Nah...I like that he can respond when it's kid related at appropriate times and ignore at other times. I think texting is the best thing in the world for ex's. Prefer it to a call any day!
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. . .just say NO to blended families; IOW never ever get involved with a man who has a previously enjoyed family
Once you get to a certain age...that is nearly impossible! Never get involved with someone that previously had a family is great advice for the early 20's crowd...but hard for us hovering at 40 or older!
When I hear "get involved" I assume it's more than just sex. Even if they aren't in your house...they are going to have that baggage. So unless it's just sex, you are probably going to have to deal with it in some fashion.
And hey...I have nothing against relationships that are purely physical! But for those of us that want more...and are 40-ish+...we are likely going to be having that relationship..whatever it looks like...with someone that has previously created a family unit.
Yep. I've been looking at Match and Matchmaker all day long and the men that I'm attracted to, all have kids. The ones that I'm not attratced to, don't have kids.
I got an email from a guy from Match. He's good looking and meets my criteria in all other aspects. Except....damnit....he is divorced with 2 kids.
BUT, his profile said he wants at least 2 more kids, so it's all good. Well, he emailed me and asked me some questions. I wasn't going to respond at all because he HAS KIDS. But this thread prompted me to respond. I flat out asked him how much communication he and his exW have, explaining that I once dated a man with 2 great kids, but the constant communication between he and his Ex drove a wedge between us and I'm not about to go through that again. I also acknowledged my understanding of the importance of co-parenting and communicating, but being excessive is a big fat NO in my book.
Awaiting response. Who thinks he will even bother to reply??
I have joint custody! Me and my x do not get along at all! nor do we speak to each other... we only text if it's a must all other communication is sent in letters in the kids book bags!
Well, dude ended up telling me his full name for whatever dumb reason. I found him on FB and saw that he had his 2 kids listed as his children. I clicked on on of their names and saw who they had listed as their mother. I clicked on her name and checked out her pics. Nooo thanks. She looks like one of the Real Housewives, dressed like a 21 yo, bleached blonde hair, spray on tan, pictures of her partying. and according to her prodile, she is 35. No thanx. Maybe she is a nice person, but I don't care to find out.
Still looking for a man w/o kids in my age group that has some of the qualities I need in a partner. I found one guy that meets 3/5 of my requirements and has NO KIDS. I may bend a little on those 2 requirements and meet him
What you should do to find out what he's really like is employ reverse psychology.
"I really think a good father should accept the fact that his poor children who have suffered traumatically through the break up will often need to get into bed with him."
"A good father will help his child get to sleep by going into his child's room and comfort him even if it means falling asleep with him"
See what his responses are. If you want I can post "the list" and use these cleverly to your advantage.
oh shyt, I have "the" list practically memorized, my Dear. I have always wanted to ask u - where did this list come from? Is it from a book or did u make the list yourself
I compiled the non-scientific, non-double blind study from the patterns of behaviour I saw over the past eight years or so. Most notably the years between 2003-2009 when the skids were over at my house EVERY weekend. I thought I was going crazy because I KNEW how to properly raise children (i have two independent grown bios myself) and I KNEW that THIS was NOT IT!!!
When I discovered this site almost six years ago (in February 2006) I found all the posts EXTRAORDINARILY similar to what I was experiencing, so I decided to compile classic "guilty daddy" "PASinator BM" and "entitled skid" behaviour traits to serve as a warning to others.
My mission and goal in life is to see that not one more woman EVER steps into StepHell.
When I met my DH I was happy that he had a girl rather than a son so we could bond over Hello Kitty, doing our nails,etc. My ex even said "have fun with your new family." I realize now that a son may have been so much easier. Counselor even told me that SD is trying to get rid of me so she can be the new "wife" and raise my bios. Sick. Sick. Sick. She also said our goal in the next year is for me to be able to look SD in the eye. No thanks.
OOORR.. Not getting married
OOORR.. Not getting married to a man with kids. }:)
Divorce?
Divorce?
Nah...I like that he can
Nah...I like that he can respond when it's kid related at appropriate times and ignore at other times. I think texting is the best thing in the world for ex's. Prefer it to a call any day!
That's if the hubby actually
That's if the hubby actually consults you. If he did I would agree with you.
An ounce of prevention is
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. . .just say NO to blended families; IOW never ever get involved with a man who has a previously enjoyed family
Once you get to a certain
Once you get to a certain age...that is nearly impossible! Never get involved with someone that previously had a family is great advice for the early 20's crowd...but hard for us hovering at 40 or older!
Hell I"m 51 and I'd just as
Hell I"m 51 and I'd just as soon date a GAY guy or live with my cat than get involved with another "GG."
As Katherine Hepburn said: "A man in my life NOT in my house!!"
When I hear "get involved" I
When I hear "get involved" I assume it's more than just sex. Even if they aren't in your house...they are going to have that baggage. So unless it's just sex, you are probably going to have to deal with it in some fashion.
And hey...I have nothing against relationships that are purely physical! But for those of us that want more...and are 40-ish+...we are likely going to be having that relationship..whatever it looks like...with someone that has previously created a family unit.
