SD just turned 15 and has new 17yo boyfriend
:jawdrop:
Am I crazy or is this super inappropriate? She just turned 15, Isn't coming around much so FDH feels he has no say. Her mom lets her date and give her and him rides to go out or to and from eachothers houses. I know her mom isn't around too much but not sure what her schedule is. When I said I think she's too young to date IMO and what does a 17 yo want with a 15yo??? DUH get her ass on BIRTHCONROL
My FDH came to her defense and said what were you doing at 15??? UMMMMM not dating a 17 year old, my parents would NOT let me date and I was NOT having sex (he did agree on the sex and birth control part) And he just said, she's at her moms, her mom lets her, there's nothing I can do..........WOW
Am I being old fashioned? I just keep thinking she was only 14 3 months ago.......
I was a 15yr old and dated a
I was a 15yr old and dated a 17yr old...I was a sophmore, he was a senior...He was the most respectable gentleman I have EVER met. Heck, even my ex-husband who was a jealous freak ended up liking the guy when he met him years later at my sister's wedding. I do NOT think age has anything to do with it, what matters is what type of girl she is and what type of guy he is. If she's a little loose, she will be that way wether the guy is 15 or 17. And even if the guy is a nut, if she is not a loose girl, odds are she will be ok...
Now loser was 14 dating an 18yr old and they were both losers...thus the reason she was preggo by 15.
And in case you weren't aware, boys mature MUCH LATER than girls...so this is not like he's some freak looking for a young girl...
Nope, you're not being old
Nope, you're not being old fashioned, but after my experience with SD14 having sex with her 13 yr old boyfriend last spring, you may be a bit out of touch with today's teenage reality.
My DD14 hasn't lost her virginity yet, but she tends to hang around the older kids, since she's more mature and appears to be 16-17 herself. I trust her judgment and she definitely tells me that she won't do it until she's really ready and really prepared.
SD14 on the other hand, is very immature for her age and when she couldn't be a mini wife to DH anymore, turned to boys for all the attention and affection. She also has phone sex, was caught sexting and sending NASTY and I mean, NASTY pornographic style messages to her boyfriend. At THIRTEEN. Yes, 13!
She's at her mom's full-time now too, since we actually have rules, boundaries and discipline at our place. And my DH says the same thing - it's on her mom's shoulders now. We've tried everything we could to educate this girl on STD's, teen pregnancy, the dangers and risks of having sex at such a young age, and she ignored us. Went screaming back to her mom's. Mom has no rules, no boundaries. Lets boyfriend come over unsupervised as long as there's another friend there as well. Yes, setting her up for disaster, but what else can DH do?
He made it perfectly clear to SD and her mother that if SD went to live with mom full-time, it's all on mom's shoulders to take care of her medically, physically, mentally and emotionally. She took that on and so be it. If the kid ends up pregnant, so be it. We're not responsible.
Good luck with yours. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with stepdevil anymore. She made my life and our relationship HELL!
I feel like we are in the
I feel like we are in the same situation! I'm not sure about sexting etc but it would not surprise me she's on every social network there is and blocks all family members so they can't see what she writes, I know she experiments with weed and alcohol, she's been caught, hospitalized and admited the drug use. I've been telling FDH since she turned 14 to talk to her about sex and birthcontrol, he did and she denied being sexually active. I'm sure she is now or will be very soon.
I have made it very clear, IF she get's pregnant she WILL NOT live in our home and we will not take care of her kids, we already have her siser and her 2 kids at our house SD20 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. That will be the death of our relationship I'm so serious. Her mom wants to let her do whatever then her mom can live with the repercussions. I hope for SD15 she doesn't get pregnant but I don't have much faith in her at this point.....
FDH will be heartbroken and will want to be there for her in anyway possible so it's a lose-lose
While I agree with DH being
While I agree with DH being heartbroken, he can't prevent it if SD isn't even listening to him.
If she gets pregnant and your DH is going to let her move in, I'd move out. Not sure why you have a TWENTY yr old and her 2 kids living with you either. I'd have put my foot down and told DH there's no way in Hell that's happening. If he insisted on moving his daughter and her children in, I'd be gone.
