I'm not angry anymore...just sad and tired
BM announced that she's moving to another province with SD13....in two weeks. She sent DH an email saying that she it wasn't her choice to wait till now to tell us, her lawyer advised her to wait until all the arrangements have been made. BM and SD13 says that SD13 wants to go, no big surprise given the ongoing PA that SD has been subjected to over the years. This is the 6th move for BM and the 5th school change for SD13, so DH and I are used to this.
This all used to make me so angry, but today I just feel defeated and sad. BM says that SD13 is afraid of DH's "dangerous temper".....which breaks my heart for DH. DH would go without anything and everything for his children, he's the most devoted father I know (We also have a bio-daughter of our own together, who has also been robbed of a relationship with her sister). The idea that he has a dangerous temper...or a temper of any kind, really...is ludicrous. But, I've finally seen the depths that BM is willing to sink to make sure DH doesn't have any involvement in SD's life. It makes me sad for DH, and for SD. She needs her dad in her life now more than ever...and she's being robbed of that by a BM that can't seem to get over her anger and resentment towards DH.
I don't need to vent, I just need to cry. Why is this so unfair?? Why are some BM's like this? The whole situation is so sad for everyone involved.
P.S. DH and I have met with a lawyer, and we've decided not to fight it. We can't emotionally or financially afford a messy, drawn-out ordeal in court. We need to update the CO to change the visitation agreement, but SD13 doesn't really want to see us anyway, so I can't even see the point in that.
Omg this sounds so much like
Omg this sounds so much like our situation. BM tells the kids that DH ( who works shift work) is a terrible dad and would be there if he really cared, and tells all of her little groupies the same thing. My heart just breaks for my hubby when the kids are upset he couldn't go somewere or do something because of work.... it just crushes him. Not to mention her group of friends, that use to be THEIR group of friends, that treat him horribly whenever we attend kids events. I want to scream at all of them that she was the one that cheated, was verbally, and physically abusive. And here this idiots are taking her side, I don't get it and I have more than once wished I could fix it all and feel my heart breaking for hubbs every time.
kayro - i can understand the
kayro - i can understand the Mama Bear instinct. I'm a mother and stepmother, and I have that same instinct for both my bio daughter and SD13. But part of that instinct includes wanting what is best for both my girls....which includes having their father involved in their lives. BM seems more concerned with settling a score with DH, and I just can't understand that way of thinking. They divorced over 12 years ago, it's time to move on...especially considering she was the one who left him for another man. Instead, she's willing to drag SD13 across the whole country, chasing some promise of happiness and pulling SD further and further away from her dad.
as some of the responders have posted, i can only hope that at some point SD remembers what a good dad she has and decides to have a relationship with him...regardless of what BM does. But in the mean time, it's so hard to watch DH go through this.
I have no good advice, but I
I have no good advice, but I do offer you hugs, and many many warm thoughts and prayers for strength for you and your dh. It breaks my heart to read your story and hear of a daddy being robbed of his child.
Hugs