ss8 SHIT his pants at the pool yesterday!
:jawdrop: good god almighty I wish I was telling you all a lie....sitting around at the pool, and I thank that God I previously mentioned that Dad was at teh pool with us yesterday.....skid comes running over to us to tell us that he 'accidentally forgot that he had to go to the bathroom'....so dad was like 'duhh, well then go'....but i knew by the word 'accidentally' that he shit himself, so i turned from my seat and watched him run toward the bathroom and saw shit all over his ass!!!!! We were sitting in a circle at the pool with all of our friends and I was like "omg he has shit allover himself" to dad and told dad to run after him and go clean him the heck up!!!!
Thee most horrifyingly embarrassing thing I think i have ever been party to. none of our friends said anything to us thank god but i had to be blood red!
So, here's my big 'fear' or question for you all: what the HELL would I have done if this had happened on saturday, or on a weekday, when i'm at the pool with my 2 kids and skid without dad cuz he's at work?????? there is no way in the world that i'm ever, under any circumstances, cleaing up that kid's shitty ass. that's taking stepmom duties to a whole new level that i'm not willing to do. The kid is 8 for chris'sake, how did this even happen?
OMG! From the sound of
OMG! :jawdrop: From the sound of your blog, I guess your SS isn't "special" in any way...that is just mortifying! I have NO idea how I would react if SS9 or SD8 did that...no idea!
In the future, I would be a potty nazi...seriously! Constantly, prior to leaving "SS, do you need to use the bathroom", "SS, go use the toilet", "SS, we are going swimming...don't want any accidents, we aren't leaving until you POTTY!"
Just...wow!
stepson is autistic, but
stepson is autistic, but certainly doesn't go around shitting himself on a daily basis!
Its laziness they wait until
Its laziness they wait until the last minute, I am forever washing shit stained pants, because Sd6 waits until the last minute, thankfully I won't have to do that anymore, Im leaving for a happier life.
This sucks. But I have to
This sucks. But I have to say that it is absolutely sad that so many think that this is just pure laziness. Sorry, it is not. NO KID ENJOYS being different, made fun of, pooping in their pants. Really, NO kid does. There is definitely an issue here and it needs to be addressed...but taking it as "he's just lazy" , as someone else posted, is just wrong.
I am appalled that kids who have "special needs" are treated the same as those who don't. It is sad, sad, sad. These kids do NOT need more stress in their lives. If you can't handle a special needs kid, then you really need to move on. It is one thing to expect less of them, ie. talking back, not cleaning a room, etc...just because they are special needs. No, they should be taught the same things...but there are MANY issues that they cannot control, that are controlled by a thousand other things and it is abusive to expect so much of them.
While many kids have
While many kids have accidents due to health, many more have accidents due to laziness &/or waiting until the last possible second to use the bathroom.
Yes, children don't generally like being different...this doesn't stop ALL of them from doing what is necessary to prevent them from being different. It is what it is. The school nurse at SS's school (when he was 7) told me that they have LOADS of clothes of different sizes for kids that "wait to long to use the facilities"...SS needed spare clothes one day, other kids do to. It happens.
I asked if he was special needs because from her blog, it didn't sound like it. If he was, the response would have been FAR different.
So, what is it that you think
So, what is it that you think is the issue? that he's autistic? That I should be OK with him shitting his pants at the pool? Cuz i'm not ok with it. Here's the full story:
Ever since I moved in with fiancee and took on stepkid, i took on his laundry. every pair of underpants was always covered in shitstains. if he doesn't wear underpants, shitstains get in his shorts. I of course thought this was a problem so i addressed it with the pediatrician. Here's what they said:
He is HOLDING IN HIS BOWEL MOVEMENTS UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE and is therefore causing LEAKAGE from his bowels. NOT "oh he's autistic so he can't help himself"....said he's constipated, put miralax in his food and drinks and this will stop happening......so, that's what we did. Was careful with the dosage, and there were certainly a few occasions where I saw that kid stop everything and run to the bathroom to poop....and the stains stopped.
Dad, in his infinite wisdom chose to disagree with the doctors. he seems to think that because the kid has poor gross and fine motor skills, that he was simply a poor wiper. So, we stopped the miralax and the shitstains started again.
What happened yesterday was a full on "SHIT MYSELF" episode which I have never in the past THREE years ever seen happen (unless of course he was sick with a flu or something like that and farted and some poop came out...totally normal). Therefore, since he lives his life every other day NOT shitting himself, we can deduce from this that the kid knows when he has to take a shit and can make it to a toilet to do so WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM!
