almost 2 years and still counting, I talk to the oldest all the time, the youngest is still mad he had to get a job and pay for his own expenses really don't care if I ever talk to him again, he has some major ass kissing to do if he ever thinks he's going to darken my doorstep again after threatening me and calling me filthy names and trashing my husband and me on Facebook
All three kids went about 5 years without any contact with their dad. It might have been longer for the youngest SS. None of them have visited our home in over 6 years. The only reason they started having contact was my SIL butting in and trying to get my Dh to help them deal with some problems with his former MIL.
They don't need money, so there's no reason they come around.
SD has not contacted DH since her melt down December, 2011 even though DH called repeatedly. He finally caught her at home a few months ago although she has still not tried to contact him. No Birthday card / call, no Father's Day card / call, same for Christmas. After Christmas, it appears he is getting tired of the game. I've not seen him call her lately. As for me, I could care less if I ever hear from her again. Unlike Whimsey6, DH did not stick up for me so unless he can tell her in front of me that she is to respect me as his wife, she will not be welcome in our home.
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives - he goes visits his kids 3-4 times a year, talks to them on his cellphone and never involves me in anything going on with them and then he has his life with me and my kids that his kids aren't involved with. It all works for him, except he is saying that its fine for his kids to be rude to me and not accept me as their father's wife.
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives - he goes visits his kids 3-4 times a year, talks to them on his cellphone and never involves me in anything going on with them and then he has his life with me and my kids that his kids aren't involved with. It all works for him, except he is saying that its fine for his kids to be rude to me and not accept me as their father's wife.
Two years, until SD contacted us. We then had contact with SD for about 8 months, then she asked to move back home. It has been downhill every since. I feel everyone's pain who has DH who doesn't care about the respect of their children towards step parents. I lived that nightmare for 15 years, it was like a prison sentence. I kept thinking to myself, there is light at the end of the tunnel and my DH will have to open his eyes sometime in life. Well, he finally did, and yes, we actually separated for a couple of months because of SD (even though, I said it wasn't SD fault, when SD asked me if it was). DH finally woke up or shall I say opened his eyes and really noticed SD rude, ignorant ways. We are in the process now of going into another out spell with SD, which I think will be my final time. I am going to phase myself out of her life for both of our well being. We are toxic together and I can not disrespect myself any longer by being in her presence.
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives -
Welcome to my world Christag. It has been 6 months since I told SD never to come back here again. DH didn't speak to any of his kids over Christmas, but I know he did call all three of them once he went back to work after the holidays. Just another sneaky day on the job.
He is well aware I will not tolerate the seperate life rubbish because his daughter wants it that way. He has told his kids horrible lies, and God only knows what they think, but his lies should not impact on my life, and they will not anymore. Either he man's up and tells us all the truth and we see if we can work it out. Or he lives here and has not contact in my home with SD and he does not go sneaking around there when he needs to be home. He is well aware if he does that and I hear about it or see it (they only live 5 minutes away), he is out on his ear. Not because he had contact with his daughter, but because he is aware I will not live with him while he runs two seperate famiies. I have made him aware twice now that if he misses his children I get it, I would die if I were in his position, so he is more than free to go, I will not be vindictive or make it hard, I get it. But he cannot stay here and sneak behind my back to make his daughter happy, he needs to stay here and teach his daughter, her place, manners, and respect for him and for myself, and make his wife happy. Good Lord this daughter is 30 in a de facto relationship has a child of her own and her 34 year old brother lives with them, she is not short of men to help out, but she still wants daddy.
Not doing the two families thing at all - I would rather he went and lived with his daughter than suffer through that.
now that's she's grown and gone, several months. i swear when she left this house, it was like an exorcism had been done. so much negativity and heaviness went with her. i could breathe again!
Okay thanks ladies..My dh has gone since nov since he has talked to his stepmom and dad. After much thought and prayer they i feel that my inlaws need to reach out to us. And im am yes willing to try to play happy family if i can find a way to trust my dh parents..thanks again
I could not agree with this ^^^^^^^^^^ more. I also assumed you were a stepmom....
Almost 2 years ago, my FDH's son stopped speaking to him. He said he will not speak to him again until he gets rid of the f******* whore/bitch-that would be me. I have never met this person, who is now 18. At first, my FDH was incredibly hurt, but as more time goes by, the hurt is lessening. His son has posted terrible things about us on Facebook, and except for enabling, my FDH is a fantastic father. He just has horrible children who take after BM.
