Wouldn't you love $2k per month to BLOW?!
Please bear with me as I just need to truly VENT ... despite the issue really not being my business. 
I believe not being married to my long-term SO has many benefits, and one of those is that we don't have mixed finances. And thank goodness for that!
As background, my SO's CS agreement was until skids were 21. When SD turned 21 she still had apx. one more year of school/internship to go, so SO willingly CHOSE to continue the CS payments - but paid them directly to SD not BM. SO also advised BM that he was going to be giving SD this CS amount, so BM knew SD was getting it.
The issue is this: During that last year of college, BM willingly paid all of SD's apartment rent, utilities, car insurance/maintenance, groceries and cell phone plan. SO was also giving SD that $1,000 per month (the CS amount) on top of that - he figured it was plenty to cover other incidentals. Both SO and BM as well as their grandparents also lavish significant cash gifts on skids throughout the year.
SD's education was completely paid for, including books and other fees so she had no bills in that regard either.
Considering we are living in the Age of Entitlement it should come as no surprise what we just learned. (BTW, SD is now working and self-supporting so the issue I'm going to bring up is moot but it still annoys me.)
SD recently casually mentioned that durng that last year of school, she was averaging about $1,000 per month in credit card bills which her mother also paid for. This was on top of all those other bills which her mother was paying. And was in addition to the $1K in cash SO was giving SD each month! SO commented that it seemed like a large credit card balance each month.
SD is not a shopper or fashion conscious and often wears the same clothes over and over again, so it certainly wasn't going on spending sprees.
Her response? "Oh you know, I spent a lot going out with friends ..."
WTF??? A college kid spending $2,000 or more per month on "going out"?
Her next comment was the kicker: "Well, after all, it wasn't MY money!"
Boy, doesn't that describe it all?!
SO didn't say a word because of course, he is the proverbial Disney Dad and will never say a critical thing to her, certainly not in front of me. But boy, I could sure would have come up with a few choice words later if my SO and I were co-mingling assets or married!
Really, a total of $2,000 per month for nearly a year - for a 21 year old to party?! Absolute insanity.
Right? That's more
Right? That's more expendable income per month thant I sure as hell have and I've been working my whole damn life!
I hear you ... I am proud of
I hear you ... I am proud of the fact I've been self-supporting since I was 18. Not the case anymore, I'm afraid.
"Well, after all, it wasn't
"Well, after all, it wasn't MY money!" :jawdrop:
That is beyond insanity,
That is beyond insanity, IMHO. I bet she had lots of "friends" to help her spend it, too. I am so sorry you had to hear this (ignorance being bliss and all that). Yep, it's water under the bridge and hopefully SO is DONE shelling out $$$ to this entitled princess parasite.
My SS does the same thing - has college paid for, and was using our car for a while after he trashed his own ride, but he was going out all hours of day and night, not telling us where he was going and when he was getting back, which was so stressful to me, I made sure he bought his own car (which he didn't have to chip in a dime for either). He works P/T but spends all his money on, guess who? He still managaes to con g-ma into sending him checks; heaven knows what for - he has NO bills except gas and car insurance. As near as I can tell he is more interested in hanging out with pals than going to school. He's failed one class that I know of, and DH won't parent him through school, after years of micromanaging in sports. It boggles the mind.
I think when these kids have no skin in the game, they fail if not pushed and prodded. When they don't take care of something because they didn't spend their own money on it. When they finally DO have their own money they still get others to pay their way and take advantage and hoard their pennies for themselves, still no b-day cards or x-mas gifts for their dad. I've never let my kids get away with that kind of behavior and it's so hard to watch someone else's do it and not have a say.
Sounds like the worst is over? I hope so!!
I hope the worst is over,
I hope the worst is over, Sick! But the fear is always there that these "kids" will eventually wind up back on the parental teats at some point.
Although gainfully employed, there might come a day when they get tired of working or aren't "treated right" (Eg. Told daily how wonderful they are) on the job, so they quit.
And you are right about their OWN money - now that SD has to pick up all her bills, she has become a tightwad like you wouldn't believe!
What?!? My total college
What?!? My total college allowance, for food, gas, clothes, travel, books and what have you, was 6k a year--500 a month. And I was able to save half of it by being frugal because I was told, if I spent it all, that was it, I'd have to get a job.
Kids (although I just graduated two years ago) these days. *shakes head*
I'm glad you chimed in on
I'm glad you chimed in on this, not2. It is good to hear from someone who is a relative "contemporary" to SD. If you managed to SAVE money on a $500 month budget, it only highlights how ridiculous SD's allotment was.
I'm 23 so I can't be THAT far
I'm 23 so I can't be THAT far away. I walked away with about 2.5k every year for the four years I went to college (including taking summer AND winter classes those four years so I can finish in four years with a double major. That was A LOT OF BOOKS.)
Lol thinking about how much I could have done with 2k a month.... I'd have bought another house by now,
SD is going to be 23 this
SD is going to be 23 this year. Yep - $24K would have been a tidy sum for a home! I have a feeling she was probably footing the bill for lots of her friends. I only hope you (and every other struggling college student) ran into someone like her during your college career - at least you would have been wined & dined once in awhile!
