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Sending money to my enemy

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:42am

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Well, tomorrow is my wife's last day at work. She will spend the summer at home, and then start traveling with me for work during the fall.

The one slight hang-up, or at least something that feels weird, is that I will now be paying DW's child support obligation for SD17. Once August arrives, I will have to send a check every two weeks to Mr. Walking Anus, SD17's bio-father. He has been a royal pain in the ass for going on 15 years. And of course, that money will ultimately filter down to SD17, who has been an even bigger pain in the ass for almost as long. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that SD lives with Walking Anus now, but it does feel weired sending them money.

sorryilovemydogmore's picture

Submitted by sorryilovemydogmore on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:46am

Ugh. Even the idea of that makes me cringe. It's bad enough knowing what FDH pays to whatshername every month (cs and maintenance, even though custody/placement is 50/50). I think instead of writing out the check myself, I'd rather take the pen and stab myself with it.

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:49am

Hmm at least sd dos'nt live with you, yes it must smart giving Walking Anus money, I won't tell you what I call BM, I would be thrown off the site lol, you must have some satisfaction knowing that you are a far more decent person than he is.

JustAnotherSM's picture

Submitted by JustAnotherSM on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:12am

I've been in this position. My DH became a SAHD for our 2 bios and I covered his CS expenses for SS for almost 4 years. It was a difficult choice, but one that was best for our family. Plus I got some delight in knowing how pissed BM was that the money was coming from me and not DH. She would threaten to garnish my wages and I would just laugh in her face Bwahahaha!

sorryilovemydogmore's picture

Submitted by sorryilovemydogmore on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:19am

I never thought about that angle. As much as it would bug me to send her money, it would really burn her to get money from me. I'd probably do some childish thing like puta smiley face in the memo line just to really get her. I'm not proud of my childish streak, but hey, it's part of me.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:45am

This has been my feeling about it as well. Granted, DH & I have our money combined so who's paycheck it's actually coming from can't be determined, & frankly doesn't matter to me.

BM doesn't have a bank account, so at her request we do CS in the form of money orders so it doesn't cost her anything to cash it. Her effort was to be a PITA because DH told her we'd have to pay to buy the MO's. Well, it's $.60 to buy one...whatever.

What we've discovered she can't stand is that I am the one who fills out the payor/payee information on the orders themselves & I address the envelope. She HATES it & argues that it just proves DH is a POS because he can't even give his daughter enough time to address his own CS payment/envelope. As soon as we discovered how bothersome it is for her to see MY handwriting on the envelopes/MO's I decided I was willing to take on that responsibility. LOL!

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:58am

Since DW voluntarily quit, Walking Anus could petition the court, and reqest that they impute her previous earnings to her, even though she is no longer working. And in our state, even if you are unemployed, you are still required to pay a certain "minimum" amount of CS.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 12:38pm

Welcome to the world of most SMOMs...the way I look at it now? It is truly a "penalty payment" for my husband having the virtue of not been married to the loser anymore...

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 2:14pm

On the bright side, her time is dwindling down...

Does DW have her own bank account? Why not give her so much money into that account each paycheck and let her pay the CS and whatever else she needs money for?

Toooldfor this's picture

Submitted by Toooldfor this on Fri, 05/18/2012 - 8:42am

I wrote the checks when the worthless tramp showed up after a four year vacation from parenting and decided she wanted to be a mom again. We received NO CS from her during that time. My only coping mechanism was to write "WELFARE PAYMENT" in the memo section on the check :-)!! That pissed her off!!!!