My husband and I have a 13 month old son. He has a 4 year old son who lives in Ohio. His other son's mother was a one night stand, who intentionally hid the pregnancy and subsequent birth from my husband until the child was 2. Things were amicable between them at first, until my husband and I started dating and got married/had our son. My husband had known about his son for about 6 months when we started dating. At that time, my stepsons BM only asked for $250 a month in child support, because she comes from a very wealthy family and is herself well off by default. Soon after my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child, she blindsided him with a lawsuit for more child support - $700 a month to be exact. PLUS back child support she claims she is owed. My husband faithfully pays what they had agreed on every month. BM is very jealous of me and our family. My husband is in the military and does his best to see his son when he is not deployed (which is often due to his career field) and when he is able to take leave. BM makes it as difficult as possible to let him see the kid. My stepson is terribly behaved and spoiled rotten. I tolerate him when he visits but i do not love him. My husband refuses to discipline him out of guilt. I am so stressed and angry and resentful now with the child support lawsuit. We cannot afford a lawyer so my husband is studying on family law to represent himself. Of course, BM is rich and her and her family can afford the best attorneys money can buy. I don't know what to do. I understand he has an obligation to support his son from this other "relationship" (one night stand), but our family is going to suffer immensely. And all because of BM jealousy. She and her son already live in a gorgeous house, travel out of the country on vacation all the time, he goes to private school and has the best of everything. She does not "need" $700 a month, she is doing this only out of spite and jealousy. I am so resentful of the whole situation. I am resentful that our family is going to go in to debt, be on state assistance, that my children will never have the opportunities and things that will be afforded to my stepson. I dread him coming to visit now. I understand that logically its not his fault, but all I see when I look at that spoiled, mean little kid is all the things taken away from my children so he can live an EVEN MORE privileged and oppulent life. BM does not work. She makes no attempt to work. She is allegedly going to school full time, which is good for her, but I sacrifice for my child and unborn child (and now even more for her son since my husband is about to have to pay almost 3x as much child support) so I don't understand why she feels like she doesnt need too. Everyone is sacrificing but her. Why can't she go to school part time and get a job? Oh, because she doesnt need to. Because she is rich already. I resent my husband now too, because even after all this he is planning extensive trips up to Ohio even though we will be so tight on money, to leave me and my child here, to visit him. He is planning these extravagant visits for his son to come down here. I'm so angry and sad, and resentful. I hate myself for feeling this way but I can't stop it. He is going to take even more from my children to give to that kid, even after this $700 a month child support order is put in place AND the $20,000 back child support (the difference between the $250 a month he had been paying for the past 2.5 years and the $700 he is ordered to pay now). She might even get back child support from the kids first 2 years of life even though she hid the kid from my husband during that time. She is an ugly and vile human being, has said the ugliest things about me and my son to anyone who will listen, even though I tried so hard in the beginning to be nice and loving to her and her son. I just can't do it anymore. I feel like a terrible person but I resent my stepson's existence because of the strain it is putting on my family and the hardships it is putting on my children. He has more than enough, she has more than enough, she is just hateful and ugly and jealous.