My bf's daughter (12) came to stay with us during the holiday break. We picked her up and went to my bf's bro's house for Christmas day. My bf rushed us out of the house so fast we didn't even have time to open our gifts before we left. He was in a frenzy.
I just blew it off bc I knew he was just anxious to get on the road and see his family.
The day started off with the sd creating drama about all the gifts she got including her new designer purse and the newest cell phone. She couldn't stay off the phone.
I was apalled that they felt that the kid needed a new phone when the one she had was fine. New bike, new skates, new clothes. She had a pretty decent haul before my bf even presented his gifts.
His family gave her money and some gifts. Plus bf's dad gave her 2 pairs of shoes and money. She was bragging about all the money on the way home.
At some point she made my bf mad bc she was in the bathroom texting her mom. He has said that this has to stop bc it interferes with his parenting time which is short.

I finally asked in the car on the way home if something was wrong bc I really thought I'd done someone since he was being so grouchy. He confided later that it was not me.

The big thing I had a problem with this time during the visit was the sd's rudeness, interrupting us all the time and her hanging all over my bf when we all sit down to watch a movie.

The first night, I sat in my usual spot on the sofa with my bf, he sat down with me and we proceeded to watch a movie. About halfway through, the sd inserted herself into the tiny space between him and his end of the sofa.
I ended up having to move down and you know how that goes. Finally, after a bathroom break, I came back into the room to see that now there was really not a lot of space for me on the sofa. So I stupidly sat on the loveseat.

I will admit this was a dumb move for me. I should have horned my way back in where I belonged.

I sat there for a few mins watching the movie that I had seen a 100 times but that I really liked. Finally, when it was over, I exited to the room, I was ill from watching the sd fill my spot on the sofa with her dad.

I guess what irked me the most was that I had been sitting there with him, he had thrown my legs over his. Well, later when I ventured a look..she was sitting there in the exact same position. Not his doing but her's.
It annoys me that she sits down in the exact same position with her legs about 2 inches from his balls. I mean.. really??

I went to my room and went to bed.

Moving on to the next night.. pretty much the same thing happened. She was all over him when it came time for movie night. We did go to a friend's dinner party and the sd acted as she normally does....like she's 6 -8 instead of 12.

I had to actually call my bf on the phone toward the end of the party bc he had disappeared for over an hour.

Oh.... they were outside talking. A heart to heart he called it. Apparently, the sd finally decided to just unload on him about all this stuff. How she was upset that "he made her mom upset". Whatever. BS.

I point out to him that no one cares if he is upset and my listening to the bs he is not doing her any favors. He's only giving credence to their manipulation and bs.

Like I said.. same crap that evening. I stayed in the bedroom and watched tv all evening. At one point, the doorbell rings, my dog jumps up to bark.
As this happens, the sd yells my name out at my door. I'm thinking that there is someone at the door for me.. so I sit up in the bed. At this exact same time I'm trying to watch the last 40 seconds of my tv show, it was pretty intense!!

The sd barges in my room.... says.. hey, what's going on? And starts looking around the room at stuff. As if she's looking for something. I say.. I'm watching my show. What is it? She says... oh nothing. I then realized that the doorbell was her and her dad playing around. And that she's only in there to bother me. So I responded... ok then in a very snappy tone. Still trying to see the ending of my show.

She looks at me then turns and walks out. As she goes into the other room, I hear her talking about me not wanting to be bothered and bring snappy to her.
No feedback from the bf. I think he knew I was at my limit.
He didn't come to bed until almost 1am. I don't even know what time he sent her to bed.

The next day, I decided that I was taking back my space. I'll be damned if I let some 12 year old scooch me out of my place with my bf.

So that whole day I made it my job to be a pain in her ass. I corrected her every time she screwed up or did something stupid. If she interrupted me I walked out of the room. Finally, that evening I was informed that the princess wanted to watch a movie. And he had promised. I then stated to him that it would be nice if he would include me in the decision making process instead of just assuming that I'm a small child and have to follow or do what I'm told.
I think at that moment he realized....oops.. this is not good. So we watched a different movie. Not one that she wanted.
And I sat by my bf. Sd sat on the loveseat pretty much the entire movie until she "got scared". Whatever. I just hate pretenders.

Regardless, things went much better at that point. My bf was kinda irritated at one point and said he thought that I might be being too overly negative. This was after I almost yelled at the kid for stepping on the hose that went from the propane tank to the fire where a huge pot of oil was heating.
I just blew that off and said.. you're trip the er, not mine.

He's improved somewhat. Seems that the disengaging doesn't work as well for me. When I do that then they totally ignore me.
I talked to my bf. Told him that I don't like to be negative but that his daughter doesn't seem to get any correction or discipline from anyone. I explained to him that she does what she wants and when she doesn't get it she throws a huge hissy.
I asked him if that was ok for me to do too?? Because I was tired of feeling like the maid while she was there. She never does any sort of chores whatsoever.

While I think that I probably made the kid really mad bc this means she doesn't own the place. She still did some stuff that really pissed me off too.
She is a spoiled brat. My bf sees that but he still makes excuses. I'm really not worried bc I realize that it won't be long before the crap really hits the fan with little miss brat when she hits the teen years for realz.

Anyways, thank you to several of you who've really supported me and answered my questions. I'm sorry this was so long but I wanted to just get it off my chest and out of my mind. My way of moving past the irritation from her visit. The good thing... I won't have to spend anymore extended time with her until next Christmas!!
Yay!!