Here's the senario:

My husband, his 11 YO son and 15 YO daughter and I went camping one weekend. My husband was with my daughter and a ceramics class and he asked my husband to take his son to the relay games that were scheduled in the campground. I registered him and listed my name as his responsible party. During the awards of these games I'm approached by another parent to tell me "my son" had broken into the campgroun miniature golf course and stolen the golf balls with her son. I ask my SS about this and he shows me the golf balls he had taken. When I asked him about why and how this happened he lied about it and said he found them. I questioned him more and we finally came to the truth. I had been planning some special acitvities the next day for him, things that I would have paid for. I took those two activiies away from him as a punishment and made him return the golf balls to the camp ground owner. I did this since I was the responsible adult for him during these games. I didn't ground him to the camper for the remainder of the weekend, he was free to do the other things in the campground that were free. i just didn't feel right paying for fun things when he had stolen something.

My husband agreed with my approach and supported my efforts. My SD however did not. One of the activities I took away from SS she decided to play and pay for him to play also. she told my husband that I had no right to discipline SS and he didn't have to listen to me. she also said that i did not take "her" into consideration when punishing SS. One of the things scheduled was something she wanted to do. She didn't want to do it alone so she said SS should be permitted to do it regardless of what he did wrong.

My issue is DH has not talked to SD about this. He was more concerned about her being angry with him than the disrespect she showed to me.

So here's my question. We are scheduled to go camping again this weekend. DH wants me to go because it's easier for him when I do. I can cook for them and clean up after them and help pay for things is really what he's saying. SD likes my cooking and complains when DH has to do the cooking. My thoughts are that I don't go. It's a lesson for both of them. DH will need to take care of things himself if I'm not around.

My other issue is I'm having a difficult time even being in the same room with SD right now. If DH would just address this issue and let her know when I'm around I am the adult, not her things might be better. What SS did was wrong. I was only trying to help teach him something important.

Any thoughts or imput for my upcoming travel??? How do I tell DH I don't want to go and why without causing a huge fight. I want to send a message but I don't want to turn it into world war three.

Thanks for listening........