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Is it wrong of me??

jnix001's picture

Is it wrong of me to want my husband to do something for me for Mother's Day? Shouldn't I be celebrated as well? I am a SM of a 4 yr old...have been for 2 years. And now DH and I are expecting our first child together. Last year he never said Happy Mother's Day or even acknowledged me that day. I didn't let it get to me though bc we weren't married yet and I figured...well...I'm not *technically* his SM. But I have done more for that baby than his BM ever thought of doing. And though I didn't give birth to him, I feel as though I've been a helluva good mom to him. Am I wrong or selfish to expect a little something this year? I mean...even just a card?

jnix001's picture

No...he just hasn't made any remarks about it or any plans...and though he's not inconsiderate he is a man and just doesn't THINK about things like this...doesn't really consider it being a big deal. It really hurt last year when he didn't say anything. And I made SEVERAL hints about being unappreciated by people for all the things I do...he NEVER caught on. Idk. I'm just afraid I'll be disappointed again.

jnix001's picture

He knows it's Mother's Day. SS visitation with BM was changed so she could have him this wkd. Plus, I just got him to send flowers to MY mom today at her work. So he definitely knows...

jnix001's picture

The thing is...he KNOWS how I feel about my SS. I love him more than anything in this world. He even calls me "Mama" and has (own his own...without our encouragement) called me that since we got married. So DH knows...and I feel like it's crazy I should have to point out I want to be acknowledged lol.

SMof2Girls's picture

It's only wrong if you want it, if it matters to you, and you DON'T say anything.

Sure, women love to believe that men should "just know" these things .. but they don't. Not all of them, anyway.

Remind him. Tell him you want to do something, or you want a small gift. Tell him it matters to you. He's not a mind reader.

stepgin's picture

No, you're not being selfish. But I agree that some men don't really think about celebrating special days like that. I will say that my ex told me when our children were very small that he was getting me anything for mother's day becuause I wasn't his mother. Sad And he stuck to it for years!
The REALLY sad thing is that I stayed with him for 21 years!!!!

jnix001's picture

I know a lot of men that have the same attitude towards Mother's Day. However, those men are extremely self centered, ignorant, pompous, and ***holes. My husband is a total opposite. He's kind and considerate. It's just this ONE day that I'm having trouble wrapping my head around. Why can't he just understand?? Why does he NEED a reminder to APPRECIATE me on a day that should mean SO much to him considering how I treat HIS child?

smomof2's picture

So's is not so thoughtful when it comes to those things, i've learned that if I want something, I better shamelessly hint at it rather than wait for him to think of it himself. Last night I asked him what he and the ssons are getting me for mother's day. He said nothing yet, but there's still time.
We'll see.

Orange County Ca's picture

I've never acknowledged Mothers Day for my wife who is not the mother of my children. Mothers Day I thought was for my mother. Or is it in celebration of all mothers.

Unfortunately I came to the latter conclusion much too late to make it up to my wife who fortunately has two girls who never forget and are enthuastic in their gift giving since they live away and can't give of their time.

So husband remember your girlfriend/wife even if she isn't the mother of your children.

old-blue-eyes's picture

I have not raised my dh's darling daughter who is now an adult. I met her when she was about 12 yrs old. I did many nice things for her too. Only once did she send me a Mother's Day card BUT that was because I spoiled her first born to death. I remembered when dh told me I was more of a mother to her than her own bm was, as of now I don't get anything from her but Grief. DH never recognizes me as anything to her or that family in years. I am forgotten by THEM. In the past years I do not give my dh a Father's Day card either. That's the way the balls bounce, I hope she never gives me one or any kind of card that I even exist because now I feel better that she is out of my life! I give that family Nothing anymore Smile