Being new to this website and the stepmom to my bf's 3 boys, I'm feeling a little like the lunatics are running the asylum.

My bf has twin 8 year old and an 11 year old. The BM is a system worker, you name the state, federal resource she is getting it. Me, I work for everything I have. So I resent that she gets her electric paid by the state and I'm working like crazy so I can afford to turn on my air conditioner. But, I'm in need of serious advice about the kids...

According to the BM all three boys have an immature bladder. So all 3 wear pull ups to bed. Last summer my bf's step mom tried to night train the boys and it was starting to work until the older son didnt want to do it any longer and had a fit. Now the boys are not allowed at their home any longer. I personally think it's pure laziness on the bm's side not wanting to wake the boys up to use the bathroom in the night. And she can use this to show that she has 3 disabled children so she doesn't have to work. My 11yo ss had behavioral issues in school and was put into a special education school. It was so sad seeing all of these true special needs kids the clearly needed the resources of this school and his 11 year old that is in serious need of a good kick in the pants. He lies, he manipulates and she claims he's special needs, but leaves him alone in the house watching his younger brothers and allows him to watch South Park. All 3 have the biggest potty mouths I've ever heard on children. We took one of the twins to an amusement park and he said, in a crowed park "the lines I are too effin long in this place" we promptly left, but my bf promised him candy and bought it for him before leaving the park. I was fuming.

I'm also having hygiene issues with them. Aside of the fact that all 3 boys wear pull ups to bed, I'm having poopie issues too.. I'm not sure which one is doing it, but they will use the toilet and instead of using toilet paper I'm finding poop streaks on my sink and towels and a turd in the toilet. I hate using my main bathroom when they are over and use the one in my master bedroom.

They constantly have their fingers up their nose, I'm finding boogers on my walls (it's taking the paint off my walls) on my furniture.

They are the worst eaters ever. All they want to eat is junk food. They are hungry for junk, but put real food in front of them it will take them an hour of begging and negotiating to get them to eat. I just bought the home my bf and I are living in, he gives me $$ toward the mortage, but with his child support and payments to the BM there isn't much left for him to live on. I buy the groceries, so the rule we came up with is if they don't finish their dinner they don't get dessert and I'll wrap it up and they have to eat it for breakfast, they are telling me that this is child abuse and I am treating them like pigs. They use the term "child abuse" liberally. I've tried explaining to them that it's not nice to say that especially in public where people can hear because they could be taken away from their mom and dad.

Another issue is the visitation schedule. We are supposed to get them every other weekend, but on the bm's whims that can change. She's pretty ok when we have plans and need to change our dates, but it seems she changes the weekends more then us and I'm never really sure when we are going to have the kids so it makes it hard for me to make plans in my own home. I've discussed this with my bf and told him it bothers me. Hopefully this is something we can work out.

Next month he's off for a week and all three boys are going to be staying with us. Since they can't go to visit his father and step mom because of the BM. I don't have the week off and I'm really not comfortable leaving them alone in my home without me being there. I'm afraid they are going to break something or ruin my new furniture. I can't tell my bf not to bring his kids that week so I feel resentful and upset with the whole situation. We had one child for two days each this week and I jut about lost my mind between the tantrum, the whining the not wanting to eat. How am I supposed to deal with 3 for an entire week without losing my mind????