First SD (lives 3.5 hours away) acts like my son is a mental nutcase with no sense of discipline and goes ape when he's at her home because his social cues aren't very mature (from ADHD and Aspberger's yet he's highly intelligent like Albert Einstein per the child psychiatrist and based on IQ tests, school grades, large above grade level vocabulary, etc.). She tends to compare my son to her 11 year old daughter but my son has never had to be held back in school, he's just emotionally immature but it's getting better with age. First SS has never met him because he and my DH have been estranged 3.5 years. Second SS is fine with him as my son plays well with his two girls and is considerate at his home. 2nd SD has never been around him so that's up in the air. She has 5 kids with a couple close to his age so we'll see but she lives out of state. 3rd SD gets a lot of flack from my son as he is jealous of her and the baby coming over so much and he knows she asks us for money a lot. One day my son told YSD that she should go home! Third SS used to "hate" kids but now at 19 years old is "in love" with a senior girl in high school and is thinking marriage and kids one day. We haven't seen him in over 6 months even though he lives close because his head is up his girlfriend's rear pleasing her and he favors his mother as a "hero." In all honesty my son is like me. He prefers none of the stepchildren come visit our home but that we meet them at their homes or out to eat so our time with them is limited to just a few hours and not a long afternoon or evening.

My DH goes with us to my deceased husband's burial site. He's the photographer! It isn't easy for him to watch our sadness at the cemetery but it's no different than me feeling the sting of him having been divorced TWICE and how he's had two families with children involved be completely torn apart. My son and I say a few short statements about what his dad meant to him and to me, then we tell him Happy (name the holiday or occasion) and leave after a few moments of silence. Being it's a national veterans cemetery holidays are crowded. I get sad seeing all the new vets buried each day going in to our section. My DH really resents his exes for breaking up their homes because he sees the effect it's had on the children and how it's made his relationship with them strained and almost non-existent for some. He went from being idolized to having the exes badmouth him and putting the image of deadbeat dad in his kids' minds. DH tries to kill them with kindness to make up for the divorces he never wanted but it isn't working for him. I tell him to let the children come to him and if he didn't make the calls or text messages, he'd see the truth more clearly like I do. The proof is on our cell phone bill, trust me.

Me (41). DH (turns 54 late November). Married since May 2007. DS (9) from my 1st marriage where that husband is deceased. I have 6 grown stepchildren who do not live with us. 4 biological and 2 my DH helped raise with his 2nd wife.