Is this a death threat from my 14 year old SD?
My DH & I had his two teenage kids over this last week before they started school. We wanted to get them school supplies, clothes, & anything else they may of needed plus a visit. I had to convince my DH to have them here due to past behavioral issues with his daughter. My 17 year old SS is a good kid overall & he has a healthy bond with his dad & I. The problem lies with my 14 year old SD soon to be 15. My motivation for the visit for the full week was to catch up, update their stuff, & for my DH to not feel this guilty for ditching them most of their summer.
Its been really stressful when dealing with trying to get professional help for my SD. We had her living with us a few years back getting her all the help we could. It all came to an end when she tried to kill my mother & me with a stick of wood. I was able to duck seeing it coming but my mother the next day was not as lucky. My mother ended up with a concussion which lasted heavy for three days. SD was brought back to the hospital, they said that there was no room available for her at that time. My DH sat up all night long to make sure nothing further could happen. We ended up taking her back to her mothers the very next morning.
The BM does not like doctors/trust them, so she says. Well the school stepped in & my SD started getting help. The BM does not give any information to us such as a contact number, whats going on, when she changed doctors, & etc.
On this last visit, my SD was a nightmare. She treated everyone like s***, spiked my food with excess mustard, full of glares, complained about everything it seemed, & made a comment to me that felt disturbing. Also pushed me two times in a store on their way back to their mothers as we were picking them up school clothes. The second time I was pushed & knew without doubt that it was on purpose, I pushed her back even harder & said "Don't be pushing me around", looked at her dad saying his name & stated "Deal with your daughter". I then walked away. Everyone around heard it all & my DH did a great job correcting her. She behaved after that thank goodness.
Oh the reason she spiked my sandwich, she claims to her dad that she was mad at her mom & claimed to me that she was jealous that her brother was braiding my hair the night before & she wanted to do it but we wouldn't listen to her. Well she was doing my hair before her brother was but I wanted it french braided & she just brushed it, put it into a pony then ripped it out. The comment that disturbed me was said before I had her tell her father the truth as to why she spiked my food. That is because he was at work when everything happened.
Is this a death threat from my 14 year old SD?
I'm doing the dishes one afternoon with no drama happening at the time until my SD approaches me. She walks up to me, pushes her finger in on my temple saying "Did you know that if a person taps on your temples here three times really hard that it can kill you?" I stepped back & before I could reply..her brother tells her otherwise. This came completely from out of the blue. When she has lashed out physically speaking on a person in the past, its been when things are going normal. This too was the same day of the sandwich spiking thing but after it was handled & we all were doing our own thing.
Wow. There's a lot of putting
Wow. There's a lot of putting your hands on each other. Pushing, shoving, temple pushing... what would happen if everyone just kept their hands to themselves?
No, I don't think it's a death threat. She's a pompous little know-it-all, but I don't think she was threatening to kill you.
Teenage SDs are THE WORST, imo.
Yes I do agree that people
Yes I do agree that people should keep their hands to themselves. I have been physically attacked several years now & I never once before laid a finger on her. We all have tried to teach her to keep her hands to herself yet nothing has ever made her think twice about it. I'm getting pushed around for looking at a shirt or a pair of jeans. She needs to know that she cant keep pushing people around & they wont defend themselves. This girl is already bigger then I am by almost 20 lbs. She even believes she has the right to push other customers that are in the store. SD is smart enough to avoid her age peers for they will defend themselves & that is the only reason why SD goes after younger kids, animals, & adults.
After the last violent issue
After the last violent issue to you and your mom yeah I'd consider her always a threat even if she just intends to hurt someone they can still die from it. Dh shouldn't feel guilt you shouldn't do anything for this little ball of crazy and never be alone with her like get a bodyguard
SD14 sounds as if she is
SD14 sounds as if she is behaving like a much younger child, and one that does not have all her paddles in the water, at that. I agree, if DH doesn't want her around, I wouldn't be advocating for her, that's for sure.
I seriously do NOT understand
I seriously do NOT understand why, if your DH....her own father....doesn't want her around...why the hell would YOU want her around????
Do not try to get involved in
Do not try to get involved in this. You may be worried about SD's feelings or worried that your DH is doing the "wrong" thing.
These are his choices and he needs to make them. Most of us have tried to "fix" things in these relationships and it was the wrong thing to do.
Let him decide what he wants to do
I"m so sorry as it seems I
I"m so sorry as it seems I may have mislead some of you to believe that my DH is not a caring, loving, father. He is a very devoted dad to his kids although his daughter has drained him of a "normal" dads love. DH has tried, frantically, for many years to have a close relationship with both of his kids. With his son, there is a healthy bond but daughter continually tests him & hurts the people that he loves. This is why he is so torn as to what to do. He has tried doctors, hospitals, therapists, school officials, friends, family, social services, & even the local police. At her mothers home... social services, police, & school officials were involved due to DH seeking help for his daughter.
Because of all the bad behavior, negative attitude, & especially the criminal activities, I was actually afraid to have her around here near my mom, friends & their kids, animals, & myself. SD seems to use me for her biggest target. With all said & done, DH was not able to spend the summer with his kids like he wanted. He has lost a lot because of his daughters behavior & yet he still has the guilt of not being in their lives like he desires to. Due to this fact, he becomes severely depressed at times. DH is between a rock & a hard place. NOW DH has come to the hard decision that his daughter NEEDS to be in a Group Home environment.
My husband feels guilt about
My husband feels guilt about his feelings toward his daughter as well. She lies, manipulates, uses drugs, and just gives off a bad vibe. We didn't see her for three weeks and it was alike a vacation. He feels bad because he loves her, but doesn't like her...that puts extreme guilt on a parent.
I agree with the above
I agree with the above comment. I woulnd't let her around me or anyone else if she physically tried to hurt me or my family in ANY way, shape, or form. That is really serious behavior - to me, it's unforgivable.
Holy Toledo Batman that girl
Holy Toledo Batman that girl would never darken my door again. Spouses kid or not I'm not sleeping wondering if I'll be concussed in the morning. No way Jose.
I'd tell my spouse that if she wants to spend time with that kid to do it elsewhere or it sayanara for me.
Tha tha tha it folks.
Mother of Starla
Mother of Starla (seeingstars) here,
Just wondering if you had a concussion by "a Grand SD" too? I know it is far from a laughing matter but sometimes laughter helps the sad situation. I will be known as "seeingstars" - hopefully not for long!!
Just read your post, laughed at your humor...seems to match mine