12 yr old stepson drew picture of he and I having sex
His parents split time and he has lived with us (half the time) since he was 1 ½. His father and I have a 9 year old daughter together. My SS has an IQ in the low 70’s. At 7 he had held a little girl down (in public view) and told her to take her clothes off. When he was 10 ½ his mother found him in bed (at her house)with my sports bra around his pillow. This matter was calmly discussed with SS. A week later he had taken another bra of mine. We discussed again and my husband told him to knock it off that you can’t go and take peoples private things. The next day he took my underwear from the dirty clothes (we keep in our closet). When asked why he said it turned him on. A few months ago we discovered he had been downloading and watching porn on the phone his mother got him. He had withdrawn from everything and only cared about that phone. One of the searches that he made was “mom and son having sex”. He lost his phone for a week. As soon as he got it back he was watching porn again. He called his mom and put on an academy award performance of how a kid (didn’t know his name) at school took his phone at lunch. He was wailing and sobbing and swearing on everything it was true. I said I will meet you at lunch tomorrow and you point him out. His mother called principal next morning to report that he was being bullied and some kid took his phone. SS was called to principal office and named the kid that did it and pointed out his photo. Turned out the kid wasn’t even in the lunch room that day. It was all an elaborate lie. After losing his phone for the second time I reminded him not to go in my niece’s room (she is in Army now) or anyone elses. Well a few days later he went in her room (I marked the door so I would know). He lied and put on a big performance again. So now he has drawn an unbelievably obscene pic of me and him having sex. He wrote our names “blank and blank having sex”. On the next page he had drawn he and his teacher. No missionary positions here. He was creative. I don’t think this is normal behavior to fantasize about a stepmom that has always been in your life and it could not have been any more graphic. The parents mentioned about getting him to a counselor, but they have done nothing. I am afraid of him. Sometimes the looks he has makes my hair stand on end. I am terrified of what he may do to my daughter. My husband doesn’t seem concerned at all. He told 5 guys at work about the pictures and they told him it was normal. Huh? My husband works 3rd trick half the time and my daughter and I are alone with SS. I have a terrible pit in my stomach all the time and am full of anxiety. SS never takes any responsibility and has excuses for everything. He doesn’t take care of his hygiene (wiping after pooing, has wiped poo on walls and smells). He is very social, but also gets picked on. He totally understands right and wrong, but has trouble with reality. He never thinks about consequences. He draws stories all the time that are fantasy type but they all have stabbings and are bloody. He also drew a picture of the school before and after he had blown it up with a tank. I had been molested by my brother and am scared for my daughter. My husband doesn’t seem concerned at all. When I told him I didn’t know how I would ever get over this, he told me I was gonna have to. End of story.
>>>THIS<<<< I was going to
>>>THIS<<<<
I was going to say the same thing. GET OUT or GET THE KID OUT!
Of course, I'm assuming this is real. I tend to take these kinds of sensational stories from folks who have been a member for 2 hours with a grain of salt after we were all crewed.
This is going to be a huge
This is going to be a huge blowout with my husband. I have to protect my girl though. I just don't understand how he doesn't see his son as a threat to us. I wonder like at what point would HE say that an incident was enough and finally deal. I told him I was afraid his son was going to butcher us with a kitchen knife and he said well there's nothing we can do about it. WTF It's just like when ss was little and both parents were in denial he had a cognitive issue and I had to take the initiative. Now this is my problem again.
Boy what a caring husband
Boy what a caring husband (/sarcasm)
You need to put your foot down and exert any little bit of control that you have over this man to ensure that he realizes what a messed up kid he has. He should at LEAST have some sympathy for your feelings considering you were a victim yourself!
Excuse me for sounding
Excuse me for sounding alarmist or rude in anyway.... but when your SS rapes you or your DD are you or she just "going to have to get over" that too? How is your husband not concerned about your safety? About his daughter's safety?
