The dreaded weekend visitation
I'm sure there are many out there who experience that feeling of dread in the days leading up to a visit from a skid. I find that the knot in my gut usually arrives on Wednesday; we pick up SD8 every other Friday for a weekend stay.
There are several reasons that I don't look forward to her visiting our home. First, her BM is lazy. Thus SD is as well. She's never been taught to pick up after herself. It doesn't matter where we are she will leave a huge mess and just expect the cleaning fairy to come behind her and work her magic. Second, she's a very picky eater. Not the "no Brussels sprouts" variety but the "nothing but peanut butter, spaghetti, or chicken nuggets" eater. She's so obstinate that she'll sit at the table for 2-3 hours hoping you'll wear out first. Third, she's a pest with no sense of the personal space bubble. While she's with us she hovers like one of those pesky fruit flies and it's always so close you can feel her breathing on you.
Those are just a few if her bothersome traits. She's also very much like her BM who I refer to as a succubus. A woman that becomes something else to lure an unsuspecting man into her lair then reveals her true soul sucking self. She's just 8 but her personality is the same as her BM. She looks like my DH but acts like her BM. If it were up to me she'd never come to my home and be around myself or my 7 month old DD.
My deal is a bit different,
My deal is a bit different, but then the same....my SD is a very sweet child, but she is very lazy and spoiled as they come. The biggest problem with us is that when she is here....I don't exist. They go to church together, over to friends, out to eat, etc. She is totally the wife EVERY weekend. He has gone so far as to throw some of my things out on the lawn if I object to this behavior. I am stuck back in my room while they live their life as a couple. He promised things would change but they haven't and the sad part is I want to leave....no job, no money. He told me one time that if I was unhappy he would give me the money to leave.....that isn't happening. Sorry your weekend sucks, but I get it.
Bless your heart I could not
Bless your heart
I could not deal with that .... you poor, poor thing 
I'm so sorry. You seem to be
I'm so sorry. You seem to be in a horrible predicament! If he is totally unwilling to change then I would start stashing money so you can leave. Don't stay in that situation.
Yes, poor thing, but
Yes, poor thing, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Mini-wife SD is not giving you a base to run a relationship with your SO.Did he loose his mind??
It's his fault not SD's but you need to change things around.
This is totally unacceptable for you and also SD and shows a very unhealthy imbalance.
Get Stepmonster and arm up with education about Stepfamilies.
My SD was practically thinking that she and I were on the same level, it took ages to find any emotionally room in our rs when she was around.SO finally did change everything around that needed to be changed, otherwise I wouldn't have lasted. Now I can (most of the times) breath a bit when she is here.Just keep in mind- it is not the kids fault to behave like that, it is the lack of proper parenting!
So my DH says he doesn't
So my DH says he doesn't really want SD to come over this weekend. When pressed he said that her visits have become tedious and tiresome. He's got to work on Saturdays so he really only sees her in the evening and most of that time is spent fighting with her about not eating her dinner or cleaning.
The SD does the same thing. I
The SD does the same thing. I know from personal experience that cleaning habits are derived from your upbringing. Dirty parents generally equal dirty kids. SD always has an excuse why she can't remember to clean up after herself. I dislike her coming over so if DH chooses to stop visits I won't be upset.
These are so funny. I sit
These are so funny. I sit waiting Sunday night for my ss to go home so I can wash all the linens and lysol the furniture. Lol.
We have had 3 SD free weeks
We have had 3 SD free weeks and weekends. It's been wonderful. Unfortunately the party will be ending next weekend. Last Friday DH told me he would cut her visits down to just Saturday afternoon and Sunday so that I wouldn't have to spend so much time alone with her. Then last night we discussed it and suddenly he's changed his mind. He said he thinks that's going to cut into his time with her too much because of pick up and drop off. I let it go for the moment and will revisit it on Wednesday or Thursday. I just find that my weekend is ruined by her presence and it really sucks that it is happening twice a month.
I have my skids every weekend
I have my skids every weekend and hate every min, i feel all ur pain and glad im not alone, I agree that im gonna start stashing money and looking into housing options so that i can escape when i have enough then yest the skids may still come but at least i know im working on getting out and i will have the last laugh
hmmmm, how come all those
hmmmm, how come all those SD's seem to sit at the tables for hours???Mine does the same, and SO sits right next to her staring at her, she talks virtually non-stop and they discuss every bite she takes together.
With all this attention she gets at the table, why would she change it?I wouldn't if I were her.
Whatever!! But I told him off when he spoonfed her a few times!!!!She is 7, excuse me!lol
Well the weekend is
Well the weekend is over...and that is good for most of you, but now is when my steps come. So jealous of those of you who have freedom now!
We've had 3 wonderfully SD
We've had 3 wonderfully SD free weekends. It's been so calm and stress free. BUT now we've reached Tuesday and the serenity of those weeks is about to be washed away when Friday arrives.
Fortunately DH and I have had several talks about this situation. He has realized that her presence is incredibly disruptive to our family. He said that she's become so much like her BM that, despite the fact that she's his biological child, he finds it very difficult to like her. He also said that our own DH, who is just 7 months old, is incredibly cranky the entire time SD is in our home. His belief is that we're so tense the entire time that our behavior with her changes and causes her distress.
Long story short ... her every other weekend visits will continue but she won't be spending any additional time in our home. No Spring break, Summer vacation, or Christmas break visits.
I know you guys are all
I know you guys are all venting about your stepkids coming over, but it's quite an eye opener. I live with DW and stepkids, we dread the week we send them to BD's because the kids are hell on wheels, I suppose in anticipation of the weekend...but I don't know if they're anticipating the tension when we swap kids out or if they're ready to have no rules at BD's or what! We ensure the kids clean up and pick up after themselves here, yes ma'am/no sir...but I guess they could be throwing it out the window on the way down to BD's for the 48 hours they're there?? I wonder. Sorry you guys have had such a rough go of visits, I just found this so fascinating to read.
I have had both SS every
I have had both SS every weekend their whole childhood up until 16 yr old refused to come over, we are too mean, we actually have expectations and rules and he did not react to that. When I say rules: you actually shower and take basic care of your body, you sleep at night not play on your laptop until 4 then wake at 3 in the afternoon. I dread the weekends and my spouse sees this and gets mad at me. I am screwed all around
I understand how you feel. My
I understand how you feel. My sd has all the same personality traits as you just described and she lives with my husband and myself all the time. So the weekend visition you dread is my entire existance. I do feel for you. It's not easy when you know the child is nothing but a devil. I would be glad if we could get every second weekend alone and have 12 days with her and 2 days without but my situation is so dire, even this isn't possible.