At What Age Do You Let Kids Hang out by Themselves?
This may be off topic but this section did say parenting advice and I don't have any friends that have teenage daughters. My daughter is 14 and now that she is in high school is is wanting to do things with her friends, like go to the movies and spend the night at their house.
At what age did you allow your child to go to the mall/movies by themselves or with a friend?
In the past my rule has been that I have to meet and get to know the parents a little bit before I let my daughter go to their house. This was more so when she was younger. Usually when she's spent the night somewhere it's been at one of my friend's house who has girls her age. So I already know the parents very well so it's not an issue.
Well, D14 has made a new friend and wants to spend the night over at her friend's house. This friend of hers lives with just her dad. Her mother passed away.
Now, I don't want to be all paranoid, but at the same time I want to protect my daughter. Would it be okay to let her spend the night over at someone's house when I know there's going to be a man there?
How much "vetting" do you do of someone's parents before you let your child spend the night at their house?
My daughter (and the
My daughter (and the stepdevil) is also 14. My daughter is VERY mature for her age and is frequently mistaken for 16 or 17. I've let her spend the night with her friends from age 10 (but yes, I've met the parents prior and have gone over ground rules such as if you see anything inappropriate going on you call me immediately, or if you're uncomfortable at any time, call me and I'll come get you no matter the time).
In the situation you describe above, I'd do the same thing. Just cuz he's a single dad doesn't necessarily mean he's a perv, but I'd meet him ahead of time and just try to get a good feel of his character. Now, with that said, you can NEVER be too careful and people can easily appear to be something they're not.
How do you feel about your daughter's maturity level and her openness to communicate with you? Do you feel comfortable that she'd call you immediately if something were wrong? Do you feel she's mature enough to handle that situation appropriately? That's really what you need to determine.
Thanks, good points. I think
Thanks, good points.
I think if the single father was a co-worker, someone I knew pretty well, I wouldn't have a problem with D14 spending the night. But since this is someone I don't know, I'm a little hesitant. D14 is pretty responsible, but sometimes I wonder if she has aspergers, because she doesn't always have common sense.
I told my D14 that they can go to the movies, but I didn't feel comfortable with her spending the night at their house. Not that I think single fathers are all child molesters, but with D14 I think it's probably best that she not spend the night. Decrease the risk, if you will.
The problem with vetting is
The problem with vetting is that you will never know someone is a perv or molester until your child has a complaint of inappropriate actions. It's normal to think you can sniff these guys out, but you really can't. I have allowed my kids time alone at home at younger ages, increasing the time as they got older. I trust them alone, but don't trust them when they have a friend over. Your daughter is probably trustworthy, but the people she may have contact with may not be.