a couple of weeks to try and keep him in control. There is just nothing redeemable about this kid. I wish there was, I really do.