As StepAside said, you cannot expect things to go back to normal once your husband begins speaking to his dad again. It won't be normal. My FDH's children are not even allowed in my home because of their actions. I don't care what they say about me, but I care about my FDH's feelings, and you can bet that the son who has not talked to him will NOT come in here expecting to be welcomed with open arms. That will never happen. I do not trust him, and I never will. And I do not know if my FDH will again. The things that have been said about us, and the ultimatum to get rid of me were very powerful, and they won't be able to be washed aside easily.
I hope you can mend your family, but it may be a long road.
We hear from SD22 from time to time.....I haven't heard from SS24 for almost a year and I'm LOVING it. He calls and texts my DH for money (as always) about two-three times a month. After the crap he pulled when he lived with us, never hearing his voice again would be totally fine with me. SD doesn't bug me....she acts her age and honestly cares how her dad is. SS can vanish into thin air for all I care.
Have only spoken to SS22 in a year and 1/2 - drug addict and I will have nothing to do with him. My DH has not heard from him in 2 months after he walked out of the rehab (again). DH cut off cell phone, money and health insurance. So I can only assume SS22 assumes why bother - they will to give me any money.
5 Lovely days and counting!!!! woohoo, no more passive agressive SD for me, hopefully she won't come crawling back and even if she does she can kiss my butt, I'm DONE!!!!! She is not allowed in my house, nor her child and she is definatley not allowed to see my DS of 3 yrs old, I will not have him tainted by her evilness!!!!!!!
I also feel that since my SD is so disrespectful towards me I don't need her presence in my house, I also dont want her near my 1/7Months son cause shes evil, she has caused alot of drama between me and my man....
almost 2 years and still
almost 2 years and still counting, I talk to the oldest all the time, the youngest is still mad he had to get a job and pay for his own expenses really don't care if I ever talk to him again, he has some major ass kissing to do if he ever thinks he's going to darken my doorstep again after threatening me and calling me filthy names and trashing my husband and me on Facebook
All three kids went about 5
All three kids went about 5 years without any contact with their dad. It might have been longer for the youngest SS. None of them have visited our home in over 6 years. The only reason they started having contact was my SIL butting in and trying to get my Dh to help them deal with some problems with his former MIL.
They don't need money, so there's no reason they come around.
SD has not contacted DH since
SD has not contacted DH since her melt down December, 2011 even though DH called repeatedly. He finally caught her at home a few months ago although she has still not tried to contact him. No Birthday card / call, no Father's Day card / call, same for Christmas. After Christmas, it appears he is getting tired of the game. I've not seen him call her lately. As for me, I could care less if I ever hear from her again. Unlike Whimsey6, DH did not stick up for me so unless he can tell her in front of me that she is to respect me as his wife, she will not be welcome in our home.
My Dh doesn't care how
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives - he goes visits his kids 3-4 times a year, talks to them on his cellphone and never involves me in anything going on with them and then he has his life with me and my kids that his kids aren't involved with. It all works for him, except he is saying that its fine for his kids to be rude to me and not accept me as their father's wife.
My Dh doesn't care how
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives - he goes visits his kids 3-4 times a year, talks to them on his cellphone and never involves me in anything going on with them and then he has his life with me and my kids that his kids aren't involved with. It all works for him, except he is saying that its fine for his kids to be rude to me and not accept me as their father's wife.
I made a mistake - SD has not
I made a mistake - SD has not contacted DH since before Christmas of 2010.
Two years, until SD contacted
Two years, until SD contacted us. We then had contact with SD for about 8 months, then she asked to move back home. It has been downhill every since. I feel everyone's pain who has DH who doesn't care about the respect of their children towards step parents. I lived that nightmare for 15 years, it was like a prison sentence. I kept thinking to myself, there is light at the end of the tunnel and my DH will have to open his eyes sometime in life. Well, he finally did, and yes, we actually separated for a couple of months because of SD (even though, I said it wasn't SD fault, when SD asked me if it was). DH finally woke up or shall I say opened his eyes and really noticed SD rude, ignorant ways. We are in the process now of going into another out spell with SD, which I think will be my final time. I am going to phase myself out of her life for both of our well being. We are toxic together and I can not disrespect myself any longer by being in her presence.
