Making up her own rules as she goes along (sorta long)
As part of the CO, DH gets 4 holiday weekends a year of his choosing to spend with the skids. BM and DH are required to split the travel costs, whether that be the kids flying or DH's travel costs to go see them.
In November, he informed BM that he would be exercising this for the weekend of April 26-28 (a holiday weekend in their current school district).
BM refused to accept his request at that time stating that she didn't know where she would be living or if they would be busy.
This past Saturday, she emails and says that he can have that weekend, but it's not a holiday so she won't pay half the travel. She said it's a "Texas celebration day" and not considered a holiday under the custody agreement. :?
The kids are out of school, it's notated as a "holiday" on the school calendar, and the CO does not specify that the holidays have to be national/federal holidays. DH informed as such that same evening.
Last night, she hijacks his phone call with his kids to say she'll pay half of his flight and that she's online now researching these flights and will go ahead and book the cheapest one. The cheapest which just so happens to fly in Friday night (the day off school) to Houston (3+ hours away from them). He told her not to do that. After hanging up, he emails her and says he will book the travel and provide receipts for her to reimburse half; including air, hotel, and rental car.
She replies this morning stating:
"I'm happy to pay one way of your travel i.e. return trip or your arrival trip to TX. However I am NOT willing to cover any extra accrued cost like your lodging or rental car as the custody and visitation schedule does NOT outline any responsibility for me to cover any portion of these additional cost.
If you would like to split the cost of the round trip airline ticket I have found a round trip ticket for around $409 as of today. Or I can book your return flight today for a cost of $155.00 Waiting to the last moment creates a substantial additional cost. I am not in the position to have this additional burden cost. With that being said I am willing to pay my share of your transportation to TX wether it is splitting the round trip or paying for your one way flight back to MD.
Anything later then today I am pay $200 for my share of your flight wether it's the round trip or the one way."
The CO states that they have to split "actual costs of travel", it does not identify those costs as airfare, hotel, or rental specifically .. but these are realistically costs he will HAVE to incur to see the kids.
The CO also doesn't give her rights to dictate a price limit or timeframe. He requested this weekend almost 6 months ago! And now that the trip is 3 months away, she's demanding he book travel within 24 hours of her acknowleding her responsibility for 1/2 the cost .. DH is not going to wait to the last minute (I hardly think 3 months is "last minute") because he has to pay half too .. it makes no sense to intentionally wait and drive up the price!
I can't say I'm surprised .. she literally does something like this with every.single.visitation. He's not even bothering to reply. Her blatant refusal is enough to prove her failure to comply with the agreement.
This is the third time
This is the third time something particularly like this has happened. But every single time the kids travel, or DH travels to see the kids, she has some issue.
I don't think her "by the end
I don't think her "by the end of the day" timeline is reasonable at all. The trip doesn't even happen for another 12 weeks.
And the flight she picked, although the price is reasonable, flies into Houston. Houston is 3+ hours away from San Antonio. That flight also lands Friday night. Friday is the day the girls have off of school, so he'd miss that entire day completely.
She has interpreted the agreement in the past to include any 3 day weekend from school as a potential "holiday" weekend. She does this when it suits her, of course. It's a little irrelevant now since she's agreed to the weekend, but it never stops her from trying to push back and deny visitation whenever she can. The more difficult she makes it, the more likely she thinks DH will be to give up.
I agree. DH is not asking
I agree. DH is not asking her to pay for meals or gas or anything extra. Just half the cost of the airline ticket, half of the rental car cost, and half the cost of the hotels. More specifically, he is only asking for pro-rated reimbursement on the car and hotel for the days/nights he actually has the kids.
He'll be flying in a day earlier and leaving a day late so he can maximize his time with the skids. He acknowledges that additional cost should not be BM's responsibility.
He initially proposed this entire plan, including the dates, on November 14.
And actually, it ends up being more expensive to fly the skids here. It's 2 roundtrip tickets for them plus a ticket for an escort; so a minimum of 3 roundtrip tickets (assuming BM flies here with them and stays the weekend, then flies home with them). Split in half, that's at least $600 based on the last 4 trips.
For him to fly? It's one roundtrip ticket, hotel for 2 nights, and rental car for 3 days. Split in half, that's (at most) $500 (assuming he doesn't get a better deal on hotel/car like he's been able to in the past).
The holiday is called "Battle of Flowers" .. it's Friday, April 26 this year. It's clearly notated as a holiday on their school calendar (Fort Sam Houston). I'm not sure if it's a state thing, or more local? Perhaps because they live on a military base, it's more recognized there? I'm not sure .. we live in Maryland and I've never heard of it. Something about celebrating Texas's victory against Mexico.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. Fighting every single time he wants to see his kids .. but if you ask her, she does everything she can "to facilitate a strong relationship between her kids and their father." :sick:
LMAO .. I would be your best
LMAO .. I would be your best friend for life if you did that!
I guess it must be a local thing then .. apparently there's a big parade and everything!
Yeah I've never heard of that
Yeah I've never heard of that holiday either! I've been trying to figure it out what "Texas celebration day" she could be talking about for a while!
http://www.battleofflowers.org/about-us/history.aspx
Apparently it's a parade to remember the fallen at the Alamo :?
Be that as it may, our CO has weekend/holiday visitation in the same section. And uses the term 'holiday in reference to any period of time the child is allotted additional days free from school, surrounding a Saturday or Sunday".
Haha .. she's the one who
Haha .. she's the one who called it a "Texas celebration day" .. I'm not sure anyone else really refers to it as that. Just her way of NOT calling it a "holiday"
Our CO does not specifically state that, but the intent is the same .. and it's how every "holiday" weekend visitation has been treated in the past. They've even used Teacher In-Service days as holiday weekends in the past ..
I didn't read all the replies
I didn't read all the replies so I hope this isn't a repeat of anything.
His ex simply does not understand that the court ordered this. It's not a request.
He should have his attorney write a letter stating that the order is either complied with to the letter or he (the attorney) will petition the court for a finding of ciminal, yes criminal, violation of its orders. The attorney will know what to say.
Your husband should stick to the order precisely, asking for no deviation and granding none.
He needs to carefully document any failures, copies of everything, nothing said in person or by phone, its all on paper or printed out from emails. Then if necessary go through with the violation finding.
I agree .. and that's his
I agree .. and that's his plan. He's trying very hard to not get caught up in this back and forth with her .. she's FAMOUS for that.
He's sent everything to his attorney who is reviewing today and will get back to him. He's also forwarded copies to her Commanding Officer.