Hello all-I really do need some advice, tho I suspect it's just going to confirm what I already think...so, my fiance has 2 kids, son J. just turned 18 & daughter C. just turned 13. He has full custody-BM is a degenerate (3 time felon now) who abandoned C. (who was born 3 weeks premature, & given a 30% chance to live, & 2 months old at the time) on the neighbors' porch to run off w/her boyfriend, so she hasn't been in the picture much (they are forbidden to have any contact w/her, as she's wanted by the law, but more on that in a bit-they have both snuck around & lied to us to talk to her). So the problem is C-SS had the sense to leave us last April, as he could not stand her lying & stealing anymore. DH (we're not married yet but hey, it's shorter) was hurt, but did Nothing. From me, she has stolen everything that isn't nailed down-my Ipod (which she claims was then stolen from her at school-never recovered), my camera (which she broke) several times, makeup, clothes, cell, you name it. Not once has he done anything significant about it (she did get grounded for a month over the Ipod, but that lasted about 3 days). She Claims never to have any homework, so she has all kinds of spare time to be on FB, but none to do her chores. No problem there, according to DH-I'M the irrational one for getting upset about it (I work & go to school, 30-45 minutes drive each way). I take care of all of our animals (4 dogs, 9 cats)and am expected to do the laundry, clean, etc. on top of everything else-neither of them will lift a Finger. I gave up a job making $100-$900 a night to move 1700 miles to be w/them-I was 1 year from graduating-I now make $9.50 an hour & then he has the nerve to wonder why I don't contribute more?
But here's where it gets Really dicey...last fall, she claimed to have been raped while she was smoking pot w/some friends (she was 11 at the time). Naturally he was Devastated, & fell into a funk that lasted for Months-wouldn't touch me either, incidentally. We had to go through the whole judicial process, counseling, etc-to find out it was all a Lie, which she's admitted to Everyone but Him. She lies like other people Breathe-I knew it at the time but of course couldn't say anything...& now for the Grand Finale-I (in a unwarranted fit of genorosity) bought her a camera of her own, thinking it would keep her from stealing Mine-well-she just stole my memory card-I found hers-apparently she's been playing Porn Star, posing half naked, taking pictures of herself & posting them-IN MY F---ING UNDERWEAR!!! Punishment? NONE. Again, I'M irrational for being upset! Isn't kiddie porn ILLEGAL?!? If I report her or say anything to Anyone, he'll throw me out (he tried once already b/cause I called BS on her whole rape deal & he couldn't handle it-we've been trying to work it out since) & I can't afford anyplace right now that would allow the 2 dogs & cats that are Mine (I committed myself to them for Life-I am starting to think these two Ought to be committed!) so I'm kinda SOL. Obviously I can't trust either 1 of them. He has a good side, but I've seen less & less of it. He turns on me like a rabid beast anytime I even bring her up (unless it's to say yes, I'll pick her up from someplace). When she does something wrong, invariably it gets turned around on Me. Am I nuts for staying, or is there some way to salvage this Debacle (we were head over heels in love at 1 point-boy those were the days..!) or should I just take out a loan & leave?