Well, not in a position to take SS on vacation yet, he's less than 2, lives FT with BM in another state.
This is the future: If he's here and we happen to have a vacation lined up that includes kids, then yes. If he's not here, no. We won't purposely include or exclude him.
Vacation for adults. No. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Edit: Provided he is well behaved. If not, then NO NO NO NO NO.
Thankfully, FDH is on board with this. Same thing with the issues of pets. If he lives with us FT, he can have pets like our kids would, if he doesn't, sorry. Not gonna happen.
We always included SD12 in the past, but now she makes me miserable and was an ungrateful brat on our last vacation. So I really want to just take our toddlers and send her to a camp or something for that week. I guess I just want to know if that is "ok"! I feel bad about it, but I really don't want to include her.
Nope.
Bm won't let us. If she did then I am sure we would have a vacation together but that would be in addition to a vacation just me and fdh. When we have children together (and bm decides we can take ss away) I'm not sure how it will work. I don't think fdh would go away without ss if his other children are coming.
This is how we do it, too. Some with, some without. When SS9 goes on vacation with BM, we also schedule a vacation during that time, too.
Summer beach trip: with SS9
Spring vacay: without SS9 (on vacay with BM)
Thanksgiving at grandma's: we get SS every other year for Thanksgiving, so 1 year on, 1 year off.
yes, we've taken the brat with us. And at the same time we took my daughter too.
But we've also gone and just had to take the brat, only. Ugh. Unfortunately, if we go anywhere close to where the kid lives with her bm and it's bf's weekend then we end up taking the kid.
I do appreciate that we plan trips just for the two of us also. That makes life bearable somewhat!!
For the most part yes. Skids live with us full time. I've only gotten away without the skids once for a long weekend.... And that involved just me and BS going to visit my parents. Dh stayed back with the skids because they had school.
I've taken vacations with just me and all the kids (step and bio), Dh stayed home to work, up to 10 days at a time. Also just to visit my family.
Dh has taken the skids to visit his mom once, leaving me and BS home.
This summer the skids are spending the majority of it with mil (whoo hoo!) and we will taking a trip while they are gone to introduce the new baby to my family. Dh says he's coming with biosons and I, but I suspect he will say he can't get the time off and ill be taking the boys by myself.
Never gotten a trip with me, Dh and just the BIOS, or a trip with just me and Dh (but I wouldn't want to leave the BIOS anyways)
Our vacations only ever involve visiting family though.
Sadly, yes...we have taken the resident SKids ( 8 & 9 ) to Chicago (to meet family) & to Disney last year...both vacations were full of SD deciding that I wasn't worth her time & having to say "pouty faces can get OUT from in front of my camera now!"
They're resident though so I don't see how it can be avoided but I certainly would if I could after they mistook attitude for gratitude the last couple of trips.
yes we take skids on vacation. but i see nothing wrong with not taking them and if they are causing problems i see that as a reason not to take them...it's a consequence for being crappy.
NOPE! I've taken her camping w/my bios. During said camping trip my kids brought up a beach vacation-which we were supposed to do last year but financially I couldn't do it-of course she now thinks she is going w/all of us even though I have not spoken of it again.
I've alredy told bf I'm not taking her on any vacation-she is ungrateful just at my home w/all I do. I haven't taken my bios on vacation in a few years and she goes on trips with her mom ALL THE TIME and brags about it-so NO, this is for MY KIDS. I also get around it by 'inviting' him to come (and expect him to pitch in for food, etc)-but I'm NOT doing a combined family vacation.
We are NOT a family, we're dating, we're not living together, we aren't engaged, we aren't splitting bills. FUCK no!
Yes we do. As long as she is avaiable to come with us she does. There are times I think to myself why did we bring her, but in the end it is still time she has spent with us. I pray some day she will know how much we tried.
Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't. When visiting my family out of state - no. When visiting DH family out of state - yes. When my parents paid for a cruise it was for 4, DH , bios, & me. When DH rented a cabin in the mountains, yes. It was one price no matter how many so we could afford to include them. DH paid tremendous amount of CS so if it was a pricey vacation in a resort we only took our bios. Skids got many vacations with BM that CS paid for so we felt no guilt going away with just our 2.
