sd is being bitchy!
So Dh sent a text to SD16 asking her how shes was doing, cause she hasnt given any news for over two months now.
She answers thats shes busy with school and other stuff, and thats why she cant come to visit.
He asked how her job was doing...
DH---
Hi Sd16, tell daddy when u work so i can come and see u and ill give u a nice tip if u give good service, love u baby...xxx
Answer from Sd16 after 7 hours---
sorry i was quite busy, but dont u think that instead of giving me a nice tip, u should care about paying for the expenses u owe mommy?
Well, last yr garbagebm had sent 2 letters. One was from a lawyer, which was responded by Dh's lawyer. refusing to pay for activities for which he was not consulted for or that he refused to pay for. She never answered back to his refusals.
How can she? Nothing mentionned in the C.O besides child support.
He lives in a small normal home, 2006 car, no trips, no luxury. And Sd16 knws we dont live in luxury like her mom. Why is she being so bitchy with her dad??? He's not a deadbeat, no drugs, no drinking, very stable home. WHY Is She like this?
Because she can! She can get
Because she can! She can get away with it and no one gives her consequences for her actions. My SD is the same way and she's 18. Although her mother has passed 2 1/2 years ago, she has an older half-sister that encourages her to be like that. She has cut DH and myself off completely and told us where to go. So, she will regret those words one day because when the time comes that she needs us, we won't be there for her. DH has made that abundantely clear to her just this week. She wants HS to be her mother, then she can have HS and let her make decisions for her.
I'm sad because it means DH doesn't get to know his daughter again. We've had her the last 2 1/2 years but before that BM kept her away from us. HS showed SD all the emails that transpired between DH and BM and put SD in the middle of adult situations. Go figure that? You never I don't care how old the child is never put a child in the middle of stuff like that. What happens between adults is between adults not the children to be in the middle.
Anyway, I feel your pain. I pray it gets better for you. Just remember she's a kid and that what kids do. They are influenced and they cannot see the forest from the trees.
Best to you!
thank u... but i really dont
thank u...:) but i really dont ever wanna see her again....uggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
I totally feel for you and
I totally feel for you and hear you loud and clear. I feel the exact same way. With mine, I doubt I ever will see her again, which to me is a real blessing. For how long, I don't know but I know at least the next 5 years LOL. I'm grateful that DH is standing behind me on this one. Feels good. When DH's stand behind us, it makes us feel empowered.
Best of luck to you!
This is the exact problem we
This is the exact problem we are are having with both of my DH's daughters (14 and 18yrs.) we had a blow out and DH says he is done and I can say I relate with your feelings of not wanting to see them again as well...I really feel for you! Sorry you have to go through this!
I’m jealous you don’t have
I’m jealous you don’t have that brat in your home. I say you just enjoy the skid free time and ignore her greed/stupidity.
How do you get to the point
How do you get to the point that they go away for 2 months? Seriously I would love that. How did you get to that point? My SD16 sucks the life out of my home every second week. I pray for when she leaves (and yes I feel guilty for feeling that way but I can tell you guys) and hate when she is coming. As an adult I completely see that it is not her fault. Both parents spoilt her and she believes we are all here to entertain and serve her. She sneers and sniggers at people and believes she is intellectually superior. How can I get less time for us? how did you guys do it?
SHE JUST LISTENS TO HER
SHE JUST LISTENS TO HER MOTHER, THATS ALL...WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT.
SHE HAS HER BED, PYJAMAS, SPONGE, TOOTHBRUSH, UNDERWEAR....EVERYTHING! NOT LIKE WE DONT INCLUDE HER...
BUT HER BM FEEDS HER HATRED AND JEALOUSY...ITS OK...
ITS HURT FOR THE FIRST YRS, BUT NOW WE R GETTING USED TO IT...SHE STARTED NOT COMING WHEN SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO WHEN SHE WAS 7...
THE MOM ALWAYS GAVE HER CONTROL...THATS WHAT HAPPENS. WE TREATED HER LIKE A CHILD AND HER BM ALWAYS TREATED HER LIKE AN ADULT.
If you figure out
If you figure out how...PLEASE let me know!
SD moved out too. After a
SD moved out too. After a two year sentence in a secure juvenile facility she decided to go and live with BM. Not one word to us about her intentions, we show up on her release date and BM is there, the two of them waltz off into the sunset!
