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O/T vent about ex-h

shabner's picture

So, totally off topic, and don't really need advice. I really just want to vent, and I need to get this out before I go home to my kids at the end of the day.
I left my Ex because while I was away on business, he openly had an affair with the town trollop. They have continued their rocky relationship ever since but she has moved out of the house since Dec.
I left my Ex everything, the house, the vehicles, the contents of the house, and did not take anything with me when I left.
He has never paid child support for our one minor child, and that was because of an arrangement that we had since our older (19 yr. old) decided to stay with him (lasted 1 month).
Anyway Ex called me up a couple of weeks ago, asking if I would like to take over the house (the mortgage is still in both our names) and that he would sign off on it.
He said he is having trouble making ends meet. So I said yes I would consider it since my children who both live with me grew up there, and my 2 best friends live 3 and 4 doors down, and it's across the street from my work.
Then I find out from Ex's mother that he borrowed 150 grand from her against the house to pay down the higher interest mortgage. He spent all of that money on frivilous stuff, 2 Harley Davidsons, 2 trips to Jamaica, expensive engagement ring, all in less than a year.
He is now 1.5 years behind on property taxes, over 3 months behind on mortgage, and owes his mother 150 grand that is secured with the house.
I talked to Ex and told him in no way, shape or form would I take on all the debt that he caused when he just spent all that money on nothing. Although this whole situation makes me so angry, here is the kicker, he called me at work today to tell me that the bank has started collections on the house, and that it's going to affect my credit rating as well so I better loan him the money to pay the arrears. Now I make $2000.00 a month almost half of which goes to rent, and I support on my own both our children and have never received a dime from him, and he did not work for 5 years prior to our separating. I did ask him where the hell he thinks I would get that money from, and he seriously replied that I should give him my tax refund, since this affects me just as negatively as him!!!! Has anyone else ever dealt with someone so clueless and selfish?

stormabruin's picture

That sucks some serious shit.

I didn't own a home with my exH, but we had just gotten a loan on a new vehicle. After we split he moved to my home state for a job & I ended up having to pay the property taxes he failed to pay so I could renew the registration on my vehicle, in addition to having to make the monthly payments & keep the full-coverage insurance on it because it was a joint loan.

Honestly, it wasn't something I ever even thought about when we split. When it started I called the bank & asked about them taking me off the loan. They wouldn't do it because he couldn't qualify for it without me.

RedWingsFan's picture

OMFG what a douche canoe! Seriously? I can't believe he'd pull that kind of shit. Any way you can get your name off the house deed?

RedWingsFan's picture

I love that one too!

And this: "I'd slap her but I don't want to get slut all over my hand"!!!!!!!!!!!

stormabruin's picture

What was the agreement on the house when you guys split?

I doubt they'll take your name off the mortgage, especially with there being taxes owed on it.

amber3902's picture

A quit claim deed does not free you of the mortgage debt. You are still on the hook for the mortgage and the ONLY way to get out of the mortgage is if a bank is willing to refinance the mortgage under your ex's name alone.

Trust me, BTDT.

amber3902's picture

No problem. The quit claim deed does indeed mean that the BM had no legal rights to the property, however, does not get her off the hook for the mortgage debt.

That's good your DH was able to get the house refinanced under his name. One less headache. Smile

amber3902's picture

Something like this happened to me. My exH fought me tooth and nail for possession of the martial home. Both of our names were on the mortgage. I could not get him to move out, so I moved out with our two DDs.

ExH stayed in the home, did not pay the mortgage. Even though we had an agreement written into our divorce settlement stating he would get the house refinanced under his name alone, he could not get this done. The bank refused to refinance it under his name alone because he did not qualify with only his income. You can not force a bank to refinance a mortgage just because of what's agreed to in a court order.

What happened was the house went into foreclosure. However, it's not the end of the world as you might think. I talked to a real estate agent, and she said with the way the housing market has been the past few years, most people are understanding when your credit is ruined due to a foreclosure. She said I would even be able to buy a house in five years. And at least I'm no longer connected to this dumbhead any more.

shabner's picture

We have a separation agreement that specifically says that I am not responsible for the mortgage on the home, or any bills or leins that he accures since we separated.
The bank will not take my name off of the mortgage for the same reason as amber, he doesn't qualify on his own. I'm sure he'll end up forclosing on the house because he is honestly too lazy to put it up for sale. Houses in the area sell like hotcakes, and he could get out of the situation easily by putting it on the market, but he is a very lazy selfish douche.

Stepcop's picture

Call an attorney now. My husband got screwed the same way by his now ex wife. We are still dealing with the fallout of the foreclosure.

amber3902's picture

BOTH names that are on the mortgage have to sign the real estate papers agreeing to put the house up for sale.

ETA- she's between a rock and a hard place.

I even had in my divorce settlement that my exH had a certain amount of time to refinance the house, and if he couldn't get it done by that time we would put the house up for sale.

But he just stopped paying the mortgage, so it was foreclosed on before we could sell it.

onebright1's picture

I have the same thing going on with my ex. EXCEPT, I continued to pay the 2nd mortgage for 12 years! after we split. SAme deal. He refused to leave so I did. He refused to pay , so I did right up until last year when I lost my job. He actually keeps threatening me to go to court to make me pay LOL what a Dumba$$ . I continued paying it for 12 years so as not to ruin my credit. Stupid me. Its ruined now from having to take a lower paying part time job. My ex still lives in that house and only owes 7 grand on it since I paid it down to that over 12 years and he is gonna be a moron and lose it over 7 grand. I didnt sign a quit claim like he wanted me to though due to the fact that I was paying for it. Hopefully he gets his head outa his butt and pays it.