Just need to whine...
One of the things that bugs me about bf is how I don't exist when he has his kids. Most weekends I busy myself with kid stuff and it's no big deal. Last night he vented to me about bm crap and said he'd call me later on- like before bed. Never called. Went to my son's bball game this morning and he still hadn't called. I txted him, called him. Nothing. I was planning on taking my kids to his son's bball game, which was RIGHT after my son's, but in another town. Since I hadn't heard from him, we just went home. To top it off, my exh didn't show up to my son's bball game even tho I JUST spoke to him last night and he said (like always) he would be there.
So I realize, AGAIN, how I'm always rushing to go to bf's son's games, but bf isn't too concerned with my kids' stuff when he has his kids. Why is it that I care more about his kids' stuff than he does mine? I mean, literally two weeks ago i got my kids up early to go to his son's game with him, and then we had to rush to get my son to his game on time. But he doesn't think to do that for me. So I realize that what it comes down to is that my kids can only count on me. Not bf, not their dad. Me. And it's going to piss me off even more when I need help coming up on a Saturday and bf will not be able to because even though it's not his wknd with his kids, he will HAVE to choose his son's bball game over helping me out with my son, because it's not enough that his son's mom, grandma, AND grandpa will all be there to watch him. I'm so tired of my kids being first to NOBODY but me. I'm tired of being first to NOBODY. But SO glad I have decided to stay single because if i was married into this I would be even more miserable. I know he isn't their stepdad, but he's more dad to my kids than their real dad, until his kids are with him, that is. I hate it.
Thanks. I'll be talking to
Thanks. I'll be talking to him about it tonight after his kids are gone. We have been here before, but for some reason we end up right back here. I can't decide if I should just stop going to his kids' stuff so I don't expect him to come to mine, or I keep on going and accept this is how he is. What do you think? Right now I feel like a dumping ground for bm drama, but other than that (and sex) he is incoherent that I exist. I mean, I've been dealing with things he has NO clue about because he's been so wrapped up in bm drama and upcoming court that it hasn't even occurred to him that I've got things going on that I could use his support for. So I've let it go and now have the biggest headache for the 3rd day from all the stress. I've already told him to leave the drama at the door, but we've got to have that talk again now, too. OMG you people that are married to this crap should have a freakin holiday for steps. LOL
He doesn't sound like a good
He doesn't sound like a good boyfriend and certainly not partner material. You deserve way better.
If I were you (but then I am a different breed of cat) I would stop going to his kids game and just concentrate on your kids. I would communicate to BF exactly how you feel. Be open, honest and transparent. Personally, a man that is THAT wrapped up in himself is very unattractive. Get over yourself buddy! If he can't be "bothered" by you and your needs, that is a huge red flag to me. He doesn't sound like he is worth the drama...but that is not my judgment call, it's yours. Good luck hon!
Thanks, stuck. The drama has
Thanks, stuck. The drama has increased recently bc court is coming up. So that part has gotten worse and he IS wrapped up in himself. But I'm hoping after court (which just got pushed back AGAIN) things will go back to "normal." But even before, he was pretty self-centered, but only when he had his kids. OMG now that I think about all the issues surrounding his kids and bm I wanna scream.
I will be putting my kids first. I do enjoy going to his son's games, but yesterday my kids didn't even want to go, so IDK why I would go for me and have to drag them along. I have been feeling bad about some things in the past, too, where I put my kids second (and their dad is HORRIBLE about it) so maybe this is about me and not so much the bf. Even listening to the bm drama affects my kids because it makes me grumpy and then they have to deal with that. But he NEVER lets any of that affect his kids. I have told him he needs to stay at his apartment if he can't leave the drama at the door. Guess I will have to reiterate.