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Excuses, excuses and more excuses

Frustrated816's picture

SD15 has now taken and failed the written portion of the driver's exam 4 times! After the first two fails she and DH blamed the test questions for being poorly written now after failures 3 and 4 DH believes she may have a learning disability are you effing kidding me?!? This is the same kid who has had straight A's all through school and was in advanced classes last year. How about she just didn't study enough? Every time SD does something wrong or doesn't do something there is an excuse and DH is right there to back her up. My own BD12 keeps asking why SD isn't accountable for anything. This kid is good, she has DH completely fooled. She's in a new school district this year (to be fair it is a harder district than she was in before) and isn't doing as we'll as she had in the past but she has DH convinced that she studies 3 hours a night? DH is a detective for the police dept. and never home so he actually buys the bs even when I tell him that she's constantly on her phone and Facebook. Unfortunately she's manipulative enough that shortly before DH is due home she will turn off the tv and pull out the books. Not sure how much longer I can take this.

RedWingsFan's picture

I'd disengage at this point. She's old enough to know the consequences for her actions, let her fail and never get her driver's license. Not your fault, and if dear daddy wants to keep his head buried in the sand and blame everyone but his daughter, that's his problem!

The smartest person in the world came up with this quote that I've seen others here use:

NOT MY KID = NOT MY PROBLEM!

Nana2's picture

I feel for you. Been there done that. My SD never studied although we told her she had to. She kept telling us she had no homework. When we went to parent/teacher night they said they didn't really hand out homework either. So we believed her. She tells us now after the fact that she lied to us. She's been friggen lying to us for a long time about a lot of things and she's proud of it. Go figure. SK's are not my cup of tea. Would never, NEVER do this over again. My only concilation is that SD is 18 and going into the army which I hope she get's her *ss kicked by the army for her smart mouth!

Best to you. Try to disengage. I tried it and it didn't work. I had DH fighting against me on it all the way through.

Frustrated816's picture

At least you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been reading about disengaging just trying to figure out how to keep my mouth shut. SD lives with us full time and hasn't seen her mom in 6 yrs. Every time I try to pull back DH pushes me right back in. When he asked me a dumb question about her last night I told him that since I have no say in the big stuff to quit asking me about the little stuff. He got really pissed and stormed off, we'll see how this plays out. Glad to hear you we're able to survive your SD!

smarmy's picture

AGH gotta love the excuses!!

SS9 whines cries and pouts about every little thing because he is a "gifted" child so that excuses him crying about everything!

Lauren B's picture

I always ask,"3483847 (however many million drivers on the road) passed and you couldn't? What's wrong with YOU? Did they cheat? They must've all cheated. Are they ALL smarter than you? Did they have a different test? They must have given you the harder one. No? I'm sorry, they must have all passed it on their 5th time too?"

Ugh, teenagers and their "poor me" syndrome. And UGH to the BMs/BDs who exacerbate the issue.

My fSD15 thinks all teachers MUST be out to get her because she can't pass the test/class. They ALL hate her and fail her ON PURPOSE. They single her out, of course. "Did all of the other students fail, too? Did you have a different test than them?"

She then does the whole "I'm so stupid," game and gets BM and fDH to feel bad for her so they throw a fit with the school. Tried to file for IEP multiple times because "she has a learning problem." Funny how 3 principals, numerous guidance counselors and teachers have DENIED the IEP because guess what?! She doesn't have a learning problem, and she's not stupid. She's just lazy. Period.

How about your lack of studying and lack of overall effort? Hmm. Couldn't possibly be the issue.

icanttakeit's picture

Three more years, three more years, three more years...

Ugh. I love excuses. Fortunately my husband doesn't usually fall for them. Unfortunately my skids received the "stupid" gene from BM, so they screw up a lot. But it is usually pretty easy to tell when they're making excuses vs. when they don't get it because they are dumb.

I agree with curlysue's "naturaly consequences". She will eventually get jealous of her driving friends and buckle down. As far as the rest of her excuses, well, three more years...