Adult SKs who come here seeking advice from SPs...
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What do you think about this? I think that although we may disagree with them, it's commendable that they come here to seek the other perspective, so to speak. A lot of adult SKs, it seems, don't have the maturity to do that.
It is ALWAYS a good thing to
It is ALWAYS a good thing to attempt to see the POV of others, especially if they are the "other side" of a conflict.
Hopefully there is someone here with a healthy adult SP/SK relationship. Maybe. We can hope.
While I can respect that they
While I can respect that they are looking for other POV's, some of them chose to stay & engage (debate) in our blogs/posts which I personally do not appreciate.
If they need advice, great...make your post, get advice & move on...no need to give SM's on here their input.
IMHO, of course
I agree in that I've also
I agree in that I've also seen lots of these people stick around to give us more grief. And what they don't know is lots of us here are SKs too and have been for many years.
I would be shocked if YSD
I would be shocked if YSD would come here for feedback because that would mean she let go of her all knowingness for a moment.
I agree completely about the
I agree completely about the entitlement levels. They're off the charts with many people in my age group (I'm 33). And it also extends to many people I know whose parents never divorced.
I've had to cut people out of my life who are filled to the brim with entitled attitudes. They are takers and drainers. Some of my friends decided to cut their parents, SPs and/or other people they dislike out of their lives. And they made clean cuts. They don't do b*tch slaps, or ask for cash. And I can continue to have high respect for them. But I've cut contact with people who cannot decide to either work out the problems with those they're having them with, or cut them loose. Why would you want to have any contact with people whom you hate or are really angry at? The behavior of your SDs and so many others just puzzles me.
I have been in one form of therapy or another since I was a kid. Almost every therapist said the exact same things you wrote. Applying them to my life has made me much happier.
Once again StepAside, very
Once again StepAside, very well said.
Yes, this. Every last word of
Yes, this. Every last word of it.
We could turn this around and
We could turn this around and ask if any SP on this site has the desire to go on a site where stepkids want to vent. There would be those of us who want a better understanding of why our skids react to us, possibly to see a different point of view. But before visiting this site we would have to realize that most of the posters believe steps should be number one in DH's life, SM should sometimes suck it up and have compassion for the pain and lack of control they went through as a result of their parents' divorce. On the other hand, when skids read "Steptalk - where stepparents come to vent it should give them an idea of our general perpective on the SM / Skid relationship. What would be the motive for it? From what I've experienced with the skids who visit this site, many of them ask for our view but do not seem to want our advice. In fact, some of them have been quite antagonistic. Maybe they get a kick out of ticking us off - same as they do for their SMs.
Whilst I know the philosophy
Whilst I know the philosophy of the site is to exclude no-one, I do find it very odd when posters are not step-parents or at least parents. There was one recently who had problems with her boyfriend's over-controlling parents, who virtually appeared to invent a stepchild in order to post. Then there are the adult skids seeking step-parental viewpoints. Seems to me they can read about the viewpoints without starting their own thread, and make their own deductions. I find the request for viewpoints to be very demanding, given that anyone reading this from an objective viewpoint would realise pretty soon that all the step-parents posting here tend to feel ripped off and put-upon to a degree. Not getting off on the best foot to then demand more attention from us...
Another type of post I really
Another type of post I really don't like is when a SM posts about their other life as a BM in the sense that they ask advice about how to get the BF's new wife to understand their child's needs... whilst it can be a very real concern it just seems a real faux pas to post it on this site...
I do see your point. As a
I do see your point. As a demographic, though, there are a lot of SM's that are also BM's on this site. I'm one of them. While I haven't asked about my Ex's wife on here, I will say I'm guilty of my BM issues sometimes bleeding on to this site. I think it happens a lot with many posters. Is it particularly unwelcome?
No I don't mean generally
No I don't mean generally adding in BM stuff, I do all the time and look at my pic! Not, it's when a poster says "How can I get my ex's new wife to acknowledge/tend to my birth child's needs" that I feel a bit narked. Being as the same poster will have been agreeing with everyone else earlier about how it is a drag when BMs do this to SMs generally.
Ah. Gotcha. I also scratch my
Ah. Gotcha. I also scratch my head a little when people post that they want their kids' SM to butt out.
(Although I have posted that my daughter resents, as do I, when the SM she has only met a couple times butts in and tries to parent her from across the country...but I digress
. Oh, and it's perfectly believable that many of our ExH's have married, um, less than pleasant people }:) )
Indeed. I have that yet to
Indeed. I have that yet to look forward to, if I ultimately divorce spineless DH!!!
I'd ask that they go post
I'd ask that they go post elsewhere with others who share their concerns.