My Dh doesn't care how
My Dh doesn't care how disrespectful his kids are to me. After 5 years, he basically decided that it was ok for him to have 2 separate lives -
Welcome to my world Christag. It has been 6 months since I told SD never to come back here again. DH didn't speak to any of his kids over Christmas, but I know he did call all three of them once he went back to work after the holidays. Just another sneaky day on the job.
He is well aware I will not tolerate the seperate life rubbish because his daughter wants it that way. He has told his kids horrible lies, and God only knows what they think, but his lies should not impact on my life, and they will not anymore. Either he man's up and tells us all the truth and we see if we can work it out. Or he lives here and has not contact in my home with SD and he does not go sneaking around there when he needs to be home. He is well aware if he does that and I hear about it or see it (they only live 5 minutes away), he is out on his ear. Not because he had contact with his daughter, but because he is aware I will not live with him while he runs two seperate famiies. I have made him aware twice now that if he misses his children I get it, I would die if I were in his position, so he is more than free to go, I will not be vindictive or make it hard, I get it. But he cannot stay here and sneak behind my back to make his daughter happy, he needs to stay here and teach his daughter, her place, manners, and respect for him and for myself, and make his wife happy. Good Lord this daughter is 30 in a de facto relationship has a child of her own and her 34 year old brother lives with them, she is not short of men to help out, but she still wants daddy.
Not doing the two families thing at all - I would rather he went and lived with his daughter than suffer through that.
now that's she's grown and
now that's she's grown and gone, several months. i swear when she left this house, it was like an exorcism had been done. so much negativity and heaviness went with her. i could breathe again!
Okay thanks ladies..My dh has
Okay thanks ladies..My dh has gone since nov since he has talked to his stepmom and dad. After much thought and prayer they i feel that my inlaws need to reach out to us. And im am yes willing to try to play happy family if i can find a way to trust my dh parents..thanks again
I could not agree with this
I could not agree with this ^^^^^^^^^^ more. I also assumed you were a stepmom....
Almost 2 years ago, my FDH's son stopped speaking to him. He said he will not speak to him again until he gets rid of the f******* whore/bitch-that would be me. I have never met this person, who is now 18. At first, my FDH was incredibly hurt, but as more time goes by, the hurt is lessening. His son has posted terrible things about us on Facebook, and except for enabling, my FDH is a fantastic father. He just has horrible children who take after BM.
As StepAside said, you cannot expect things to go back to normal once your husband begins speaking to his dad again. It won't be normal. My FDH's children are not even allowed in my home because of their actions. I don't care what they say about me, but I care about my FDH's feelings, and you can bet that the son who has not talked to him will NOT come in here expecting to be welcomed with open arms. That will never happen. I do not trust him, and I never will. And I do not know if my FDH will again. The things that have been said about us, and the ultimatum to get rid of me were very powerful, and they won't be able to be washed aside easily.
I hope you can mend your family, but it may be a long road.
We hear from SD22 from time
We hear from SD22 from time to time.....I haven't heard from SS24 for almost a year and I'm LOVING it. He calls and texts my DH for money (as always) about two-three times a month. After the crap he pulled when he lived with us, never hearing his voice again would be totally fine with me. SD doesn't bug me....she acts her age and honestly cares how her dad is. SS can vanish into thin air for all I care.
Have only spoken to SS22 in a
Have only spoken to SS22 in a year and 1/2 - drug addict and I will have nothing to do with him. My DH has not heard from him in 2 months after he walked out of the rehab (again). DH cut off cell phone, money and health insurance. So I can only assume SS22 assumes why bother - they will to give me any money.
5 Lovely days and
5 Lovely days and counting!!!! woohoo, no more passive agressive SD for me, hopefully she won't come crawling back and even if she does she can kiss my butt, I'm DONE!!!!! She is not allowed in my house, nor her child and she is definatley not allowed to see my DS of 3 yrs old, I will not have him tainted by her evilness!!!!!!!
I also feel that since my SD
I also feel that since my SD is so disrespectful towards me I don't need her presence in my house, I also dont want her near my 1/7Months son cause shes evil, she has caused alot of drama between me and my man....