This will be the first time in almost 12 years that we take the Skids on a vacation. In all fairness, DH and I always go on vacation alone and have never taken HIS or MY kids. Last year we took SS and my BS to the shore for a week. They had a blast. DH wanted to take SD but it was a graduation present for the boys and I convinced him that we should leave her. This year we plan to take a trip and we have included BOTH Skids along with my BS. I am almost sure that at the last minute BM will do something to prevent us from taking SD and we will lose the 1100.00 that we already paid for her, but right now all we can do is play the waiting game. This will be the first and last time we take them, it cost WAY too much money.
we never have the money for a real vacation, but we occassionally go on a day trip. a couple of years ago, it was the zoo. sd was invited. because we wouldn't pay for her to bring her bf, she chose not to go. fine by me. this year, i'm hoping to do the zoo again and cedar point. i will not be inviting her or her bf, and being that she is pregnant, i don't care to have her around me, for a multitude of reasons, one of them being listening to her bitch and moan about how hard it is to be pregnant. i would think she wouldn't want to go pregnant anyway. i don't feel bad about it. she's 19. she isn't entitled to go with us everywhere we go, free of charge.
We use to take SD on vacation with us all the time when she was growing up. We would always be going somewhere, went away every weekend from Spring to Fall camping, etc. SD was WORSE on vacation than at home. finally, I said i wouldn't go anymore with her. We stopped going places all together and it caused marital problems as we soon drifted apart. With a mild separation, we worked things out and started taking those trips when SD was with BM. It was so much nicer. I would NEVER go on vacation with that brat again!
We aren't really in the position for any "real" vacations. We have taken skids camping (along with my bios)a couple times. SD was horrible. She will continue to come with on "minor" trips, though.
I have discussed with SO whether he would consider a vacation without SD. She is in a different age range than the rest of the kids and doesn't/can't do the same activities**. She will pout, cry, whine, have a tantrum, whatever it takes to get SO to give in to her way. Or if he doesn't give in, she just makes it unbearable for the rest of us. This means we'd have to split off, as usual, and SO take SD to do her thing and I take SS and my bios to do the other thing. Well, I'm not paying for a vacation for it to be like that. Any future vacations will be me and my bios. Depending on the itinerary, I would probably invite SS. In fact, this past weekend I took my bios and SS on a road trip (SO couldn't come and SD had plans with her mom)and we had so much fun.
Actually, I would love a vacation with just SO, but that will never happen. BM and her mom make changes the visitation schedule all the time, but he won't do it. Can't "rock the boat" and can't hurt SD's little feelings.
**Yes, I understand that "intact" families have kids of varying age ranges and make it work. Ostensibly, however, these parents have raised said kids to be decent little human beings, making them likeable enough for the parents to want to do nice things for them.
We took SD7 once. It was for three days. I learned an important lesson. It is not worth it to me, or them for us to go together. DH and I can go places together, and I encourage him to take trips with her. It's just easier all around.
I don't think I would be okay with DH going on vacation with just SD. Maybe I would feel differently if SD wasn't constantly trying to come between DH and I. If DH and SD went on a trip just the two of them, she would CONSTANTLY be talking about "when Daddy and I go..." "when Daddy and I went..." in front of me just to tick me off and try to make me jealous.
Last year we took just my two biosons to Florida and had a great time. We all did stuff together and there was no favoritism etc. We fought for weeks though because he thought it was unfair that skids did not get to go but they go on vacations with their mom every year, my biosons had never been on a vacation ever! It was wonderful. This year he wants to take all of them to Florida and asked what I thought I said NO thanks. I'll stay home with my biosons. I cannot possibly have a good time with the skids when one of them makes things so difficult and daddy has to do everything with her and that leaves no time for me or the other kids! I'm totally against taking skids!
