Is this BM inappropriate?
I have some questions about the appropriateness of my SD7 BM. We are in our 50s. My BF had this child with a much younger woman to make up for inadequate parenting with his first family. The BM left them 4 years ago and now has visits every other weekend. I am his first major relationship since then and they moved in with me 6 months ago. The BM was upset that now that SD7 has another female in her life, that BM would miss out on teaching SD7 the "facts of life". She has told this kid everything about puberty, sex, and childbirth to the point that SD7 is terrified of it all. What I find really odd though is that BM makes SD7 shower with her all the time. This kid is turning 8 in a few weeks and showers with her BM every time she's there. BM also shaves her legs and "privates", as SD7 says, while they shower together. Am I wrong in finding this disturbing? My BF went to get SD7 from her BM at their usual meeting place the other day and he said when they said their good byes, BM picked up SD7 and bounced up and down with her several times before putting her down. He was disturbed by it and said it almost looked sexual in nature. BM has a habit of walking around naked and allows SD7 to watch R rated movies with violence and sex as well. There's probably nothing we can do about any of this, but shouldn't he at least speak to BM and SD7 and tell them no more showering together (one can't go to the bathroom without the other as well). Or am I too uptight about it?
Yes she should be taking her
Yes she should be taking her own showers/baths. It's still weird, but mabey this is her only child, and she still sees her as a baby???? Even if so, it is wrong. Just tring to figure out why bm would think it is ok. Plus Its her own little sick way of felling close to her only daughter.??? just guessing....
BM is 27 and this is her only
BM is 27 and this is her only child so far other than her BF small son whom they see regularly. BM actually sees SD7 as her peer, confiding to her about very personal and private things, and complaining about fights with BF or work related issues. My BF says BM has always had boundary issues. Before I came along, BM used to take SD7 to rock concerts, since age 3 or 4, to hang with her and friends. I put an end to that. Bm is always giving the girl rub on tattooes as well, and she'd come home and say, "Mom gave me a tramp stamp!" We put an end to that as well. The woman has no sense!
Sounds like she in
Sounds like she in inappropriate in more way then one. Firstly her daughter should not still be seeing her naked, let alone SHOWERING with her and shaving her privates in front of her!! Secondly she shouldn't be informing a 7 year old about sex and childbirth..she is still too young for that! And watching R rated movies with cursing and sex scenes? WRONG. I would consider these types of activites ABUSE!!!!!!
I would make a report
I would make a report anonymously. This is highly innappropriate. Your DH should put a stop to it.
Thank you all-I agree! I find
Thank you all-I agree! I find it all quite twisted. BF says he can't control what goes on in BM house, but I feel it needs to be addressed. Every time SD7 is with other children, she wants to shower with them. My own grandkids her age are not like that, and when they are together and she wants to shower, they put on swimsuits. I will try to get BF to talk to both of them to put an end to it. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't me being too uptight about it.
There are many schools of
There are many schools of thought about nudity among families and I am not going to judge if your child catches a glimpse of you pnce in a while....it shouldn't be treated as offensive. Our bodies are beautiful as good intended them to be but parading around is another idea all together. I think that the shaving, showering and sharing personal issues with a 7 year old is abuse. Way too many parents make the mistake of being "friends" with their kids instead of being someone they can look up to for help with their lives. My daughter is 16 and I still only share very little of my personal issues with her because she has enough of her own!
That is totally inapropriate,
That is totally inapropriate, id report it if I was you.
My oldest was 5yo when her
My oldest was 5yo when her brother was born and she was in the delivery room and held my foot along side my doula. So I don't think talking about human reproduction is wrong..anymore than talking about how the heart functions or how lungs work.I also showered and co-slept with my kids..even at the age of 7. I certainly don't see anything inherently wrong...different strokes.