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Being sick and visitation

smokeyquartz's picture

Submitted by smokeyquartz on Sat, 04/06/2013 - 12:01am

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Bio Child Free Zone

Have a question about something that happened a while back. During one of SD8 visits to our house for the weekend I was feeling a little under the weather. Mainly headaches etc from stress at work I thought. So during the visit I really just wanted to be alone and not have to be part of the crazy (in a good way) weekend so FDH told SD8 that I was sick and needed to be left alone so I could feel better. Anyway, during the week BM rings and says to FDH that she would appreciate it if I was feeling sick that her daughter doesn't coem visit as now she is the one who has to deal with a sick child. I felt awful and that I shouldn't have been in the house (though I didn't even end up with a cold or anything so who knows if it was from me). It also made me feel like such a child for some reason.

What do you do if one of you is slightly sick if the kids come to visit? In a way I feel like it is life, I mean BM wouldn't sent SD8 to our house if she was sick. Of course if you really were quite ill I could understand, no point when you need to get better and dont want SD8 to get sick.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 04/06/2013 - 2:11am

umm, I would not feel guilty about the incidence.To my mind Kids care days are kids care days and like in normal core families the kids stay where they normally go.How many times was I sick when the kids were little and just had to deal with it. In your case BM has now indicated she doesn't want SD to come if you are not well- although I find she is not really fair blaming you for her getting sick, this could be a blessing in disguise.Since she gives you green light to leave SD with her if you are not well! I would be super happy if BM would suggest that and come up with the additional little flu or cold to avoid SD, hehehe

Jellybeam's picture

Submitted by Jellybeam on Sat, 04/06/2013 - 2:12am

If it's just a cold going around our house, the skid comes over. She'll pick it up and take it ho her BM(ha ha)because her mother never taught her to wash her hands(her bad). Usually it's SD bringing the germs to our house, though, and I follow her around with Lysol and Clorox wipes.
If one of us had strep or the flu, we would call and tell BM to keep the kid a couple extra days.
It's not uncommon that I feel sick(of my SD) and need to stay in bed when she is at our house.

smokeyquartz's picture

Submitted by smokeyquartz on Sat, 04/06/2013 - 3:48am

Haha, thanks guys. Godo to know I wasn't going crazy with that - hard to tell sometimes. Don't want to do the wrong by people but don't want to feel guilty over things I shouldn't!

Love how you can see being "sick" as a blessing in disguise. So far on the whole things have been great with SD8 but I'll keep it in mind!

smokeyquartz's picture

Submitted by smokeyquartz on Sat, 04/06/2013 - 7:19am

Yes he did - he is great with her when she comes, its just we do spend a lot of time all together when she's here as well. If she was all over me when I was sick and didn't let me rest this would have been a whole different post lol!