We take skids on our big vaca. once a year other than that NOPE they stay with their mom. We have taken just my kids lots of times and we have gone alone lots of times. But the one vaca a year we take them. Now that my kids are grown and this is the last year that they will go with us as in 'family' vaca I'm not sure how it will work b/c I plan in leaving it all up to dh to plan and take care of all details,.. }:) }:) }:) }:)
FH will not leave home without the little brats. If it does not include them then it isn't ''worth it" to go. Will be interesting to see what he does about our honeymoon because there is no way in HELL they are coming anywhere with us!
DH wants to go to the beach this year, 19 hr drive with sd7, bs11, ss13, sd15. He asked "doesn't that sound like fun" I said "NOPE". There is no way that it's a vacation for me to take SD7, she is such a brat, doesn't listen, thinks she can do whatever she wants and never gets in trouble for it. I can't even imagine driving that long there and back plus a week of her getting to do whatever she wants and DH forgets about the rest of us. When I go on vacation I actually want to enjoy my time off work and not have to do more work. I would have to cook 3 meals a day and not enjoy anything at all, NO THANK YOU! He's insisting on it but every time he brings it up I just say NO and walk away. Last year he took my two BS's to Florida and he wanted NO part of the theme parks now he wants to do theme parks just because of SD7 which would leave us being separated most of the time we are there because she won't ride the rides and someone would have to stay with the other 3 (my oldest is too old for theme parks) I don't think a vacation is being separated for most part of the day and then never spending time together as husband and wife. Sometimes I just hate my life, I'm not sure I can get out of this one and I'm dreading it daily, already in my mind it's a horrible idea!
Hee.
Hee.
Well, not in a position to
Well, not in a position to take SS on vacation yet, he's less than 2, lives FT with BM in another state.
This is the future: If he's here and we happen to have a vacation lined up that includes kids, then yes. If he's not here, no. We won't purposely include or exclude him.
Vacation for adults. No. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Edit: Provided he is well behaved. If not, then NO NO NO NO NO.
Thankfully, FDH is on board with this. Same thing with the issues of pets. If he lives with us FT, he can have pets like our kids would, if he doesn't, sorry. Not gonna happen.
We always included SD12 in
We always included SD12 in the past, but now she makes me miserable and was an ungrateful brat on our last vacation. So I really want to just take our toddlers and send her to a camp or something for that week. I guess I just want to know if that is "ok"! I feel bad about it, but I really don't want to include her.
Nope. Bm won't let us. If she
Nope.
Bm won't let us. If she did then I am sure we would have a vacation together but that would be in addition to a vacation just me and fdh. When we have children together (and bm decides we can take ss away) I'm not sure how it will work. I don't think fdh would go away without ss if his other children are coming.
Yes - only the one that lives
Yes - only the one that lives with us. If you don't have a relationship with us, you do not get to benefit in the fun....
Yes But we we also take
Yes
But we we also take vacations without them.
We're taking SDs 5 and 7 to WDW this July.
Ds20 is going to a wedding and Myrtle Beach with us in early August.
We're going on cruise alone in late August.
When we drop DS off at school after the cruise, we're spending the rest of Labor Day weekend at a Virginia Beach with SD15. (She lives down there)
This is how we do it, too.
This is how we do it, too. Some with, some without. When SS9 goes on vacation with BM, we also schedule a vacation during that time, too.
Summer beach trip: with SS9
Spring vacay: without SS9 (on vacay with BM)
Thanksgiving at grandma's: we get SS every other year for Thanksgiving, so 1 year on, 1 year off.
yes, we've taken the brat
yes, we've taken the brat with us. And at the same time we took my daughter too.
But we've also gone and just had to take the brat, only. Ugh. Unfortunately, if we go anywhere close to where the kid lives with her bm and it's bf's weekend then we end up taking the kid.
I do appreciate that we plan trips just for the two of us also. That makes life bearable somewhat!!
For the most part yes. Skids
For the most part yes. Skids live with us full time. I've only gotten away without the skids once for a long weekend.... And that involved just me and BS going to visit my parents. Dh stayed back with the skids because they had school.
I've taken vacations with just me and all the kids (step and bio), Dh stayed home to work, up to 10 days at a time. Also just to visit my family.
Dh has taken the skids to visit his mom once, leaving me and BS home.
