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Tired of the Negative Nancies!

love him_loath his kid's picture

Submitted by love him_loath ... on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:14pm

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General Discussion

First off let me say that the majority of the members on this site have been very helpful if not by offering advice but some just by sharing stories and listening to me vent about my situation, however I have noticed a few negative nancies...anyone else experienced this?

While I have only been on this forum for a short period I have noticed that some members are much more helpful and understanding than others...I wish there was a "block user" option so we would not have to listen to people be negative and bitter. When people post stuff on here I believe its to vent and to seek possible advice not bash people and TRY TO MAKE THEM FEEL WORSE THAN THEY MIGHT ALREADY. It gets old when you post stuff and then someone writes "leave" or "you just don't like what I'm saying because it isn't in aggreance with you" um no I don't need or want anyone to agree with me as I'm an adult and can make my own decisions but it would be nice if people could go old school and remember that IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY PERHAPS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!! I'm all for suggestions even if they may be opposite of what I think but I believe that can be done in a tactful way. Telling someone to just "leave" their relationship isn't really a solution!

Just sayin'

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:17pm

She said "agreeance!"

LOLOLOLOL!!!

(And didn't spell it correctly.)

OP, sorry you don't get enough warm fuzzies here.

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:55pm

Hey, now. we were just conversating here. Don't loose it people.
Irregardless, I could care less about grammar & punctuation.

(JK- I'm an English nut!)

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:21pm

um no telling someone to leave their relationship IS a solution. It's not the only answer, but it is one option.

Sometimes leaving someone who is not making you happy, not supporting you or even abusing you IS the best thing to do.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:31pm

Yes, I love people who come here and say the equivalent of, "My husband is emotionally abusive and a lazy parent, and expects me to pick up all the slack for the SKs, who disrespect me. How can I get them to change?"

And then get very angry when you tell them, "you can't get them to change, put up with it, or leave."

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:59pm

Sure we can get them to change! Pack up your bags & leave that shit behind! Then change will be imminent.

Perfectly reasonable solution. One I've considered numerous times, the ultimate solution to my smom woes... }:)

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:27pm

I second that notion that "most of us are bitter already!" Sadly, we learn from our skids how to have a thick skin. It's a tough gig.

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:25pm

Wellll, my mom coined the phrase.... }:)

She said, "YOU tell your DH it's time to put on his "Daddy Pants" and deal with the skids!"

But when I refer to his actual underwear, rest assured, I DO call them panties. IT makes him mad. }:)

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:35pm

they can go to "steps for stepmothers" if they want all the "only say nice things" bullshit, as if steplife is so nice to live.

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 3:05pm

Okay. Who's next? What verse do we sing this time?

DH is in denial, Lord?

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 3:09pm

I promise, after Kumbaya, we'll do Soft Kitty. We can even do a rendition in the "round" style.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 3:27pm

I was going to go in a totally different direction to the soft kirry question. Hypovic put up that photo earlier, and now it's burned into my head. Your explanation saved me from embarrassing myself, heehee.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:34pm

"IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY PERHAPS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!! "

Mayhaps, you should think about taking your OWN advice.

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:07pm

This Step-mom gig isn't all rainbows & sunshine & roses....

Here- I printed this off for my poison-tongued SD. I liked it.

T- is it True?
H- is it Helpful
I- is it Inspiring
N- is it Necessary?
K- is it Kind?

Think before you speak.

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 3:23pm

You forgot to add "Step-by-Step" to written instructions for getting dressed.

Maybe I'm the reason SD has such attitude.
I distinctly remember making some of these very same statements....

Very good. }:)

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:10pm

I'm tired of genocide, world hunger, human rights atrocities, and the high cost of gas. Messages I don't agree with on a public internet forum, not so much.

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:10pm

This step-gig sucks ass. I see what you're all saying now--it's hard to think of anything nice to say when it comes to stepparenting. No wonder this site is so full of "negative nancies."

IronRose's picture

Submitted by IronRose on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:18pm

Because we are bitter? Abused? Treated poorly? Come in 2nd place behind spoiled SCs?
Are shit on by BMs? Despised by MILs? Etc..... Add your own to the list....

Oh yeah, you bet smoms have 100's of reasons to be negative. It's a shit job with very few benefits.

THIS IS WHY WE COME OFF NEGATIVE!!!!

sunbeam0901's picture

Submitted by sunbeam0901 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:12pm

How can one be a step-parent but not have thick enough skin to withstand the criticism of strangers on an internet forum?! :O

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:18pm

If anyone thinks there are negative people on this site, they need to try out the parenting boards on other sites. Those in which the kids do absolutely nothing wrong and if you're not carrying them around everyone and catering to every whimper, cry, whine, tantrum, you are not fit enough to raise such lovelies.

I got eaten alive when I was on a specific parenting board! I mean, it was brutal. I had one woman tell me to just live separately from my husband I'd just married weeks prior so his little 'baby' (SD14) would have her 'daddy' back. Yeah ok sure...

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:25pm

I definitely could not handle the soft, catering, coddling parenting boards. I didn't coddle my own BD and can't stand the expectation that I'm suppossed to cater to SD. Guess I'll stay here with the "bitter strangers."

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 4:40pm

Ok, I will just go buy some cans of green beans, stock up on $10 bills and sing Soft Kitty in the corner whilst in the fetal position. Because if not for being able to vent here... I am going to lose (or loose) my ever-loving mind. IRREGARDELSS of the fact that it is a VENTING site.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 5:09pm

Awe steperg... the good ol' days.

I think we
should all post
like this in
her honor and
make mashed taters
for dinner toni
ght.