Hi,
I am a step mom to a five year old boy. I've known this child since he was three. His father and I used to be best friends until that blossomed into something more. I've been a step mom for about a year now, and it's been one of the biggest stresses in my life that I have ever encountered. I have no one to talk to because I am the youngest of three sisters and my sisters are not step parents. There's actually no other person in my life who is...so needless to say I feel incredibly alone going through this on my own.
First let me say, I love my step son. I do, he's a smart smart child with so much potential I can't wait to see what he becomes in life. But I guess my problem...is the child's mother..I am the sort of girl who doesn't share my husband. That's not saying he's cheating he would never don't that, I'm saying, he already gives her 500 a month in child support and she does nothing but quoit job after Job and ask for more money. My stepson is not healthy all she ever feeds him is junk food and he gets snacks whenever he wants them because she doesn't want to deal with him crying if she says no. So the weekends we have him it's incredibly hard to get him to listen to us as he sees his trips to our house as a vacation. He's almost six and doesn't know how to wipe his own butt after he goes potty.
Since I've been around things have changed. I told my husband that looking from the outside in,his child is very spoiled, very unhealthy, and lacks structure. He listened to me which I am grateful for and now whenever we have him he eats healthier, he goes on walks with us around the block, he has learned to wipe, and he cleans up his own room. His dad has noticed a significant change in his own sons maturity levels.
So I guess the problem is not my step son, but it is. I am 23 now, my husband is 26, I really am getting to a point where I want a child of my own. But my husband doesn't because he's already experienced having his own child and raising him and doesn't want to do it again. It seems as though he's un accepting of the fact that I have yet to experience this and want my own child with my husband to start our own little family. I also think he's afraid he won't have as much time for his son if we have our own..which I try to assure him would not be the case. My step son is and will remain my step SON. He'll always be in my life and I have no intention of changing that. However, my husband is completely paranoid about me getting pregnant. He makes sure I take my pills every single day, even though I've never skipped a day he practically watches me take them. I realize his side of things, but he won't realize mine. So all of this here lately has led me to not want to be around my step son as much because I've started feeling like he is the reason I can't have my own...which makes me feel terrible and heartless. I need to be able to be around him and see him as himself and not a barrier in my life. Any suggestions at all...Thank you.