And the hits keep coming...

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And it continues.

As if having full time custody of the step kids made official yesterday wasn't enough..

Dh and I planned on getting married this summer. We were going to stay at the same house as last year (it's my friends vacation home) and have just a small ceremony with close family, the kids and friends.

We had discussed with the kids when we first got engaged that this was what we wanted to do..

On Monday, I said to DH we need to talk to the kids together as a family about soon about our plans as they are only 2 months away. We agreed to discuss as a family this week.

Then yesterday, I get home and can tell something is up. I asked him if he talked to the kids about stuff.. yes.. then about vacation/wedding? yes.

I was immediately level 10 atomic pissed. Why? I asked him. His half assed response "well, we were talking about stuff and vacation just came up, so I told them".. And? "well, they (get this shit) didn't like that house and really don't want to go to the same place 2 years in a row"..

Uhmmm.. WTF. To say I was pissed was the understatement of the decade.

So, let me get this straight.. we have the house booked. we have looked at flights and got pricing. I bought a dress. Told your parents the week we are going down there. And now that is "tentative" or possibly not happening why?

"Well, it is the 4th of July week and the kids would rather go up to my moms because of the fireworks".. You have gotta be kidding me? Am I being punked? Is Ashton Kutcher gonna pop out of my closet?

First of all, this is the only week available at my friends vacation home. Second of all, she is charging us next to nothing to stay there. Third, we had this plan in motion for months. Fourth, we can't do it any later in the summer as the skids have football conditioning. Fifth, he wasn't supposed to go talk to them - this was supposed to be a family discussion.

I could go on and on about how freaking wrong this all is, but I wont.

I was so pissed and hurt - betrayed. No, he did not flat out say the wedding wasn't happening.. he didn't have to. I could tell by the tone in his voice and the way he was on their side that he was giving in to them.

I left. I said fine. Let the kids decide when we get married - why don't you let them decide IF we get married. This shit is put off for a year - if I make it that long.

I'm pretty much done. He doesn't get why I am so pissed - wow, there's a huge red flag right there.

This will be the rest of your

This will be the rest of your life if you marry this moron. Sorry.

Yup.. Funny how just the

Yup..

Funny how just the other day we were a united front.. then he gets the kids full time and "we" go right out the window.

I told him today - fine..

I told him today - fine.. you and your "boyz" go to grannys for the fireworks. My daughter and I will be going to Florida.

^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^. That was

^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^.
That was your crystal ball. You KNOW what you need to do here.

^^Yup and yup^^ He has told

^^Yup and yup^^

He has told you, in so many ways here, that he is not going to marry you and that HIS children will be a problem and will be - to use a George W'ism - the 'Deciders'.

Why are you still there? Leave. You are teaching this man how to treat you and you are teaching your daughters how to be treated. You need to gather up your stuff and move on.

If he wants to grovel and actually marry you then he'll have to set a date and walk down the aisle but the only way to find this out is if you leave.

One foot is out the door,

One foot is out the door, sister..

It's a bullshit move and I don't care how he tries to spin it.. he was dead wrong doing what he did the way he did it.

Did he allow them to cancel the plans.. no, but he sure as hell let them bitch and complain (or "give their opinions" in his words).. and then came back to me with negativity and "well, maybe we should reconsider.."

No way. No way in hell is someone going to tell me that I should reconsider my wedding/honeymoon/vacation plans to suit 2 kids who should be grateful as hell we are even including them.. because their BM sure as hell didn't when she flew off to Vegas to marry hubby # 3 who by the way is the reason she is ABANDONING them yet again..

I am so freaking pissed

Yeppers.. That's fine with

Yeppers.. That's fine with me.. he did show me exactly what kind of a person he truly is.. and that he doesn't have my back what so ever.

I mean, seriously? Our wedding.. he lets their asses have a say in this - and after we agreed to discuss together.

Wow.. stick the knife in and twist it, why don't ya?

I'm sorry because I know how

I'm sorry because I know how hurt you are. I hated when DH had family discussions with the SKids when I wasn't around. I've been with DH for a while now and we finally have a rhythm going but it really did take YEARS. The Skids being able to dictate where the family vacations are or where the ADULTS get married is a HUGE red flag.

Oh, I went for a drive last

Oh, I went for a drive last night and sat in my car and cried for an hour.. then came home and took a shower and cried there too.. luckily my daughter wasn't home. By the time she was, I was pulled together enough to fake it.

The sad thing is.. this was an issue.. and I thought we resolved these kind of behind the scenes "family discussions".. I get that the kids will want to talk about private things to just their dad - my daughter does the same with me.

This wasn't just a thing.. it was so important - how we handled it... and he effed it up royally.. really, it's unforgiveable,

Whatever you do, DO NOT let

Whatever you do, DO NOT let him convince you to forgive him for this.
I bet you a hundred bucks he is going to come to you, apologize and try to smooth things over with you. You'll forgive him, continue with the relationship and then he'll do it again. And the cycle will continue.

Don't fall for it. Don't let his empty promises of "I'll do better" make you think he actually will change. He won't change. He's shown you his true colors. Don't believe anything he tells you, believe his actions.

Oh, he is already trying.

Oh, he is already trying. Not happening. Tried to tell me "we just need to sell the idea to his kids".. WTF.. I have to sell my wedding plans to your kids? What a joke.

Oh, and excuses galore.. "oh, well.. we were just talking and they asked about vacation...." Oh, and you just thought "screw her.. BOYS WANNA TALK.." Yea, ok.. he did what he wanted because he wanted to. "We" and "Our" plans got shoved right out the door..