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Hi everyone I'm new here and can't believe how much I can relate to whilst searching through your posts! I'm really not alone am I !
I'm not married but my boyfriend has an 8 year old boy and 13 year old girl.We've been together for a year but have know each other for 3 years.
We all get on brilliantly and I really enjoy their company but one thing has been really upsetting me lately. Why is it he can show so much affection to his kids and not me? He's constantly cuddling them, telling them he loves them but if I want any affection I have to ask for it 9 times out of 10. Is it wrong to feel this jealous?
Thanks
Clare
Im with you there, this site
Im with you there, this site has helped me so much, Im not a crazy twisted person after all lol. Your story sounds familiar to me, my bf wasn't that affectionate with me either, then I found out that in his last 2 relationships his partners were not like that, he was amazed that I enjoyed cooking for him, complimenting him, I was so different to anyone he'd met before, Im not flattering myself, I just like to lavish affection on someone that I love, he just wasn't used to it, we have been together for 2 yrs now and he is much more affectionate, perhaps your bf dosn't want to be what he see's as over affectionate in front of the children? What was his last relationship like? I could be completely wrong, but others sharing their stories on here have helped me so much.
Hi, Your situation sounds
Hi,
Your situation sounds just like mine. His ex wife was not at all affectionate to him so it's probably a shock to him! Like you I like cooking for him and his kids and complimenting etc. Just feel that I'm giving all the time and getting nothing back. I don't mean presents and gifts I mean a bit of thoughtfulness. I will perservere though !.
Clare
Thats right little by little,
Thats right little by little, hes just not used to it, my bf was also a bit thoughtless, he just needed to be retrained lol, if you are feeling neglected then tell him how you feel, you can't expect him just to just know, he is a man ha ha.
No, Clare, this is not wrong,
No, Clare, this is not wrong, or even unusual. Your bf, however, needs to learn a lot about maintaining a happy relationship with a partner, because if he carries on like this the resentment will probably eventually cause you to move on.
It is probably a case with him of "familiarity breeds contempt" - I don't know if he is the custodial parent but I imagine not, and he is all over his little darlings when he sees them.
Try pulling away from him a bit, deny HIM affection, then you may find he values you more.
Thanks for the advice I think
Thanks for the advice I think I will try and be a bit more aloof see if it works !
After reading Kes's post, I
After reading Kes's post, I use to withdraw a little and bf would come to me, but I did feel like I was playing games a bit.
I know what you mean. The
I know what you mean. The last thing I want to do is get into playing games but nothing wrong with giving him a bit of space.
I'm addicted already and only
I'm addicted already and only joined today ! feel much better already.
I've never wanted kids ever, so to find myself in a relationship with kids involved has been hard at times but also really good too. I've seen the good things about having kids that I never really got before. Still hasn't made me want my own and never will !