So, special needs or not....this kid hasn't shit himself in the 3 years i've known him, so why the HELL should I be OK with the fact that he did it yesterday?
oh good god, a 14 yr old
oh good god, a 14 yr old peeing himself because of a video game, LOLOLOL...i shouldn't be laughing, that's probably gonna be my life too!!!
I'm laughing over here. OMG.
I'm laughing over here. OMG. hahahahaaa!
I know it's not funny, but the way you wrote it is hilarious. I don't know you, but I can imagine just imagine the sound of your voice if you had been saying this out loud.
Now onto my "opinion":
yes, it was an embarrassing moment. hopefully the kid will have learned that he doesn't want to shit himself in the future and will not wait until it's a last minute emergency to go take a shit in the toilet.
Maybe pick up the book, "Everybody poops"... or something and discuss with the kid what the first "signs" are that he has to take a shit so that he can more easily recognize what's going to happen.
ALSO, frankly, YOU should not be washing his shitty underpants. Leave them to dad to take care of. Maybe once he's up to his elbows in his sons shit he will decide it's time to do something about it. Seriously girl. Please stop.
i just throw the soiled
i just throw the soiled underpants in with dad's wash, i separate them out and never wash them with mine or my kids clothes.....dad asked me once why don't i 'pretreat' the underpants to get the stains out of them....i laughed my ass off OUT LOUD and told him if he think i'm ever touching his son's shit he was out of his fucking mind! Especially since before he lived with me, he used to take his and the kid's laundry to the laundromat for the 'asian ladies' to clean. I would have been so embarrassed for them to see his 8 yr old kids dirty underpants!
He once made the mistake of telling me how THEY got the stains out of his kids underpants........i saved up about 5 pairs of them and put them in a bag for dad and said 'here go take these to the asian ladies to clean'.....he got the point and he buys the kid black underwear now......LMAO!!!!!
totally agree you should not
totally agree you should not be the one to wash his shit on clothes, make daddy do it!
Yeah, a few weeks ago my SS
Yeah, a few weeks ago my SS 4and1/2 decided to drop his pants and start pissing right in the middle of a busy playground with kids and parents everywhere-- no idea that he was doing anything inappropriate. I strongly suspect he has autism but due to his mother's excuses and apathy he hasn't been diagnosed yet. (There is an appointment scheduled on wednesday thanks to me for an eval, but she has to consent- my fiance has no legal custody yet.) He will do things obviously because he is either slow or mentally handicapped that get under my skin and this was one of the many.. He's thrown my (normal) biological son's books in the bathtub and ruined them, almost pushed my fiance's 6mo old baby niece out of her swing on purpose (no concept of danger or safety whatsoever), picks at the covering on my couch and loveseat (now we have to buy new furniture), dump his food behind the couch when he watches tv onto the floor, pick his nose and eat it in front of anyone, pee on my toilet seat, stick my toothbrush in his mouth and try to use it just because it was the first one he grabbed (doesn't understand he has his own).. Its really messed up that its the tiniest things that he will do drive me crazy, but they do! He even can't wipe his own butt properly, needs help with that too.. He gives totally inappropriate responses to questions an adult will ask him (like "What did you do yesterday at mama's house?" and he'll say something like "triangle") His speech often makes no sense at all.. (He got up from bed last night, came down the stairs and asked his dad "where's my finger?" while he was looking at his hand.. WTF??) the almost constant whining and crying.. its like fingernails on a chalkboard.. I'm trying to get some resolution for his condition from mental health, why would his BM not get him any treatment?? How could you not know your kid was messed up, especially when everyone has been telling you the same thing (including a teacher for head start)? Its only a matter of time before someone will force this kid to get help.. try sneaking a 5 year old kid past a kindergarden teacher that can barely speak or make any sense and has odd and strange behaviors.. yeah. I hate it when he's over.. I journal my feelings.. I don't hug him or read to him.. I'm not mean to him, just avoid him. My fiance won't put up with his shit, either, which is good. He does have guilty daddy syndrome, but he doesn't let him get away with murder, either, thankfully! And he does understand that something is grossly wrong.. wants him to get help. I don't want him to get full custody, though, which he has talked about. (barf!) Just trying to make the best of this low-life shitty situation.. :sick:
Sorry but I am really shocked
Sorry but I am really shocked at the way you talk about (apparent) autism. Describing the child's behaviour as "messed up", "shit". "grossly wrong" is going at it from an angle that will get you absolutely nowhere. Please be aware that you cannot resolve autism, nor is it a treatable condition; it is merely manageable. Watch Rainman, decide if you want this kind of person around you for life (and I mean for life), and if for you this is too much of a low-life shitty situation, I have to advise you that you really should run for the hills rather than stay anywhere near this child. You will do so much damage with this attitude that you will make yourself a bed of nails to lie on over and above the travails that living with an autistic child brings.
