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Do you think it would help?

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 10:07pm

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If you could get all your frustrations and annoyances out to your SO's would it help you to move on?
I ask because I feel I am leaving this relationship soon and I know it wont do any good to do this, but I have so much pent up rage about some of the crap that has happened. Maybe just yelling all this to the wind would help. I just need cleansed of all this crap.

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 10:28pm

For me, writing is much more theraputic. I have had relations with some family members where years and years of furstration, anger, resentment, hurt, questions, were built up. I thought about it so many times before severing the ties, "maybe if I just tell them straight. maybe if i say this, maybe if i told them that..etc.." but i always knew in my heart i would never get the reaction i would expect/need/want. I would never hear the words i needed to hear. i KNEW they would still NEVER "GET IT".

So instead, i wrote a letter and then burned it. I felt better.

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 10:43pm

thats how I feel too. He wont have a sudden revelation about all the wrong doings and see the light. He wont suddenly agree with me or change his behavior and even if he did then it'd be too late anyway. I just need to get it all out, its toxic to my life. I feel I have become such an angry person over the past 6-9 months. Ill try the letter idea, it cant hurt. Thanks for the advice.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 10:57pm

I think it is very different when you know you want to stay again.I mean, you can blow it all up if you want and say everything you want Biggrin I find the hardest part is to learn to say things that are not feeling right or wrong without harming the relationship or hurt the other person too much.Many times I swallow it and nearly choke on it, though I am better with leaving it out now.
For you..go for it, tell him how you feel.It may help both of you for your next relationship to be brutally honest.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sun, 04/15/2012 - 2:09am

I think you should tell him before you go. What harm is it going to do, you are leaving anyway, and it may help you to put it all to rest so that it does not poison a future relationship for you.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sun, 04/15/2012 - 3:42am

A letter is absolutley the best way to go. Start now put every teenie weenie bit of crap you can think of into it, even if you don't like the way he stirs his coffee. Read it, re-write it, and keep going until you have it all out of your system and you have a letter that you could actually send to him that is to the point,if you wanted to send it. Sending it is up to you, but if it is full of nastiness and hate I wouldn't bother that won't help you or him. Get all the nastiness angry and hate out in the first few drafts. I am sure it will make you feel better.

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Sun, 04/15/2012 - 1:42pm

I have been in that exact position for the last yr. I'm at the point that I don't even bring up problems bc I know its pointless. He says I nag, I say he doesn't listen...fighting ensues. There is no point in telling my side. I have also changed my attitude towards the situation. Hard to believe I once thought our love would be enough. Pfft.