OMG! :jawdrop: From the sound of your blog, I guess your SS isn't "special" in any way...that is just mortifying! I have NO idea how I would react if SS9 or SD8 did that...no idea!

In the future, I would be a potty nazi...seriously! Constantly, prior to leaving "SS, do you need to use the bathroom", "SS, go use the toilet", "SS, we are going swimming...don't want any accidents, we aren't leaving until you POTTY!"

Just...wow!

Its laziness they wait until the last minute, I am forever washing shit stained pants, because Sd6 waits until the last minute, thankfully I won't have to do that anymore, Im leaving for a happier life.

This sucks. But I have to say that it is absolutely sad that so many think that this is just pure laziness. Sorry, it is not. NO KID ENJOYS being different, made fun of, pooping in their pants. Really, NO kid does. There is definitely an issue here and it needs to be addressed...but taking it as "he's just lazy" , as someone else posted, is just wrong.

I am appalled that kids who have "special needs" are treated the same as those who don't. It is sad, sad, sad. These kids do NOT need more stress in their lives. If you can't handle a special needs kid, then you really need to move on. It is one thing to expect less of them, ie. talking back, not cleaning a room, etc...just because they are special needs. No, they should be taught the same things...but there are MANY issues that they cannot control, that are controlled by a thousand other things and it is abusive to expect so much of them.

I don't think anyone said you should be "okay" with your SS's episode, but perhaps special consideration should be made for him because he is an 8 year old austistic boy.

If you already do not like the boy and are sick of washing "his shit stained underwear", then I would suggest you not marry his father. Because odds are, that there will be more serious issues with him due to his condition as he gets older.

I agree with you Denise...it is not OK to just go and shit your pants whether he is SN or not is not the point here. The point is he can function and make it to the bathroom on any normal day as you had mentioned but yet obviously waited til the last minute or just plain didnt give a crap and did it anyways!!! If he was doing it every damn day then I would be like ok hes got a major problem, BUT since we know by reading your post and your replies to other responses that he CAN go to the bathroom normally and NOT have shit in his pants I would agree that he is lazy...and SO should also get his head out of his ass and realize that there is something wrong with his kid shitting his pants in the first place at 8 years old and he needs to get this addressed asap....I dont get why if he could see that the Miralax was working and helping skid with his issue for the most part wtf would he stop it! UGH!!!! And....skid is SO'S responsiblity!!! SN or not he is SO's to take care of etc. Just like you dont EXPECT OR DEMAND your SO to take care of your kids the same should be for you as well...IMHO!!!

My SOs younger kid is also 8. This last summer while camping he waited until he couldn't make it to the campground bathroom and he shit his pants on the way there. I'm not sure if it's laziness or just plain ol' holding it until the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND but he's had more than one accident if you include peeing his pants... I don't think an 8 year old that is potty trained should have any excuses for having accidents. They have accidents because ulitmately, they are lazy. They don't want to stop what they are doing, they don't quite realize how badly they have to go... I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to give my opinion that if they know how to go to the bathroom, yet during a fun time when they don't want to stop what they are doing... not going to the bathroom in time IS LAZY!!! And bad judgement. It's really bad judgement.

In answer to the question, the practicalities are easy, you just take a change of bottom-half clothes around with him at all times and a set of wipes which he takes to the men's room with him, plus a plastic bag to put the dirty stuff in. He is told to wash his hands thoroughly after changing, with soap. Dad talks him through the routine in advance. He was able to notify adults of the problem and go off on his own so this extra routine should not be beyond him. If it happens again, you tell dad you are not prepared to supervise him on your own in public (if this is how you feel), and/or dad takes him to the pediatrician to see what's the cause of this new development.
And if you have friends who laugh at, criticise or shame you over an autistic 8-year-old who has had a toileting accident, his father should protect him from their attitude.

Aaaawwww. Poor little guy. That HAD to suck. My bio daughter used to pee her pants in kindergarten, because she was too embarassed to raise her hand and ask to use the bathroom in front of the other kids. Luckily, she has since outgrown that nonsense. I got really tired of washing pissy pants twice a week.

First if he had crap all over him it sounds like maybe he had a digestive upset, diarrhea or something close in which case its not his fault. If not I'd assume he was so embarassed he learned a lesson. I agree that kids can be so involved in what they're doing they just don't want to stop and take care of business.

Definitely a reminder before going to the pool and if that embarasses him in front of his peers then tough.

If it happens again you march him home and turn a hose on him in the yard. I'm assuming this is some sort of condo association pool. 1 mile walk? Too bad. I'm hoping Dad was embarassed.