There is no way I'd be living with this kid and no way I'd let my DD around him. I'd be telling my H I wasn't going to just get over it because the kid needs help and my DD and I need to be safe and he can just get over that. Document Everything, including Dad's lack of response and willingness to get this kid treated. If you split from him, you need to make damn sure that any divorce decree and custody agreement says that your daughter is not to be around this boy ever since dad obviously doesn't give a crap that he's raising a violent sexual predator.
I SO hope this isn't
I SO hope this isn't real.
But if it is - you need to take your daughter and get the fuck outta this situation. If your husband isn't doing anything about this horrific behavior, you need to leave.
I wouldn't spend one minute in the same house with this kid, especially alone. Please, find a way to either get the kid out or you find another place to live.
If this is true, tell your
If this is true, tell your husband HE needs to get over the fact the kid is not allowed in your home or near your daughter. I can see 10yrs from now the news and the following: "the father of the offender states his son is innocent, he's always been just a normal child". "The stepmother has stated she saw some signs but didn't think he was really capable of acting on his words". Get OUT! Or tell your DH the kid is no longer welcome until he undergoes intense psychiatric evaluations and treatment, if ever!
I agree with everything
I agree with everything everyone has already said. I feel for you. Please do what you need to do to keep yourself and your daughter safe. This boy has serious issues and needs immediate help.
I sure HOPE it is a crew. I
I sure HOPE it is a crew. I can't imagine if it isn't. Poor woman.
Yes I just signed up here
Yes I just signed up here because I need advice. I greatly appreciate everyones comments. This is a very difficult situation and I plan on sharing these comments with my husband so maybe he will see that this situation needs to change and I'm not the only one that sees it this way. We have had a great life up until this crap started. I was happy that the night the drawings were found that he had BM pick up SS and he did talk to his son about it. I was crying and shaking and I wish he would have tried to comfort me. When I asked him if he understood why I was so upset he said yes and no. I don't want to ruin my life with my husband and daughter. I just wish that he would pick his son up on certain days to visit and spend time together. Quality time. His son only wants to be with BM anyway.
I feel for you, really I do.
I feel for you, really I do. But if this were me, there's no way in Hell I'd spend another minute with this kid in the house. Especially around my daughter.
I'd put my foot down with DH now and say "either he goes or my girl and I do, but I refuse to allow that child in my house again". And follow through. Don't make empty threats. Either kick the kid to his mom's and dad visits away from home or it's over.
Yes thank you. I agree
Yes thank you. I agree totally. I can't live like this. It's already affecting my health because I have no peace and in constant state of worry. my main priority is to protect my kids.... even if that means protecting one from the other. like the end of the movie The Good Son. sometimes you have to pick and my choice is easy.
Good luck. I'm not being
Good luck. I'm not being nasty or harsh, but the truth of this is that you have to protect your daughter and yourself even if that costs you the marriage.
I know he needs therapy. It
I know he needs therapy. It saddens me but doesn't surprise me that nothing is being done.
This kid needs more than
This kid needs more than therapy honey. He's sick. Truly sick. He may need meds, institutionalized, whatever, but he needs more than just a counseling appt every other week.
Honestly, are you going to just wait for him to hurt you or your daughter before you put your foot down?
Fake
Fake
The direct positive action
The direct positive action approach is to take everything you have and go to the CPS and/or Court to get a Protective Order keeping SS away from you and your daughter. That pretty much separates him from your home and minimizes the risk to you and your daughter.
12 seems early for this level of sexualized behavior. Since you are in the sitaution I suggest you go with your gut insinct and do what you have to do to protect yourself and your daughter.
This kid needs help and appropriate consequences for his behaviors. Taking his phone for a week is a joke IMHO. He knows it and it had no impact on his behavior. Taking a hammer to his phone and returning it to him in a ziplock bag is a much more pointed message. He should not get a replacement other than a telephone with only basic dialing capability. As for an IQ of 70. For his age, his abilities appear to be notably more capable than an IQ of 70 would indicate. In my layman's opinion of coure.
Counseling should definately be approached and soon.
Had my brothers or I done this kind of crap the counseling would have been swift, effective and involved a trip to the "wood shed" for a session with the razor strap. Corporal punishment would be a strong consideration for dealing with this if I were your DH.
Good lucik.