DH was upset, I was a little angry that all this went on behind us but I got over that,real quick!
The girl made 18 while she was incarcerated and it's her choice and her consequences.
thanks...btw... he did send
thanks...btw...
he did send her numerous texts and fb messages...but SD16 would brush him off saying she had to much homework...and that is why she cant come over to see her half brother and half sister...even though he knew she was working on the weekends...
She's the one that hasnt tried...He Did!!!
She is a teenager for one and
She is a teenager for one and probably being PASed by BM. Not a lot you can do about it. Hopefully, she will eventually realize what's what.
Your DH should keep in contact with her as much as he can, even if she doesn't want to see him.
Honestly, he sounds pathetic
Honestly, he sounds pathetic in his text to her. Grasping at straws....DH is the same way now with SD16. BM gets away with it because no one calls her out on it. So of course SD is going to say those things....She only knows what mommy has told her. I am sure that was fed to her word for word. Cut her loose....
U R RIGHT...WE HAVE NEVER
U R RIGHT...WE HAVE NEVER TOLD HER HALF OF THE SHIT THE MOTHER HAS DONE TO MAKE HIM FLEE AND DISSENGAGE...
BUT WE DO HAVE PROOF, VOICEMAILS, TEXTS ETC...
AND WE DONT THINK ITS TIME TO SHOVE IN HER FACE WHAT THE MOTHER HAS DONE, SHES STILL 16...BUT ITS COMING...:)
When we finally stopped
When we finally stopped covering for BM, SS14 started to have revelations with us about things she said or did. It was almost 6 months after we started telling him the truth, that he came to us and said he no longer wanted to live with her. 6 months after that, he is full-time here and now since July, doing great. He has consistency now and BM is not putting him last and SD 1st. He now only sees her about once a month for dinner and only if he wants to and he schedules it directly with the witch.
She is 16...Plenty old enough
She is 16...Plenty old enough to know the truth. Just give her the facts. Don't be mean or malicious, just tell her the truth. I have no problem at this age showing emails. We did when BM's DH sent a threatening text to my husband. He finally saw him for the trash that he was. He had idolized him before. Now he saw what we had been dealing with. We told him when BM accused SS of lying to us about some things with SD and BM. He got very upset and that led to her relationship with him falling apart.
I have no problem telling a child the truth once they are at least 13. How long do you cover for the PAS? We couldn't stop it with SD because honestly we didn't see it until it was too late. But, DH was damn sure going to make sure it didn't happen with SS.
Ha ha I would also like to
Ha ha I would also like to know how to make it so SD does not want to come over anymore........
I also want to know how to
I also want to know how to get SS to spend more time with BM instead of being in my house.
Because she is a victim of mommy's PASing activities
Not rocket science. This is why I don't care about the why, I care about the what. The what is how do the players in the blended family game behave.
If they comply with reasonable standards of behavior... I work with them. If they chose not to comply with reasonable standards of behavior... I bring the pain. It sounds to me that your DH has done this with BM so she is PASing the Skid rather than taking continued runs at your DH.
So now it is time for DH to confront the Skid's unacceptable behavior. I would suggest sitting the 16yo down and doing a detailed review of the CO so that the Skid can see exactly what is required. DH should show that he is in compliance with everything in the CO and he should also show where BM is not in compliance or is manipulating the process in an attempt to get more than the CO stipulates.
DH should also point out to the Skid that BM filling the kid's head with toxic crap is wrong and a Judge would not take kindly to learning of BM's toxic manipulations of the situation.
This is a 16yo not a 6yo and she is far past old enough to have the facts.
The beauty of facts is that they are neither good nor bad. They are merely facts. And as such they put manipulators in a very difficult position.
Parental Alienation
Have your dh research Parental Alienation Syndrome. Sounds like your SD is on this path and it is hell!
A 2 month break wow!!
I’m with the father and the almost 16 year old boy LIVES with us. He’s lazy, rude, disrespectful, entitled, lies, etc. Last year we had a HUGE blow out with him where he snapped. Screaming how much he hated me and my dog, singing how he was going to kill people, slamming into walls, throwing things, etc. He and I got along great until I started expecting him to have structure and clean up after himself in the house. He’s been very disrespectful toward his dad regarding the same matters. Only his dad babies it and I won’t. He’ll make up excuses why he didn’t or couldn’t clean his room and his dad just walks away without the kid ever having consequences.