Celebrations for SK's...None for SM
This is an issue that I have been having with my DH. Over the years we have hosted birthday parties for everyone in my husbands family (5), mothers day for a MIL that doesn't recognize me on mothers day, father's day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and the list can go on depending on the year. DH even wanted to throw in BBQ's for the boyfriend and girlfriend of the SK's. I put my foot down and said NO! After many years of marriage I am getting tired of always going out of the way to plan these parties as well as the yearly family vacation. There is no party for me as SM even though DH was so kind as to have one our first year of marriage, unfortunately, I said no more (SD was a horses patute and it was obvious she didn't want to be there) why do I want to ruin my one day a year that I get any attention and feel genuine love from my family (who all live out of state).
Here's the problem, I am at a breaking point and have no motivation to take part or do any more of these parties for anyone! I am feeling that it is always about them. My SK's can't even think to get off their rears and buy me a birthday card, I am lucky if I get a text saying "Happy birthday". Am I being selfish? They are both almost 30 years old.
While I did not expect them to think of me as a "Mom" since they have one that they are extremely close to, I feel that they are not appreciative of the things I do for them and am feeling that if it isn't reciprocated after 8 years, why bother.
Any thoughts on how to move forward?
I like your response! I am
I like your response! I am taking some time off from all of these "gatherings". DH can do all the work and I am going to go shopping.
I agree, I already feel the
I agree, I already feel the weight lifted off my shoulders.
Even if these were your bio
Even if these were your bio children it would still be okay not to host birthday parties for grown adults. When I was 30 I hosted parties and did things for my parents.
Thank you for your comment
Thank you for your comment and support. At times like these, I feel like a very lonely person since my DH isn't supportive of me and how I handle his family. Prior to getting married, my MIL was so nice to inform me, on what was to be a nice evening at a ball game, how she and one of the SIL talked a long time about me and how "unappreciative" I am of my DH. Ruined that evening quickly. Part of my problem is, I have no family here. All of my family lives out of state so I feel this is why my inlaws have been so nasty towards me. Maybe it would have been different if they had to face my parents at birthday parties.
Thank you for my new slogan!
Thank you for my new slogan! I hadn't thought of this and am adopting it.
Sorry to hear your SS doesn't
Sorry to hear your SS doesn't appreciate you. At least you tried. I am sure years down the road he will realize what he did.
No, I didn't break up my DHs former marriage. Although, the ex-wife has gone around telling everyone I did, so that muddied the waters for me being accepted into the family. The real eye opening experience was attending his mother's family reunion one year (after attending quite a few) and finding someone had brought in wedding pictures of DH and his exwife to pass around. I haven't been to another one since. How rude! I didn't realize how inconsiderate family could be.
Yes, no more party planning
Yes, no more party planning for me. I am almost 50 and wish someone else would take over. But, I have no BIO children and my SKs NEVER invite me or DH to do anything. They are "good" kids as they have jobs and work but it is obvious to me they were brought up the world revolved around them. I'm tired!!
Good point! I am keeping
Good point! I am keeping that in mind as I move forward.
Hopefully he will include you
Hopefully he will include you in this. I sometimes think husbands have their head up their rearend! I am sure it would be different if the shoe were on the other foot. :jawdrop: