my therapist's advice...maybe need a new therapist? idk, what do u all think?
i had posted recently about failing at life and basically laying the blame on bf, sd, bm, and of course myself. i only see my therapist like once a month so today's visit i talked about how i basically failed at school this semester and lost financial aid for next semester, talked to her about my feelings on WHY it happened, ect.
she said it sounds like i am burnt out and that going to school right now may not be the best thing for me, and i should get a job somewhere to have my own money and feel independant. she said that with what i have been dealing with with sd, how bd is still pretty dependant due to her disabilities, not having a great relationship with bf because of sd, having no real support system, then maybe i need to take a step back on just concentrate on bd as i have been, get a parttime job that doesnt require much of me, and just save money. she thinks the pressures of school and everything else may be too much for me.
i really dont know how to take this advice. i mean, i dont want to dumb myself down. i signed up for school 3 yrs ago because i NEEDED to feel as if i was contributing financially at least twice a year (FA refund) and that i was doing something with my life besides cleaning the house, taking care of kids, cooking, laundry (basically a 1950's housewife). bd was able to go to pre-k so i decided to go to school myself. before that i was taking her to speech, occupational, behavioral and physical therapies 3 times a week each. so i really didnt have time between that and the household responsibilities to go to work or school.
i feel like a failure cause there are plenty of people out there (single moms especially) who maintain jobs, school, and childcare responsibilities....
i am going to school for human services. personally, i have come to not really be able to stand people and want to work with animals. bf thinks that if i change my career path i wasted the last 3yrs of my life on the human services degree.
I know how you feel. I got my
I know how you feel. I got my degree in Psychology. It took me seven years to get a four year degree. Then after I got it, I didn't want to use it. People got on my nerves.
My degree and knowledge do help me deal with my skids though.
I say your therapist is correct. You sound burnt out. This doesn't mean you are forever doomed to never go to school again.
Your degree in Human Services can actually be helpful towards working with animals,(if you have taken courses like developmental psychology, etc.) especially if you are working with helping people learn to train their dogs.
I know a couple of people who are dog behavior specialists, and they consistently say it is easy to train the dog, it is the OWNER who is the problem!
Getting people to understand their dog, and how to relate to a dog in "dog language" - can be a real challenge. If a person isn't consistent in how they deal with their dog (or any other social pet) trouble happens. The behavior modification techniques used to train dogs can also be used on kids.
I suggest you do take a break. You can always go back to school.
You are learning a lot from your situation (on-the-job-training) through practical life experience, that will be much more beneficial to you than "book learning theory" anyway.
It doesn't help to compare yourself with others, you are YOU, and your situations is YOUR situation. You need to do what is best for YOU.
If you decide to work with animals, you don't need a degree to do that anyway - although it would help to find a good animal behaviorist and apprentice under them a while and read lots of books, by different authors, and perspectives on the subject.
Good luck.
Girl, you need to pick
Girl, you need to pick yourself up. Just reading what you wrote I could feel the depression and disappointment. School is not the place for you right now. That's okay. You are not a failure just because you failed a semester. Yes, that is a failure, and there is no sugar-coating that. One failure though does not make YOU a failure. Take it in stride. The next step is to make a change and do what's best for you, because what you're doing now is not working.
I agree with your therapist. Take time off school. Get a job. Make some of YOUR OWN money--it makes such a difference in your own sense of self when you can come home with a paycheck that you worked for. You will definitely get people who will say that you wasted time and money, that you're giving up. You need to be strong enough to not let that get to you. This is your life. Sometimes we grow and change our minds. They don't have to live with your decisions, but you do.
i see what u all are saying,
i see what u all are saying, and i thank you for the support
i am going to take some time to re-evaluate my life and try to find out what works best for me. and try my hardest to not let outside negative influences get in my way of dealing with MY life. i know there are going to be people who will be disappointed in me in my decisions, but ur right, I alone have to live with my decisions, and they have no right to say anything, because i really dont have many people in my life who support me.
i am going to set this aside tho for the holidays. january 1st i am going to hunker down and make up a new life plan. but for right now, i am going to sign off and head up to bd's kindergarten class for her christmas party and book exchange
<3
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with being a SAH mum for a while. You are running a 'business' and multitasking... seriously, think of getting kids off to school, taking phone calls, running a household. All the things you remember to do every single morning...I doubt even Donald Trump could manage that!
The thing is there is no 'value' in it. No one pays you more. No one respects the effort. It is just expected of you. No degree, no financial gain. Just the altruistic 'joy' of not allowing anyone to fall under the bus or starve.
If I were you I would listen to your therapist. This isn't a break forever. Just for a few months until you get back in 'the game'. With your present frame of mind it is unlikely you will do your best at school anyway. I would re-examine your state of mind in 3 months time. Forget about school. Chase a dream. And find your groove again.
I know this sounds like I am siding with the therapist but your post made me incredibly sad just reading it. I can hear the exhaustion in your post. You need time out for yourself.