This summer the skids are spending the majority of it with mil (whoo hoo!) and we will taking a trip while they are gone to introduce the new baby to my family. Dh says he's coming with biosons and I, but I suspect he will say he can't get the time off and ill be taking the boys by myself.
Never gotten a trip with me, Dh and just the BIOS, or a trip with just me and Dh (but I wouldn't want to leave the BIOS anyways)
Our vacations only ever involve visiting family though.
Sadly, yes...we have taken
Sadly, yes...we have taken the resident SKids ( 8 & 9 ) to Chicago (to meet family) & to Disney last year...both vacations were full of SD deciding that I wasn't worth her time & having to say "pouty faces can get OUT from in front of my camera now!"
They're resident though so I don't see how it can be avoided but I certainly would if I could after they mistook attitude for gratitude the last couple of trips.
yes we take skids on
yes we take skids on vacation. but i see nothing wrong with not taking them and if they are causing problems i see that as a reason not to take them...it's a consequence for being crappy.
We do, but if ever a trip
We do, but if ever a trip comes up that skids make it into a negative that they came along, that will be the last trip.
NOPE! I've taken her camping
NOPE! I've taken her camping w/my bios. During said camping trip my kids brought up a beach vacation-which we were supposed to do last year but financially I couldn't do it-of course she now thinks she is going w/all of us even though I have not spoken of it again.
I've alredy told bf I'm not taking her on any vacation-she is ungrateful just at my home w/all I do. I haven't taken my bios on vacation in a few years and she goes on trips with her mom ALL THE TIME and brags about it-so NO, this is for MY KIDS. I also get around it by 'inviting' him to come (and expect him to pitch in for food, etc)-but I'm NOT doing a combined family vacation.
We are NOT a family, we're dating, we're not living together, we aren't engaged, we aren't splitting bills. FUCK no!
Yes we do. As long as she is
Yes we do. As long as she is avaiable to come with us she does. There are times I think to myself why did we bring her, but in the end it is still time she has spent with us. I pray some day she will know how much we tried.
Sometimes we do. Sometimes we
Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't. When visiting my family out of state - no. When visiting DH family out of state - yes. When my parents paid for a cruise it was for 4, DH , bios, & me. When DH rented a cabin in the mountains, yes. It was one price no matter how many so we could afford to include them. DH paid tremendous amount of CS so if it was a pricey vacation in a resort we only took our bios. Skids got many vacations with BM that CS paid for so we felt no guilt going away with just our 2.
This will be the first time
This will be the first time in almost 12 years that we take the Skids on a vacation. In all fairness, DH and I always go on vacation alone and have never taken HIS or MY kids. Last year we took SS and my BS to the shore for a week. They had a blast. DH wanted to take SD but it was a graduation present for the boys and I convinced him that we should leave her. This year we plan to take a trip and we have included BOTH Skids along with my BS. I am almost sure that at the last minute BM will do something to prevent us from taking SD and we will lose the 1100.00 that we already paid for her, but right now all we can do is play the waiting game. This will be the first and last time we take them, it cost WAY too much money.
we never have the money for a
we never have the money for a real vacation, but we occassionally go on a day trip. a couple of years ago, it was the zoo. sd was invited. because we wouldn't pay for her to bring her bf, she chose not to go. fine by me. this year, i'm hoping to do the zoo again and cedar point. i will not be inviting her or her bf, and being that she is pregnant, i don't care to have her around me, for a multitude of reasons, one of them being listening to her bitch and moan about how hard it is to be pregnant. i would think she wouldn't want to go pregnant anyway. i don't feel bad about it. she's 19. she isn't entitled to go with us everywhere we go, free of charge.
We use to take SD on vacation
We use to take SD on vacation with us all the time when she was growing up. We would always be going somewhere, went away every weekend from Spring to Fall camping, etc. SD was WORSE on vacation than at home. finally, I said i wouldn't go anymore with her. We stopped going places all together and it caused marital problems as we soon drifted apart. With a mild separation, we worked things out and started taking those trips when SD was with BM. It was so much nicer. I would NEVER go on vacation with that brat again!
