Summer Visit
February is coming to a close. This means the summer visit discussion will take place between my DH and his ex about SD8. DH works and I'm a stay at home mom. He's asked how I would like to set up the summer visit.
SD8 is not a pleasant child to spend large amounts of time with. She's very lazy. She refuses to eat and spends at least 2-3 hours staring at her food at the table. DH has literally had to stand over her to force her to finish meals. She doesn't know how to self entertain so she wants an adult to stimulate her (our 6 month old DD does this and we call it her dance, monkey, dance mode).
She was with us for 2 months last summer of which I spent 80-90% of the time with her myself while DH was working. This year I don't want my summer spent cleaning up her messes and in a frenzied frustrated state.
I've attempted a financial angle saying we'd have to buy an additional kids daycare pass at the gym. But that was quickly dismissed. Then DH said we'll just take her for our regular weekend visits but I think he's irritated. Not sure what to do now.
I am wondering why your DH
I am wondering why your DH asked you your opinion on this matter (what you want to do) when it appears he already has made his mind up, what answer he would like you to give?!
I hate it when they do things like this, why even bothering asking I say!
I appreciate you are a housewife but this doesnt mean you get to babysit his child for several months because he wants it. It seems you are willing to compromise but he isnt, this is selfish of him, as you dont HAVE to look after sd. You can choose to do so or not. Personally I would tell DH you are willing to compromise on the amount of time he wants her to stay (so perhaps meet him in the middle but he has to do likewise) and during the time she is at yours, its non negotiable that you need help - be that enrolling her in activities and spending some time with his family. The point is that I am sure sd would enjoy doing things too and summer activities would be good for her confidence, to get some exercise or learning something - I would sell this to DH as this would be in sd's benefit, that she has different needs in comparison to your own youngster and that you cant meet them considering you have your own child/responsibilies!
Then dig your heels in.
If he wont compromise then he doesnt want her that much then imo.
Why do these men expect us to
Why do these men expect us to spend our free time entertaining THEIR effin kids? I understand your frustration, but why is he irritated? To me, it doesn't sound like you did anything to make him that way.