Why in the HELL does DH kiss SD A**!!
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Princess SD14 lives w/ us.............(yeah!) Her attitude sucks; I know - I know - ALL teenagers do. I expect that - my BD12 is just like that - typicall. I mean she is such a nasty ignorant brat; has no idea how to even fake nice at home! She talks to DH like a piece of dirt - but DH is right there to kiss her butt! BD called him out on it last night!! Everyone notices; and I could see princess standing there w/ a big grin on her face.......like - Yep I know!!
I just want to flip!!
Flip....I did and now she is
Flip....I did and now she is gone. When I stopped taking her crap, it spiraled quickly out of control. Thankfully, the household is now at peace.
I started leaving the room when she started to suck the oxygen out of it. I am big on the family eating together every night, well she would dominate the conversation. BS16 and SS13 would leave the room. She kept talking about me, me, me. DH would listen. I finally started leaving and left him to talk and then he got stuck cleaning the kitchen. After a couple times of this, he started to see it. I did other things like this. But, mainly it was the walking away and leaving him behind, that he started to see how manipulative she was and how she had to be the focus all the time. She is gone now and not coming back. Stop playing into it. Encourage the other kids to walk away as well. Eventually he will see it and do something about it.
One story I have to share because it is so similar...DH and SD used to have a few shows they would watch together. I gave them lots of time alone because I was accused early on of her not spending quality time with Daddy. BM told DH this. So I did. Well she talked through the program. I could hear since I was in my office around the corner. DH had gotten up while she was talking and walked into the bathroom. I walked past and she was still talking to him through a closed door. She had followed him to the bathroom and he shut the door on her. She never stopped. He came out and I was in the kitchen and made a comment when he came in loud enough for her to hear. "Does she ever stop talking...She can't even stop to let you go to the bathroom. She heard and then went up stairs to her room for the evening.
Once you start pointing this stuff out, you can start to see that lightbulb moment for him. I had to get so disgusted by this child and completely disengage, for it to get better. When it became uncomfortable for her here, because she was no queen of the house, she wanted to live with BM.
Seriously with these girls that is the best scenario. The boys are so much easier...My SS is great and easy to deal with. DH never used to discipline him. Now since her leaving he has stepped up and deals with stuff. Never tells me when SS is punished. SS does. I do not get involved in that side of it. I don't deal with homework. I deal with the fun stuff. Much easier.
You need to make this girls life difficult....
I love this........I have
I love this........I have pointed things out; but get accused of being a mean B*.
I will try to seperate myself again; she is just so unenjoyable; maybe doing things with my other 3 when she acts like that will show DH. Even if we go in my room and watch TV - I think DH would catch on and I KNOW SD wouldn't come in there. I wonder what he would say if I just told him that SD attitude is just so unenjoyable that I would rather not be around her?
I will Deff try this! I think BD is starting to do the same thing; she follows me and talks to me (I LOVE IT) just to get away from SD!!
Thank YOU!!
and I love how SD only "talks" to dad........all her convesations start with DAD.............
Oh yeah. .. the "Dad, can we
Oh yeah. .. the "Dad, can we do this or that" or when talking to SM "Where's my Dad" or I love this one. . . when referring to his siblings, Prince Hygiene would say "my brother" or "my sister" instead of their actual names. This clearly shows that PH was brainwashed to think that GG, his actual biodad, has NO affiliation with "PH's family" or "PH's siblings."
GAWD I despise the brainwashing!!
I would clue your BD in on
I would clue your BD in on this if you think she can keep a secret...Tell her look, I am trying to point out to Daddy that she is making all of us miserable. When she is doing something you don't like, leave the room. I was open with my BS16 about my frustration with SD. He was as well and since we were so close, he picked up on my cues to leave the room long before I ever said anything.
Trust me leaving him alone with her a lot makes a huge difference in how fast he wises up.
I am still sad that it had to come to this, but honestly our lives are so much better since she has been gone...
(No subject)
Excellent advice. Physically
Excellent advice. Physically disengaging and leaving DH to suffer the constant mindless, self absorbed prattling of his crotch dropping.
I find that biodads "romanticize" living under the same roof as the BM and spawn. Typically an "intact" family does NOT skip around the house lighter than air at the orgasmic thought of living with their offspring day after day and all the struggle of life that go with it.
