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Re-engaged to help my DH only backfires!

sundowner's picture

Submitted by sundowner on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 9:37pm

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I should of known better.
For 5 months since the 5 skids came to live with us, I disengaged many times, for long periods.It worked for ME! After seeing how DH struggled with cooperation from his kids to do chores, I offered a possible solution to him.My intention was to "help" my DH and 5 Skids. HE has 5 skids generating tons of dishes( dishwasher broke)..leaving them all over the house even with dried-on food.Dish charts, etc didnt work. And of course no one is leaving THEIR dirty dishes around. Well, I got the idea of giving one dish setting per skid and they were responsible for it. We would know who left what, by the color of their dish. I also removed the abundant dish rags that they were using up faster than light...piling up and no one willing to wash them.In other words, I simplified things.DH agreed to the new idea.He asked ME to set it up.Afterall nothing has worked so far.
I spent MY day off, WORKING to reorganize the kitchen spaces. The skids came home from school to see the plan established.I didnt know until later that night, that the skids actually put the kitchen back to nearly its original state!WHAT?!! I felt so used and mad that they were defiant.It was MY kitchen!I was bewildered,and things got worse when I was shot down when my DH told me they needed the towels and dishes, and never even thanked me for trying to help and not backing me up.!!
I told him.."Im done"..And Ive been so depressed for a week!

HarleyQuinn's picture

Submitted by HarleyQuinn on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:47am

^^^^^this. teach them all a lesson. if they can't have respect for you and your house, eat like this until you do. that goes for DH too! this winds me up soo much too...since when did we become maid of the house for you and your brats?!

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 7:17am

I came downstairs one day to find that SD had taken it upon himself to re organise the entire kitchen! He would have moved onto the rest of the downstairs, had I not walked downstairs and caught him in the act. I was LIVID! I went apeshit at him! DH asked him how he'd feel if I went into his room and trashed what I did not like in there, he said it would be a 'shitty thing to do' and acknowledged he was in the wrong. The bottom line is that he wanted HIS friends to like HIS house and he wanted it all HIS way! He moved around the corner to his friends' house because I am such a bitch. However, he found himself unwelcome at several places and now he's back here. We did not put him out, he was 16, we did not stop him leaving though. He even tried living back at his mother's house! Oh dear, a huge mistake! BM robbed him blind! He's now 19 and he was obliged to come back here after not being able to live elsewhere rent free. He's going to have to repay his dad $400 that was to help him until his first paycheck came in and thereafter he will be paying rent...sure fire way to have him move into his own house...that's what worked for everyone else to get him to move on!