I don't think anyone said you
I don't think anyone said you should be "okay" with your SS's episode, but perhaps special consideration should be made for him because he is an 8 year old austistic boy.
If you already do not like the boy and are sick of washing "his shit stained underwear", then I would suggest you not marry his father. Because odds are, that there will be more serious issues with him due to his condition as he gets older.
I agree with you Denise...it
I agree with you Denise...it is not OK to just go and shit your pants whether he is SN or not is not the point here. The point is he can function and make it to the bathroom on any normal day as you had mentioned but yet obviously waited til the last minute or just plain didnt give a crap and did it anyways!!! If he was doing it every damn day then I would be like ok hes got a major problem, BUT since we know by reading your post and your replies to other responses that he CAN go to the bathroom normally and NOT have shit in his pants I would agree that he is lazy...and SO should also get his head out of his ass and realize that there is something wrong with his kid shitting his pants in the first place at 8 years old and he needs to get this addressed asap....I dont get why if he could see that the Miralax was working and helping skid with his issue for the most part wtf would he stop it! UGH!!!! And....skid is SO'S responsiblity!!! SN or not he is SO's to take care of etc. Just like you dont EXPECT OR DEMAND your SO to take care of your kids the same should be for you as well...IMHO!!!
THANK YOU TASHA 1983...i
THANK YOU TASHA 1983...i agree all day long and twice on Sunday!
Just keepin; it real
Just keepin; it real Sista!!!!
We are pals...I dont think
We are pals...I dont think that is a problem
Gotcha....thx
Gotcha....thx
My SOs younger kid is also 8.
My SOs younger kid is also 8. This last summer while camping he waited until he couldn't make it to the campground bathroom and he shit his pants on the way there. I'm not sure if it's laziness or just plain ol' holding it until the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND but he's had more than one accident if you include peeing his pants... I don't think an 8 year old that is potty trained should have any excuses for having accidents. They have accidents because ulitmately, they are lazy. They don't want to stop what they are doing, they don't quite realize how badly they have to go... I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to give my opinion that if they know how to go to the bathroom, yet during a fun time when they don't want to stop what they are doing... not going to the bathroom in time IS LAZY!!! And bad judgement. It's really bad judgement.
In answer to the question,
In answer to the question, the practicalities are easy, you just take a change of bottom-half clothes around with him at all times and a set of wipes which he takes to the men's room with him, plus a plastic bag to put the dirty stuff in. He is told to wash his hands thoroughly after changing, with soap. Dad talks him through the routine in advance. He was able to notify adults of the problem and go off on his own so this extra routine should not be beyond him. If it happens again, you tell dad you are not prepared to supervise him on your own in public (if this is how you feel), and/or dad takes him to the pediatrician to see what's the cause of this new development.
And if you have friends who laugh at, criticise or shame you over an autistic 8-year-old who has had a toileting accident, his father should protect him from their attitude.
Aaaawwww. Poor little guy.
Aaaawwww. Poor little guy. That HAD to suck. My bio daughter used to pee her pants in kindergarten, because she was too embarassed to raise her hand and ask to use the bathroom in front of the other kids. Luckily, she has since outgrown that nonsense. I got really tired of washing pissy pants twice a week.
First if he had crap all over
First if he had crap all over him it sounds like maybe he had a digestive upset, diarrhea or something close in which case its not his fault. If not I'd assume he was so embarassed he learned a lesson. I agree that kids can be so involved in what they're doing they just don't want to stop and take care of business.
Definitely a reminder before going to the pool and if that embarasses him in front of his peers then tough.
If it happens again you march him home and turn a hose on him in the yard. I'm assuming this is some sort of condo association pool. 1 mile walk? Too bad. I'm hoping Dad was embarassed.
Kids with autism for some
Kids with autism for some crazy reason have a high incidence of gastrointestinal problems. Beats me as to why, but that might be a possible explanation for it. My SS4.5 threw up in the back seat of our car three days ago for no reason, and refused to eat dinner last week because he said his tummy would blow up if he did. Weird!