Just think what a nice
Just think what a nice emergency fund that money would've made. But I guess with parents like that, she doesn't need an emergency fund.
Really! $24K is about HALF
Really! $24K is about HALF of the average American FAMILY's income! And she has nothing to show for it - no furniture, no household goods, no clothing, no jewelry. Nothing - just eating out and partying.
And you are right - she will not need an emergency fund because maternal grandparents worked their tails off their entire lives, did well with investments, and have fully provided for BM (never worked a full-time job in her life) and now skids. It's second generation entitlement babies.
But someday, maybe soon and maybe with this generation, the money is going to run out if the brakes aren't put on it. From what I'm seeing, these two skids could easily burn it up in no time once g-parents are dead gone.
I wonder if they ever consider the monsters they created. Probably not. I think in their minds they think it's wonderful and a sign of their own success that their daughter, and now grandkids, can live a lavish spoiled life without a care in the world.
Your aunt and uncle are to be
Your aunt and uncle are to be commended, because they balanced a benefit with responsibility. The kid got the car but had to take responsibility (work) for it.
It's a reasonable expectation and one that has somehow been lost in the last generation or so, I think.
Middle school with iPhones? What's next? Can you imagine when these kids hit high school and what they will be commanding?
Keeping up with the Joneses and appearing wealthy has become a national addiction.
That is out of line. I have a
That is out of line. I have a 19 & 21 yo, both in college. Both work while going to school. I contribute what I can, but they both know money is tight. And no way do they spend $2k on "going out" per month. Maybe... $200? And one lives in a major city.
We're in major city, too.
We're in major city, too. But damn ... break it down and that's $500 PER WEEK in partying! Incredible!
Neither SD nor SS had to work throughout college. Not even part-time. Their month-long European vacations were also fully paid for - airfare, hostel/hotel money, and at least $1,800 (that I knew of) cash spending money.
I am glad to hear everyone else's experiences/input on this issue because once you are exposed to this kind of insanity, it's hard to get perspective as what is "sane" - especially because I have no kids of my own.
I was certain it was ridiculous but it's good getting affirmation from others.
MUST BE FUCKING NICE!!!!! Why
MUST BE FUCKING NICE!!!!! Why the fuck wasn't I born in the "Age of Entitlement"!? Oh that's right because God knew I was one of the good ones that actually would WORK for everything I have and not complain or expect life to be handed to me on a silver platter!!! Still burns my ass...
Unfortunately Tasha, most of
Unfortunately Tasha, most of the entitled bunch don't see those of us who work and support ourselves as being good. Rather, they think we are all stupid suckers.
Self-sufficiency, integrity, character? Who needs 'em anymore. All you need do is whine, manipulate or guilt people into getting what you want.
I am seeing it more and more in the workplace, too. Incredible the stuff they demand. They expect others to pick up their work so they can do what they want at a moment's notice. No consideration at all for other people - just their own desire to grab at the latest shiny object they are interested in.
My SS27 is no longer
My SS27 is no longer subsidized by parents but found an older woman whose son died that he now lives with. She's a mother figure not a girlfriend.
So he has no rent, car, insurance, etc. He is working quite a bit now so takes home about $400 a week. He just blows it on drinking, clubs and drugs. So responsible.
LOL ... now THAT's a classic!
LOL ... now THAT's a classic! Does the woman have any other kids - if so, I wonder what they think.
Your SS is a real class act - glom on to a lonely old woman rather than be a man and support himself.
BM and your DH created a
BM and your DH created a monster, they have themselves to blame for this wasteful, entitled brat. BTW I imagine that it's not going to be over because she's working, they likely will continue to support her... just because she got a job does not mean that she'll suddenly become responsible.
what the heck does BM do for a living that she could afford that? (and your DH for that matter)
It's kind of spread out in
It's kind of spread out in info above but BM comes from a wealthy family.
BM has never held a full-time job and was given everything her whole life, up to and including now. She is in her 50's.
She (and her parents) raised the skids the same way, completely spoiled from birth. They were all actively and regularly told by their grandparents, "You won't have to work a day in your life if you don't want to! We have made enough money so you will never worry about a thing for the rest of your lives!" The g-parents are foreign-born and I think they mistakenly thought this is the way the American dream works.
My SO tried to combat this as kids were being raised, as he is a self-made man, but BM and gparents won out. He is certainly responsibile for not sticking to his beliefs and instilling that in his kids, but I do understand how alone he was in that mind-set.
Good grief..are these parents
Good grief..are these parents nuts? They are doing her no favours by giving her everything she needs or wants.What she really needs is a JOB and to look after herself.She needs to learn the value of money and that it does not grow on trees and to say" it was not my money" is just rude and shows what kind of person she is.She can thank her parents for that ...I don't get why parents think they owe their kids..nice to help if you can , but giving money like that serves no pupose , only to spoil her rotten.How do they expect her to grow up.
I bet these same parents pay for her entire wedding one day( poor husband ) and spoil the grandkids with lavish gifts..sad