You are here

Mothers day- how can I do sth with my own kids only??????advice please

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 5:30pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

I want to spend a part of mothers day with only my kids, but this will not go well with SO.SD8 will after all go to her mother in the late arvo, but I want to do something only with my three kids in the morning.
SD is so spoiled and gets on my nerves badly and I don't want to pretend she is mine on mothers day.
SO will be mad at me saying I want to exclude her, and he is right, but she has a mother!!!She is the main reason for me feeling so tense and stressed in my own house.This one day I want to relax with my crew.I am selfish and evil for wanting that.SO and I anyway have problems about the whole blending s....t.I find it so bad that he treats his single child so special and she gets showered with so much attention that she believes she is a princess with adult status.She wants something every 3 minutes and speaks to Daddddy- Dadddddy with that loud babyvoice !!!He became better with her, but still has no balls and I am loosing patience, although I still love him.I don't know what to do.Help please:(

Redsonya's picture

Submitted by Redsonya on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 6:20pm

I agree with oldone - I hate this shit. BM and DH are parenting togetherrrrrr..... and your presence is only necessary when there are messes to clean up, your money to be spent, your babysitting required, or BM isn't interested in parenting at the moment, but you must include them in anything special that you have with your kids. I call bullshit. If you aren't the bio parent and don't have one of those rare situations where you are treated and respected like a parent in the kids life, then hell no, you don't have to have mother's day breakfast with the kid. When you don't get mother's day presents in the future from his child, he will remind you that you aren't her mom.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 12:33am

Red, she may give me a present, which makes it all worse.I don't want it, but of course must gracefully accept it :sick:

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 6:24pm

Celebrate Mothers Day the way you want to. It's your day.
Then celebrate Fathers Day because you seem to have more balls than your DH Wink

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 10:00am

^^^THIS! Couldn't have said it better myself!

It's YOUR day to be with YOUR kids. Period. Dot.

20 plus's picture

Submitted by 20 plus on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 6:49pm

Plan something to do she hates. She won't want to go. Then go do what you want with your kids. Why should SD be lavished?

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 12:34am

ummmmm, yesssss, must think hard Smile something where she would be getting zero attention !Since she can't stand that.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 7:18pm

Every mothers day weekend the BM's to my 3 skids try and send their kids to my house. We have no visitation schedule at all, the kids come when their mothers say which works out to roughly every second weekend, sometimes 3 in a row, sometimes no visits for 3 weeks. All THEIR way - drives me nuts. SO cracks the poops if I do not want his kids any weekend their mothers suggest. Except mothers day weekend. I put my foot down this one weekend of the year, only my kids in my home on Mothers day. I think I am reasonable, and I think you are being reasonable. Our other halves need to know that they can't force these kids that cause us stress onto us on MOTHERS DAY! My opinion is they should be with their own mothers all day anyway.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 12:30am

I know.why do the moms not have them the whole day and better their whole lives!!! }:)

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 12:29am

It is probably that SD will have a gift for me, which makes it all worse.I mean, you would think, how lovely to get a md present from a skid, but she is just such an attention seeker and overpowering with her suck ups.But I would look really bad if I inspite of her doing "the right thing"will want my kids for myself.I want to scream!! I thought maybe instead of the morning to do some later lunch thing since she will go then soon.I hate being a sm.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 10:12am

You shouldn't even be put in this position. It is MOTHERS DAY for goodness sake. Why should kids be anywhere than with their mother. I hate that we all get made to question ourselves and feel bad or guilty when someone else (BM) is the one that should be feeling bad. Unless she has passed or lives a million miles away - a BM is responsible for her child ALL DAY on MOTHERS DAY.

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 2:10pm

I am 100% on your side with this one, I would NOT want to spend mother's day with skid if I had my own children. Is there any way she can go to her mother's house in the morning? Our CO states SD spends the entire mother's day with mom and the entire father's day with dad. Why can't she go over early so you can do what you want on your day?

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 05/11/2013 - 3:00am

she goes at lunchtime....I agree with the regulation - and why wouldn't you want your own kid!?

Jellybeam's picture

Submitted by Jellybeam on Fri, 05/10/2013 - 4:50pm

Go with your kids. 8 is old enough to handle this. Besides, it might hurt BM's feelings if you take her kid-just tell the skid that. Who really cares what the bm feels, but this may turn into a "you aint my babys mama, you need to back off my kid, stop trying to come between me and my bd, blah blah blah.

Screw them. Your kids need to come before hers on mothers day. If she had a dead mother, I would feel differently.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 05/11/2013 - 3:07am

Now,the plan is.....I actually have another sleep over kid here tonight(my sons buddy).I organised to drive him back to his mom late tomorrow morning instead of her picking him up.Sneakily I did this not only because I wanted to be really nice but also because in this way I can snatch my own kids from the insanity- my daughter can practice driving and my sons will just come along to accompany their friend.I said to SO already that I will do then something small with the kids.SD will be picked up anyway early afternoon so in theory there would be no time to take her and have her back in time.
Perfect, I only hope that my teenage son is not making a fuss tomorrow when I again will downplay that we will do "only something little"(which is gonna be lunch actually now).Ha! I feel evil but I don't care.This is gonna be good tomorrow.Yay.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 05/11/2013 - 3:08am

If anything goes wrong I will use Jellybeams BM thing as a back up plan!She suuuuurrrreeeely would be upset when someone else takes her kid for md!

Breathing through it's picture

Submitted by Breathing through it on Fri, 05/12/2023 - 3:48am

I have the same sort of issue. SD has no contact with mum on MDay. we are doing a breakfast together and them Im taking my 2 daughters out for the afternoon. I have made a point not to say that I dont want SD there and focused more on wanting to spend the time with my girls on mothers day. I suggested that my SO and SD visit his mother in the afternoon.