I need help and suggestions
I have been with my SO for almost 2 years, he has a D5 and I find it very hard to tolerate her as she is rude, moody and manipulative. A few days ago, after weeks of me bickering to SO about little things (because I dare not tell him my real feelings) I told him how I feel about SD, I said that I feel resentful as when she is here he hardly has time for me and I hate him having contact with BM even though it is only about the child. I felt better after opening up and SO said he will do what he can to make my life as easy as possible with regards to SD and contact with BM. But he says after weeks of bickering he just feels worn down and I have noticed he is no longer telling me that he loves me (unless I say it first) he is no longer texting me, unless I text him first and all the caring and loving things he used to say and do have stopped, I told him this and he says in time it will get better and he will be back to his old self and that he feels if I love him as much as I say I do, I wouldn't have spent weeks bickering and causing him to be down in the dumps. I said I was sorry and now that I have been honest I no longer feel the need to bicker, he knows the real problems I have now.
I am just wondering what to do now, I feel I have blown it, he says I haven't but things are just different and the more I try and put it right, the further away from me he seems to move.
Any idea's??
If he thinks a few weeks of
If he thinks a few weeks of bickering is a cue to end the relationship, he is never going to have a relationship with anyone! Being with someone with a child from a previous liaison is hard, especially if they are around a lot, and behave badly. HE is behaving like a spoilt brat, IMHO. How else are you supposed to work things out, if you can't have an honest discussion of the issues?
Does he not have a role in ensuring his young child is not rude and disrespectful to either of you? I would say he has blown it, not you.
If he thinks a few weeks of
If he thinks a few weeks of bickering is a cue to end the relationship, he is never going to have a relationship with anyone!
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To me...it does not sounds like this is what is happening. Maybe he really can't take whay she had to say about his kid...?
Well, I think that maybe you
Well, I think that maybe you did. But, the question is, "Should you care?"
First, if this girl got on your nerves and is the brat you say she is, bickering isn't the answer. It's too late to suck those words back into your mouth, but you probably should have just come out with the truth. Your daughter means the world to you and I would like to get along with her, but her behavior makes it impossible. Maybe she and I need a very slow breaking in period so she can get used to the idea of me being around. YOU have to step back bit and give up time with him. He would be alone with his kid, dealing with her by himself (and her attitude) ALONE!!! Trust me, he would much easier see her flaws if he was to deal with her alone, AND he no one was around bickering about her. Parents immediately get defensive when you find flaws in their kids. Shit, we all do.
At this point, if he's ignoring you this way, he's probably thinking that the relationship has no chance because, "you don't like his kid." He needs to hear that you want it to work. If you really just want him and not the kid...it will not work.