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Christmas letter

jennaspace's picture

Submitted by jennaspace on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 9:00am

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Adult Stepchildren

I read a "war and peace" letter a family sent at Christmas time (single space, three pages). It occurred to me that with all the changes we've had in the last year, it would be good to write a letter next year at Christmas time.

Then I started doing the mental gymnastics... "Wait, it's going to look bad if I don't have any news about DHs kids in it, esp like stellar, together SM friend who got married at the same time I did and writes glowing reports about her skids like they are her own (my new grandbaby etc...)" ... self rebuttal... "I'm not going to take any time to put any news about skids when I'm disengaged, they aren't my kids and I know I'll have to hound my DH to contribute and he'll take forever or won't do it, I refuse". "why should I have to worry about adding info about adults who I hardly know, who I am not in contact with?". On and on it goes...

Then I amused myself thinking about adding a disengagement paragraph to next years *** Family letter...

"This past year has brought many changes for the **** family. After several years of slander, gossip and triangulation at the hands of MIL and ***, *** Jennastar has decided to officially disengage from skids names for sanity and peace of mind. This has brought exciting changes to our family with much more time to focus on healthy relationships with non-combative family and friends. Jennastar is looking forward to an exciting future with less mayhem, less drama and yes, less of DHs family in her life.

Info about skids can be obtained by calling them yourselves.

Happy New Years from our family to yours!! xx hugs xx, the *** Family"

Well, that would take care of any burdensome expectations! Smile

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 9:40am

I never heard of a Christmas letter, does all the family receive one from who ever writes them? Is it like a letter of confessions or life styles you live through or with?

The less you say about Skids, the less that can come back to haunt you later is my guess. I would refer to Skids by "DH and his kids are..." Keep it positive even if it means it will be short, at least with that topic.

jennaspace's picture

Submitted by jennaspace on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 9:50am

I was just kidding, this is not something I would ever send. idk, I get at least 5 letters/yr... is it unusual?

The letters are at the end of the year summarizing highlights of the year generally.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 10:01am

I love it too! What a fun idea! My news would be as follows:

After receiving no support from skids during several traumatic family events this past year,
DH and SM have been blessed with an in-depth understanding of their skewed mentality. This has led to the following dramatic improvements: we spent less time worrying about the skids, driving to see them, or dealing with their attitudes. As a result, we were able to entertain more, travel more and spend holidays with people we both enjoy. Please join us in wishing our family another enlightened year!

stepmonster_2011's picture

Submitted by stepmonster_2011 on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 10:15am

Funny!

I like the Christmas letters - especially from folks I don't see every year, and this might be the only time I hear from them some years.

BUT I think they are ridiculous when they are written about adult kids. (I have an Aunt that tells me about my cousins. Seriously.) I also think the letter should be less than a page!

I haven't written a holiday letter since SS17 came into my life. I mean how do you spread Holiday Cheer while telling about how he just put another hole in the damn wall or ran away or whatever... gah. Looking forward to next year's when I can just say "and SS turned 18 and decided to move out into the world."

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 10:40am

Here's mine:(read sarcasm here)

Isn't Fido he cutest little cocker spaniel you've ever seen. He's so smart. He is now perfectly trained off leash. We can even leave food out and he won't touch it unless given permission.

He has the sweetest disposition. Just lives to please. Cute and cuddly. A true joy to be around. He volunteers at nursing homes to cheer up the patients.

SS continues his couch surfing. He's been bussing tables at various restaurants. He has made several trips to ER for liver problems. He loves his booze.

Have a wonderful year!

Imagine a huge picture of the dog dominating the page.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 12:29pm

Laughing out loud.... Old One, you are hilarious! Love it! The pic of a dog dominating is the page is out of this world funny! After all, the dog seems to have mastered more tricks than your SS.

jennaspace's picture

Submitted by jennaspace on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 10:46am

lol... dysfunctional family updates! Maybe just send them to DHs family w/the impression it went out to the masses Wink

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 10:59am

How about "Latest news about SD: [blank]. Having a wonderful holiday season. Best to you and yours, Sandy21 and DH."

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 12:27pm

No necessarily.... what if we were to share the actual details of the skids' awfulness:

What a memorable year have we had! In July the OSD informed us that she was in no way predisposed to "wasting her early twenties working" which resulted in major accumulation of interest from her student loans on DH's credit report. In September the YSD responded to DH's sharing the news that he was given the diagnosis of cancer with an inquiry of how soon he would pay for her car insurance. In October the SS accepted several measures aimed at helping him with college tacitly, without a trace of gratitude or acknowledgement. DH's lovely children can always be counted on to provide a plethora of surprises that kept us in a state ranging from stunned to stupified this past year. Thank you, sweet darlings, for making it so abundantly clear what stuff you are made of. Here's to our new and improved ability to see you for what you are!

Towanda's picture

Submitted by Towanda on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 1:39pm

Too funny! I seriously forwarded the hate letter, single spaced front and back 4 page letter my SD wrote after she found out her dad had cancer. Figured it was time my DH's family saw her for what she was. They were appalled. Got my point across finally! Not sure they believed me before that!

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 11:07pm

LOL! These letters are hilarious! This really highlights for me how fake families can be, and so much denial about what is really going on! These types of letters are what is really needed to shake some reality into these fake, let's pretend we are happy dysfunctional families! I hate denial so much!!

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 11:46pm

I know! This is what I mean about denial...I hate the situations where I am with DH and we are catching up with one of his friends and the friend asks him how the kids are. "Oh they are great! SS got a degree, good job, SD oh she's wonderful, degree, good job, house, new puppy" but I would love a real conversation. "Oh kids still excluding CL. They are really mean about it, learned it from their mother, don't see an end in sight, CL continues to be hurt, I'm still a Disney Dad to them, yeah that's the update on kids" LOL!

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 12:01am

Exactly, CL! word for word! This kind of honesty would be a breath of fresh air. Instead of listing the accomplishments ( the OSD almost saved the world single-handedly last year, the SS kept such a brave face when he failed to get any of the internships he applied for, the YSD nearly made the captain of her bowling team) why don't these dads come out with a few bitter truths: yes, i raised ****s, they treat me like **** no matter how loving and generous I am to them, they do not respond to any overtures from my family, and they have no independent thinking skills, so there is no end in sight to their mother poisoning them against me and them GLEEFULLY, eagerly, collectively following her lead.

Too depressing, i suppose...