BM remarried this past wkend & DH emotionally bothered by it !!
I have posted before about me feeling as though my DH is still in love with BM. She remarried this past Sat and he has tried to call SS28 because he needed to ask if he knew what size motor he thought we needed for our boat. SS never answered and he even tried to call one of SS friends to find out what he thought about a motor. He knew SS and his friend was at the wedding getting stuff together etc. DH says to "ME" I wonder who is doing the cooking at the reception? This came out of nowhere! (He was thinking about her wedding) I told him that SS already said the his friend was cooking. DH says Oh then thats why he never answered the phone when I called. I asked why he called and thats when he told me he had tried to call them. So, I nicely asked him why did you call them to ask what they thought instead of us talking about it, especially you knowing they were all with BM? He said he didn't think anything about it and I was still at work when I thought about a motor and just called to ask. Ever since Sat my DH seems to be in outer space. He got on our facebook & clicked on SD's FB page just as I walked in and then he quickly had gotten off of it and went to looking at random friends pages. He was trying to see if any pics of BM was posted on her page. This was Sunday morning. Now last night he was dying to find an excuse to have to get on FB which he never wants anything to do w/ FB. I got on just out of the blue and he says to me. Lets see what SD is up to. I sd OK just playing his game.... I knew BM pictures would be there I already checked. So BM pics popped up and he sd.. Is that her! I sd well it sure isn't SD and he said she looks bad doesn't she & I never answered him and he sd click on them and see if any of the kids are in the pics. I sd here you can I don't care to look at her. He said he didn't either just wants to look at kids pics and he clicked on them. I could tell he was looking at her in the pics. What your thinking on this?
I don't see anything wrong
I don't see anything wrong with him being curious. Unless it's more than that?
I wouldn't have so much of an
I wouldn't have so much of an issue with it if he'd say, "I want to see the wedding pictures". But the fact that he's being sneaky & sketchy about it would irk the crap outta me. I think simple curiosity is normal. The fact that he feels like he needs to sneak peeks leaves me to believe there's something more to it.
I'm not saying it indicates his heart is broken over it or anything. But it does make me think that maybe he's feeling a little bittersweet or something. I don't think it's bad. I think it's probably just making things feel a little bit more final. He made his end final when he remarried. Now she's closed her end of it & has officially moved on.
This would annoy the crap out
This would annoy the crap out of me too, I go thru something similar. BM is all weepy bc DH and I got married. I think she thought I would just be a passing phase to him.
In fact this weekend she picked up the skids from him and out of nowhere she says "You know, it really hurt my feelings when you got married." (Now she's the one who cheated, got pregnant, and left him for another man and they've been divorced 4 years.) He says "Oh really, I'm so sorry, it really hurt my feelings when you left me for another guy." He said he could see the steam escaping from her pea brain......
BM did something similar to
BM did something similar to DH for the whole first year we were together. She would send him these dramatic texts and emails saying how miserable and lonely she was; especially on birthdays, holidays, etc. Just going on and on about how it's not fair she doesn't get anymore flowers, lovey words, gifts, etc.
He just replied to her finally saying, "really? did you think about that when you were laying on your back for half your Navy ship EVERY TIME you were deployed?"
That stopped that pretty quickly.
this would hurt me. i know
this would hurt me. i know it is somewhat normal for ex spouses to have feeelings of curiosity, pain and even regret when the other spouse remarries. my mom, who was fully over my father and had been for years expressed this to me. it was "new" phase for her. the physical "moving on" and not just the mental.
she did not obsess over it though and it was before social media. ex relationships are so easily muddied these days.
my knowledge that this happens does not take away the pain i will feel if dh is overly interested in bm if she get's remarried.
((hugs to you))
It's probably just curiosity.
It's probably just curiosity. I was curious to see my ex's new baby when I heard he had one. I didn't still love him or anything, was just curious. I snooped his fb page.
This would tick me off pretty
This would tick me off pretty bad. It would make me feel really insecure that my husband was checking out his ex, and trying to be all sneaky. I think he would have some explaining to do before I was okay with it. If we were both looking at her wedding photos and making fun of them that would be ok. LOL! It’s the sneaky part that would bother me not so much her.
It does bothers me when my husband brings up his ex randomly I'm always left thinking what brought that up?! Or was that really necessary to tell me your ex wife had breast implants? I guess after you’ve been married to someone for 12 years it’s hard not to bring them up every now and then since they were such a part of their lives! My husband and I started dating just a few weeks after his divorce was final, and in the beginning he did bring her up a lot. It used to make me nervous when his son would ask him in front of me if he and mommy were getting back together. It made me feel 100% better during the kid exchange over New Years my husband seemed weird after she left, and I asked him what’s wrong, and he told me he was beginning to think he must have had NO taste in woman in the past because his EX was really nasty and he felt ashamed that she was even his Ex because of how she looked and was acting.
My soon to be DH got a little
My soon to be DH got a little weird when his ex got remarried. He was really preoccupied, and asked SD6 a lot of questions about it before and after the service. I would have been a little weirded out by him looking at the pictures, but my DH uses SD6 as an excuse for everything so he would have said he was just looking at her. I think it hurts men's egos just a little to know that ladies have moved on. They may not want all the drama and stress that BM's cause but at one point they cared for her deeply, or at least a little, and I think it hurts them to know there is life after DH!