Defining "get involved
Defining "get involved with:"
Don't smile at them
Don't wink at them
Don't ever give them any reason that you'll give them the time of day.
Why didn't I listen to
Why didn't I listen to Katherine Hepburn????
I agree. Unless we start
I agree.
Unless we start dating the Romper Rooom crowd, finding a man without kids at our age is next to impossible.
Not all men will kids are as bad as the men many her post about.
Yep. I've been looking at
Yep. I've been looking at Match and Matchmaker all day long and the men that I'm attracted to, all have kids. The ones that I'm not attratced to, don't have kids.
And by attraction, I'm not talkin just looks.
What about employeed??? An
What about employeed???
An unemployeed man is a huge NO CAN Do for me.
Find a nice gay man who likes
Find a nice gay man who likes to wine and dine and "pinch hit" is my recommendation.
LMAO @ myself!! I got an
LMAO @ myself!!
I got an email from a guy from Match. He's good looking and meets my criteria in all other aspects. Except....damnit....he is divorced with 2 kids.
BUT, his profile said he wants at least 2 more kids, so it's all good. Well, he emailed me and asked me some questions. I wasn't going to respond at all because he HAS KIDS. But this thread prompted me to respond. I flat out asked him how much communication he and his exW have, explaining that I once dated a man with 2 great kids, but the constant communication between he and his Ex drove a wedge between us and I'm not about to go through that again. I also acknowledged my understanding of the importance of co-parenting and communicating, but being excessive is a big fat NO in my book.
Awaiting response. Who thinks he will even bother to reply??
Yes, I will post updates!!!
Yes, I will post updates!!!
I can't believe I was bold enough to ask.
He responded!!! He said: I
He responded!!!
He said:
I have joint custody! Me and my x do not get along at all! nor do we speak to each other... we only text if it's a must all other communication is sent in letters in the kids book bags!
Still sounds volatile. I
Still sounds volatile. I wouldn't touch it wearing a hazmat suit.
Well, dude ended up telling
Well, dude ended up telling me his full name for whatever dumb reason. I found him on FB and saw that he had his 2 kids listed as his children. I clicked on on of their names and saw who they had listed as their mother. I clicked on her name and checked out her pics. Nooo thanks. She looks like one of the Real Housewives, dressed like a 21 yo, bleached blonde hair, spray on tan, pictures of her partying. and according to her prodile, she is 35. No thanx. Maybe she is a nice person, but I don't care to find out.
Still looking for a man w/o kids in my age group that has some of the qualities I need in a partner. I found one guy that meets 3/5 of my requirements and has NO KIDS. I may bend a little on those 2 requirements and meet him
He'll lie and tell you
He'll lie and tell you whatever it is you WANT to hear.
Example:
"I don't want a man who is in constant communication with the BM"
Him: "Don't worry about that; the BM is hardly in the picture"
Just like GG told me that he is "strict" with kids. What he left out is the "other people's"
"I am strict with OTHER people's kids"
(No subject)
I know no gay man who pinch
I know no gay man who pinch hits, although that would be nice because they would make good partners. The thought of it would make them gag. LOL
My advice is to move in with your closest gay male friend and get yourself a good vibrator.
I had a former colleague who
I had a former colleague who was gay offer to "run away with him to Miami." I should have taken him up on the offer.
A Silver Bullet?
A Silver Bullet?
What you should do to find
What you should do to find out what he's really like is employ reverse psychology.
"I really think a good father should accept the fact that his poor children who have suffered traumatically through the break up will often need to get into bed with him."
"A good father will help his child get to sleep by going into his child's room and comfort him even if it means falling asleep with him"
See what his responses are. If you want I can post "the list" and use these cleverly to your advantage.
oh shyt, I have "the" list
oh shyt, I have "the" list practically memorized, my Dear. I have always wanted to ask u - where did this list come from? Is it from a book or did u make the list yourself
I compiled the
I compiled the non-scientific, non-double blind study from the patterns of behaviour I saw over the past eight years or so. Most notably the years between 2003-2009 when the skids were over at my house EVERY weekend. I thought I was going crazy because I KNEW how to properly raise children (i have two independent grown bios myself) and I KNEW that THIS was NOT IT!!!
When I discovered this site almost six years ago (in February 2006) I found all the posts EXTRAORDINARILY similar to what I was experiencing, so I decided to compile classic "guilty daddy" "PASinator BM" and "entitled skid" behaviour traits to serve as a warning to others.
My mission and goal in life is to see that not one more woman EVER steps into StepHell.
Ooooo I am only new to this
Ooooo I am only new to this site and the whole step parenting thing, is "the" list on a forum on here?? would love to have a read!!!
I second that! It'll be like
I second that! It'll be like taking a Cosmo quiz... "How f'ed up is YOUR SO?"
When I met my DH I was happy
When I met my DH I was happy that he had a girl rather than a son so we could bond over Hello Kitty, doing our nails,etc. My ex even said "have fun with your new family." I realize now that a son may have been so much easier. Counselor even told me that SD is trying to get rid of me so she can be the new "wife" and raise my bios. Sick. Sick. Sick. She also said our goal in the next year is for me to be able to look SD in the eye. No thanks.