I Would Like Your Opinion Re: Live-In Adult Stepchildren Paying Rent
My adult stepdaughter (who has Asperger's syndrome) finally got a full time job (yay her!) She moved in with my husband and I 16 months ago and has been unemployed for almost two years.
She got the job through Voc. Rehab and it pays $8.50 an hour. I don't know if she'll ever be offered benefits of any sort. Thankfully, she has health insurance through her mother.
Before she was working she did a (very) little housework (with prodding) and received food stamps. Her unemployment covered her car insurance and cell phone and that's about it. Now that she's working full time she's doing even less housework. I'm waiting for her to get through the probationary period before bringing the discussion of rent up to her (my husband agrees with me about this).
Considering her personality -- particularly combined with her autism -- I don't really envision her ever moving out, which is fine. But reality is what it is and we are far from well to do. So I was just wondering, what do you other parents/stepparents feel about charging your adult children rent ... and perhaps more importantly, how do you go about deciding what is a fair amount to charge?
As a beginning I worked out one year of one third of water/cable/electric and that came to $227 a month.
I'd just appreciate some opinions.
I think this is a good idea.
I think this is a good idea. My oldest is an Aspie and they still can be independent and this will help her learn. You guys can't be around forever and this will help her learn responsibility. I think 1/3rd of the bills is appropriate.
She won't get a better deal
She won't get a better deal out on her own! When I was in college and moved back home for a while, I paid my parents rent. I went to school full time and worked part time. My mom paid for school, so paying rent to her and my dad was a win-win for all of us.
I really appreciate
I really appreciate everyone's input, I feel a lot better.
I checked the prices for renting rooms in our area and the average seems to be about $500. I did forget to factor in heating oil, it's tough to gauge since prices are all over the place, but $50 a month seems about right.
I very much want to be fair but the income is needed. After her rent and bills she should still have about two weeks pay at the end of every month, that's nothing to sneeze at (way more than DH and I have!)
it would also probably be a
it would also probably be a good idea to sit and teach her how to budget using a work sheet and help her start a savings account. I know my Aspie does great with worksheets, charts, graphs, and lists. I have a monthly calendar on the wall for me to track my bills and he reminds me daily what bills are due what day and then asks to make sure I paid it on time LMAO. I like it b/c I feel like it's a GREAT way for him to learn before he grows up and is on his own. Aspie kids are highly intelligent, just need focus and to be taught things in a way they can understand!
I think that amount is more
I think that amount is more than fair. Hell my perfectly able-bodied SD22 is supposed to be paying $250 a month for rent and she can't even manage that.
My children paid nothing
My children paid nothing while they worked part time jobs and attended school. As soon as they left school and went to work full time they were expected to contribute to the househould. I had a set amount of $50 per week. This left them all with well over $100 spending money for themselves from which I insisted they save $20 per week (still laugh to think they all just did this without question).
My thinking behind this was simply to teach them what goes on in the real world. When you live somewhere you have to pay for it, and you still have to save money to buy things, like a house, furniture car etc., while you are paying your rent.
For their $50 they got a fully serviced room, a live in maid, fully cooked meals, and everything done, washing, ironing, etc., no where else would they get such a sweet deal. There were still certain odd jobs around the house they had to perform despite the fact they were paying board (rent).
So now all in their thirties all home owners, 1 owns home outright, no mortgage, one is almost mortgage free, and one is about half way to being mortgage free...........Why because they learnt from a young age, nothing is for free, no one is going to supply you with luxuries, so start saving and if you want to live in someone's house, you had better damn well learn to work as a team.
I had friends who took board (rent) and saved the entire amount up and gave it to their kids when they got married, but NEVER told the kids about the money, wonderful idea if you can affor it, most of us cannot
I had other friends who saved the money up, but told the kids the money they were taking from them for board was going into a bank account for them.
My kids, and the kids who never knew the money was being saved up for them have made good financial decisions, the kids who knew the money was being saved, of all the ones I still know, none of them have been able to save for one thing, all adult still sponging off mum and dad, still living at home, and mum and dad still saving up for them. The only good thing I can say about these kids is they are a helluva lot smarter than mum and dad, they know the money is growing in their bank accounts and they don't have to spend it on anything because mum and dad are still buying things for them. In short, they have grown up to be greedy manipulators.
I agree, she should pay
I agree, she should pay something. You and DH should discuss what is fair/what you need and come up with a figure you can both live with. I absolutely agree with "emotionaly beat up" she won't get a better deal anywhere else.