We aren't really in the
We aren't really in the position for any "real" vacations. We have taken skids camping (along with my bios)a couple times. SD was horrible. She will continue to come with on "minor" trips, though.
I have discussed with SO whether he would consider a vacation without SD. She is in a different age range than the rest of the kids and doesn't/can't do the same activities**. She will pout, cry, whine, have a tantrum, whatever it takes to get SO to give in to her way. Or if he doesn't give in, she just makes it unbearable for the rest of us. This means we'd have to split off, as usual, and SO take SD to do her thing and I take SS and my bios to do the other thing. Well, I'm not paying for a vacation for it to be like that. Any future vacations will be me and my bios. Depending on the itinerary, I would probably invite SS. In fact, this past weekend I took my bios and SS on a road trip (SO couldn't come and SD had plans with her mom)and we had so much fun.
Actually, I would love a vacation with just SO, but that will never happen. BM and her mom make changes the visitation schedule all the time, but he won't do it. Can't "rock the boat" and can't hurt SD's little feelings.
**Yes, I understand that "intact" families have kids of varying age ranges and make it work. Ostensibly, however, these parents have raised said kids to be decent little human beings, making them likeable enough for the parents to want to do nice things for them.
We took SD7 once. It was for
We took SD7 once. It was for three days. I learned an important lesson. It is not worth it to me, or them for us to go together. DH and I can go places together, and I encourage him to take trips with her. It's just easier all around.
I don't think I would be okay
I don't think I would be okay with DH going on vacation with just SD. Maybe I would feel differently if SD wasn't constantly trying to come between DH and I. If DH and SD went on a trip just the two of them, she would CONSTANTLY be talking about "when Daddy and I go..." "when Daddy and I went..." in front of me just to tick me off and try to make me jealous.
Last year we took just my two
Last year we took just my two biosons to Florida and had a great time. We all did stuff together and there was no favoritism etc. We fought for weeks though because he thought it was unfair that skids did not get to go but they go on vacations with their mom every year, my biosons had never been on a vacation ever! It was wonderful. This year he wants to take all of them to Florida and asked what I thought I said NO thanks. I'll stay home with my biosons. I cannot possibly have a good time with the skids when one of them makes things so difficult and daddy has to do everything with her and that leaves no time for me or the other kids! I'm totally against taking skids!
We take skids on our big
We take skids on our big vaca. once a year other than that NOPE they stay with their mom. We have taken just my kids lots of times and we have gone alone lots of times. But the one vaca a year we take them. Now that my kids are grown and this is the last year that they will go with us as in 'family' vaca I'm not sure how it will work b/c I plan in leaving it all up to dh to plan and take care of all details,.. }:) }:) }:) }:)
FH will not leave home
FH will not leave home without the little brats. If it does not include them then it isn't ''worth it" to go. Will be interesting to see what he does about our honeymoon because there is no way in HELL they are coming anywhere with us!
DH wants to go to the beach
DH wants to go to the beach this year, 19 hr drive with sd7, bs11, ss13, sd15. He asked "doesn't that sound like fun" I said "NOPE". There is no way that it's a vacation for me to take SD7, she is such a brat, doesn't listen, thinks she can do whatever she wants and never gets in trouble for it. I can't even imagine driving that long there and back plus a week of her getting to do whatever she wants and DH forgets about the rest of us. When I go on vacation I actually want to enjoy my time off work and not have to do more work. I would have to cook 3 meals a day and not enjoy anything at all, NO THANK YOU! He's insisting on it but every time he brings it up I just say NO and walk away. Last year he took my two BS's to Florida and he wanted NO part of the theme parks now he wants to do theme parks just because of SD7 which would leave us being separated most of the time we are there because she won't ride the rides and someone would have to stay with the other 3 (my oldest is too old for theme parks) I don't think a vacation is being separated for most part of the day and then never spending time together as husband and wife. Sometimes I just hate my life, I'm not sure I can get out of this one and I'm dreading it daily, already in my mind it's a horrible idea!
Omg my last vac was with ss
Omg my last vac was with ss 12 and he bitched and complained until the end of the day when his dad bought him a toy. I told my SO never again!!!