OT- EXH-passive agressive
Not as much a rant, just an observation.
My exh is custodial of our son ( now for 1&1/2 years)and I am custodial of our daughter, they are both teens. We live over 2 hours apart, so there is travel time that comes with visitation both ways and with both kids. Son has asthma, and gets sick alot.
Exh texted before noon and said "son was sick, do I still want him for the weekend?"
Now this is where his passive agressive starts- no info on whether son is running a fever, no info on whether exh plans on taking him to the doctor- just that text.
My text in response-"What is wrong"- thinking I might get a response that will give me the answer to whether son should stay home
Exh's response-" His throat is killing him"
Ok...still not enough info...so I inquire further-"Is he running a fever? Is he at home? Are you going to take him to the doctor?"
Exh's response-"He is at school. Just called. No fever."
Me, ever increasingly frustrated not to get an answer I can make a decision to, not wanting to play his passive agressive pulling teeth game to get good info on to make a decision.
Me-" Do you want to reschedule for next weekend so you can take him to the doctor today?"
Exh's response- "Sure"
My response- "ok- let me know what the doctor says- whether it is his asthma or something else. Have son call me tonight please.
Bottom line is that I am only glad to have to deal with his passive agressiveness on occassions! Thank fuck!!!!!
All conversations with him go
All conversations with him go like this- not just texts. He purposely gives little info so that he can say that I didn't want son to come visit or ect as the convo of the moment. And yes this has happened when son would get sick on a thursday or friday, while I was custodial- what did I do? I made decisions, went and picked son up from school, took him to the doctor, and texted Exh and gave him all the info he needed to make a decision on whether he wanted to have our son that weekend. Whether son had strep or flu, or had to have breathing treatments all weekend at 3 hours apart- he knew all the info- because I didn't play the passive game.
Ohh gawd... I could go on and
Ohh gawd... I could go on and on about those things too! LOL, who the fuck buys an $800 vacumn...lol...who the fuck spends all your rent money on meth, and pawns my valuables without my knowlege...lol!
I guess I didn't make myself clear that his M/O is this - and even something so simple as being able to discern whether our son is sick enough to see a doctor is a problem.
BS spent 4 days in the hospital when he was 13 for a severe asthma attack, exh did not travel to our town to see him. Exh, still to this day, does not take BS's asthma seriously, and never has.
So, I worry when Bs is sick, because a sore throat can go into a full out asthma attack really quick.
I guess my peeve is that he
I guess my peeve is that he could have explained that he didn't know what was wrong, explained that he did or didn't want to keep son for a doctors appt. or not. Make a decision.
As with all of us on here who have dealt with sick kiddos, I just wanted to know whether it was asthma sick or communicable like strep/ebola whatever? I don't want to get sick if I can help it and I want him to be comfortable in his bed, and the parental thing to do, IMO, is to keep him at exh's house if it is communicable, asthma- send him- because I will take care of it. But to text me and ask that question - well figure out if son is communicable or not FIRST.
To add to that...he is the
To add to that...he is the custodial parent now, like I was for all the young years- can he not make a decision to take son to the doctor either before we are to meet or tell me he is going to take him this afternoon and ask me if we can reschedule? I mean you are the parent- make a decision.
My mother spent $2000.00 on a
My mother spent $2000.00 on a vacuum cleaner. Yes! She is crazy. Does Exh ever use BS as a excuse to not make the drive? How does BD feel about this. My SS is allergic to dogs. When he lived with BMs he would come to us sick EOW. I would give him medicine and by the time we sent him home he was getting better. When Dh got custody SS is hardly ever sick anymore. We didn't know at the time it was the dogs because we had not been in Bms house. Just saying. In my experience with men, and I should say I know this is not true for all men. They just don't follow through and ask question, or get information.