"I don't ASK you to do anything"..............really!!
DH and I have been butting heads a bit latley. He is currently off work due to injurys and I have been a little bit bothered by the fact I work F.T. and do all the "extras" most moms (some dads) do after work. Cook, clean, kids activities, up in the morning for school, etc......
I am not saying I am not compassionate; I know he is going through a lot. But the other day I was cleaning - you know, putting away laundry, bathrooms and I was not in the best mood doing it. DH asks whay my problem was and I sort of lost it!!
I told him I was just exhausted from all of it and sick of doing everything myself and asked him if he thought I had a magic laundry and cleaning fairy that came when we where sleeping?!?!?!?
His response........"you do all that on your own; I don't ask you to do anything!"
I was furious........who does DH think makes the house look nice and does all the extras?? Am I overreacting here??
NOT overreacting at all.
NOT overreacting at all. some people dont think about helping others or appreciate what others do to make their lives easier. his reaction to your mood clearly states that he feels guilty and has to put the blame elsewhere, so he makes it like he doesnt make u do anything.
Good Point; he knows I can't
Good Point; he knows I can't "let things go" it bugs me (that's just me though). I wish I could!!
YEP!
YEP!
Nope - I flip out once in
Nope - I flip out once in awhile too. He does things, but I wish he would do more. Especially when I am lugging laundry around and he is sitting in his chair watching the DVR. But, he is pretty good overall. But, one flipout from me makes my point and he is better. He just came home for lunch and emptied the dishwasher. So it does work....
LOL!! That is one of my worst
LOL!! That is one of my worst ones......lugging all those baskets up 2 flights of stairs!!
He gave me his credit card shortly after........so I KNOW he felt bad!! haha
Oh man, I could have written
Oh man, I could have written this! Well, my DH isn't laid off, but he helps with very little. I don't mind doing almost everything, since he works full time, I work part-time, but there are SOME things that I prefer help with-like emptying the trash (which he very rarely does). When I nag him about it over and over (which he forces me to do since he won't do it), he says "I never ask/tell you to do anything, why do you bug me about it?" Umm....how about because you don't HAVE to ask me to do the dishes, laundry, sweep, dust, clean bathrooms ETC., I just do it.
Laziness. It drives me crazy.
His response........"you do
His response........"you do all that on your own; I don't ask you to do anything!"
Now WHERE have I heard THAT one before??!!
OH yeah, GG!!!
Translation: if you're not helping then you're not a good wifey/SM; if you ARE helping, you won't get credit for it from ME!!
file under: damned if you do and damned if you don't
Time to step up the disengagement. Leave it for him to do until he "ASKS" you to do it. Then bring up your concerns that it will back fire on you if you DO!
thanks for all the comments!!
thanks for all the comments!!
Love this:
Translation: if you're not helping then you're not a good wifey/SM; if you ARE helping, you won't get credit for it from ME!!
My whole filing cabinet is
My whole filing cabinet is full of "damned if you do and damned if you don't's" I have a drawer for DH;one for BM; one for each skid x3; one for my ex hubby; ex in laws....my goodness the list is growing longer and longer :jawdrop:
My response stays the same "F'em all"