Therefore, they have this "vision" and the subsequent guilt, loss and feelings of failure for not living under the same roof so they try and "replicate that fantasy" by kissing their spawn's and the BM's netherquarters at the expense of his current family.
"Oh must do Princess' bidding or I shall LOSE her" is the guilty daddy mantra. Instead of assuming a healthy child/parent boundary, daddykins becomes his child's "bestest buddy" and said child becomes an evil, entitled, manipulative, spoiled, self-absorbed dictator over the entire household. Often daddykins let's his child become his "mini-spouse" as a sort of "BM do-over" by assigning him or her "adult spousal status." His child's wants and wishes overrules any of Stepmom's valid needs.
Auteur....You have hit the
Auteur....You have hit the nail on the head YET AGAIN GIRL!!!
"Oh must do Princess' bidding or I shall LOSE her" is the guilty daddy mantra. Instead of assuming a healthy child/parent boundary, daddykins becomes his child's "bestest buddy" and said child becomes an evil, entitled, manipulative, spoiled, self-absorbed dictator over the entire household. Often daddykins let's his child become his "mini-spouse" as a sort of "BM do-over" by assigning him or her "adult spousal status." His child's wants and wishes overrules any of Stepmom's valid needs.
UNFORTUNATELY...this is exactly what goes on in the single parent family....you assign usually the eldest, with the task of taking on adult type of jobs and roles....and innately I believe that the child takes them on as well...
I saw it with my eldest boy, I saw it in my DH's eldest...knowing all the family business at one stage...thinking he ran the house...still think he runs his father....I even see it in my sister and her kids...her eldest acts as protector and psydo father figure....head of the household...god help her when a man finally moves in....
Fathers,,,,,,get back to parenting these kids cos your best buddy/mate game causes your kids to become horrible once the job is taken away from them....
That is it!! She was the
That is it!! She was the first and then when her parents divorced (only married for 1 year!) it was pooooor princess; she was able to call all the shots her whole life - she always "picked" what she wanted to. (She would actually call around and see what house was doing the better thing!)
and her latest thing is - she is saying that she can't wear a certain brand of clothes; she can only wear Hollister and A & F. Well..........you better get a f* job then!! for one - your mother gave us 50 whole dollars for 2 months......OMG this girl!!
In my case, Brainiac was the
In my case, Brainiac was the oldest but he took everything quite well. He assumed "man of the family" role which infuriated GG. I think having an oldest GIRL is worse though. Girls are by default more sneaky, more manipulative.
If the Behemoth saw that the children weren't accepting her victimhood projection enough, she'd pour on the PAS.
You are soooooooo right!!
You are soooooooo right!! Lying, sneaky, all of it!! A few months ago I tried to plead w/ him about how SD was being with boys and all the lies and stealing; but it took him a slap in the face; then SD decided to be his princess again - HE IS EATING IT UP Meanwhile.......she is going to parties, started smoking and is getting high now!! I am just so done trying to make him be a parent.
Hell - I got her on the shot - my job is done!!
Thats nothing...when the
Thats nothing...when the bitch turned lesbian she moved next door in with the lesbian mother...so the DH kids would just go from one house to the other pleasing them selves and grabbing what ever they wanted....
They still txt their father asking what he is doing in a bid to 'hook on'
and thats not parenting...thats called getting up and leaving and your kids are roaming around between houses trying to survive...
My DH was told by the bitch that she knows wots best for kids cos shes a school teacher...besides CO says she has ultimate say...
Ide like to kick the bitch fair in the mouth with my big black pointy toe boots on....fn slag!
My DH does the same
My DH does the same thing...no matter what a little biotch his daughter is being and no matter how difficult she is to him he kisses her ass. Although the other night she came home from a friend's house at 7:30 p.m. said she was hunger and he told her to eat what we had cause there was plenty...spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread....she said she didn't like any of that and didn't like what her grandmother had made for dinner and she wanted to be taken to McDonald's. He actually didn't take her...I couldn't believe it. She just grabbed a cupcake and some candy and slammed out the door to go to her grandmother's...and that was a good night...lol
now this is wrong....imagine
now this is wrong....imagine if you had done that when you were this age....God help me if I had.....My life would not have been worth living.
That little bitch should respect you and your house which is also your cooking...or tell her she cannot return eva with that attitude....
Bugger what the father thinks...thats no father in my opionion if he lets his daughter get away with treating your home cooked meal like that.
sorry but youve hit a sore point with me