Again, life is way too short to live unhappily and taking care of someone else's kids. I've disengaged totally, 100% from SD14 and am super happy she's no longer with us anymore every other week. DH isn't happy, but he acknowledges the fact that SD has her head up her mom's ass and he doesn't want to be around her anymore because of that. She lies, she manipulates, she's lazy, dirty, eats like a pig, talks disgusting like a porn star, and believes she and her mother do no wrong.
I agree with having friends
I agree with having friends and being supervised, like no closed bedroom doors and laying in bed together etc but bc we are so out of the loop I have no idea what is going on I DO know they are not being supervised all the time......
I have no idea about him, But
I have no idea about him, But what I do know is SD15 dresses like a huge skank- super short shorts, short dresses, belly shirts and she is pretty and knows it. Her dad and I have asked her to change her clothes before because it was straight hoochie. Once again her mom is fine with her dressing that way so bc she dresses provacatively it makes me wonder what she/they are up too.
My FDH is 10 years older then me, we are a great match so it's not that I'm against age difference I just think that the ages 15 and 17 between a girl and a young man are huge........and I don't trust her one bit
When DH made a comment to SD
When DH made a comment to SD and BM that he felt the same situation was inappropriate, SD pursued suing us to live with BM. He is right, he can't do a damn thing about it. BTDT and have the damn t-shirt.
It's so frustrating that he
It's so frustrating that he is the other ACTIVE biological parent and he has no say in anything!!!!!
I'm all for birthcontrol-
I'm all for birthcontrol- I've even offered to DH that I would take her is she was embarrassed to go with him or her mom (that was last year) Hopefully she will get on it........I'm not that old either and I remember but she's way different then I was at that age and thats what scares me about her........
SD14 wanted to be put on
SD14 wanted to be put on birth control but we later found out that she just wanted to brag to all her little MIDDLE SCHOOL (yes, she's 14 and still in 8th grade) friends that her parents put her on birth control pills. She never intended on taking them anyway. Waste of air, that girl.
Yep, but NOT MY KID, NOT MY
Yep, but NOT MY KID, NOT MY PROBLEM! LOL She wants to get pregnant in MIDDLE SCHOOL, let her. Her mom said she'd make her give it up for adoption anyway. Oh well. Again, she's not my problem.
DH is beside himself with her and his ex. He can't stand his ex and tells her she's doing SD no favors by babying, coddling and acting like her best friend, but ex won't listen. So whatever happens, happens and it's all on her now!
FDH said if SD20 gets
FDH said if SD20 gets pregnant again she's out- she's out in May anyway but he said she better get her ass on Birthcontrol. She got that implant in her arm thats good for 3 years.......Thats what SD15 needs
If it makes you feel better,
If it makes you feel better, DH's just turned 16yo starting dating a 20 year old when she was 15. They stay the night together. Sleep in the same bed at both houses, BM thinks its awesome. They are even stupid enough to post pics of themselves half naked in bed on Twitter.
OMG
OMG
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
Right-and if SD ever gets
Right-and if SD ever gets pregnant, she will NOT be coming to my house. BM made that bed, and she can lay in it with SD.
Thats why I'm on here to gain
Thats why I'm on here to gain some perspective- it is scary! She's so immature! I just hope they are being safe and supervised. The age difference seems big to me just because of the maturity level she is at. The fear of her getting pregnant is whats scaring me the most, but yea, nothin we can do anyway........
I don't think it is a
I don't think it is a different world. 25+ years ago there were plenty of slutty girls in my school...plenty. Today, there are plenty in the schools. 25+ years ago I was NOT one of the slutty girls. Today, my niece who is 18 is NOT one of them. Nowhere near it.
Loser was a slut just like her mother. Her mother 20+years ago was just as slutty as loser is today.
I have in my pre-nup that I
I have in my pre-nup that I will not be responsible in anyway for a grandchild that is not linked to me biologically and the same for DH. Saw the writing on the wall with my SD when she was 12. BM and DH just thought it was funny that she was so social and boy crazy....We will see. 16 and failing most classes and now out of school the last two weeks with Mono. She will be lucky if she graduates.
Funny, I told my FDH the same
Funny, I told my FDH the same thing, I'm outta here- SD20 is on a timeline now and thats too much as it is. I WILL NOT be supportive or help in anyway nor have them live in our home if and when we get married that will be in the pre-nup as well. Did your husband have a problem with that?