SS11 Runs Away...time to VENT!!!
History: SS11 has asperger's and ADHD. Very intelligent and smart student. Frequently dodges homework and passing in his homework to teacher. Already getting a D in Language Arts and Math. His BF has been working with him to bring home his assignment book and finished and unfinished homework.BF goes on line and prints out his homework assignments and compares it to his assignment book and then wants to see the finished homework. BF then signs off on the assignment book. One of SS11 problems, besides lying, is he is very unorganized. SS11 has been working on dodging this simple task BF has asked him to do for the last 3 days (we have 50/50 custody).
Today, I picked up SS11 at school and asked to see his assignment book and all the homework. He gave me a song and a dance about one of his assignments. I drove his sorry ass back to the school and walked with him to his locker. When he opened the locker...there was enough papers and shit ready to fall out of his locker. He's only been in school for 4 weeks! He finds the homework assignment and say's "see, here it is!"
I told him part of his problem is he's unorganized. We are bringing his school supplies home. He refused to carry anything. I said "good your'e gonna get grounded and it going to be a very boring weekend". I brought him back to our home. I had my BS20 watch the skids while I went to BF's office (5 min. away)to talk with him about SS11 and the frustration I was feeling.
When I came home, I asked BS20 where SS11 was? We searched the house and discovered he ran away. This is something SD12 would do and BM encouraged. The Judge told BM she is to bring SD12 back to the custodial parent immediately.
So now we are into round 2 with the next PAS child.
It is so frustrating and aggravating...I still have 3 more freak'in days til break time!!!
Well he's home now. BM is
Well he's home now. BM is blaming me for everything and told BF to come pick him up if he wants him back. The court order states for the parent they run to brings them back. Of course BM listen's to no one.
I'm so tired of this hamster wheel...
Awwww I'm so sorry...hang in
Awwww I'm so sorry...hang in there! Our BM would say if you want him, come and get him. Court order? I think she reads that as Court "suggestion". BM can say what she wants. It doesn't make it true. Ignore her. At least he's safe.
Thanks for your support
Thanks for your support Calgon. I'm so freak'in frustrated. BM had BF go over to her house to get him and insisted that the police be called. The officer came to her house and the SS started parrotting the same shit SD and BM said when she was alienating the SD. He tells the cops "I'm concerned about my safety in the house". Then BM says to SS "Maybe you should go with BF. All you have to do is shower and go to bed over there. And tomorrow you have an activity to go to that I can't take you to because SD has a game" In front of the cop he says "Okay, I'll go with BF" SS came to our house and played a board game with BF and SS10. I was watching a movie with my BD and her boyfriend.
BF was reminding BM of the time SS ran away from her house last year and I brought him back to her immediately. When I got him to her house, she greeted him by screaming at him. Her response was, "Well this time a step parent is getting involved where they should'nt and my son is being subjected to harsh treatment".
Just as my SS is leaving BM's house, her SO comes in the house and says "Your'e not allowing him to leave the house" to BM. So my hubby say's to BM "Your'e not allowing a "step parent" get involved are you?" :?
Like a kid that age is going
Like a kid that age is going to say "I'm concerned about my safety in the house". Those aren't a child's words! My SS13 also parrots BM. I get so sick of hearing everybody say they want what's good for the child (courts, BM, etc). Then DO something about it! These BMs are just concerned about their own issues at the expense of the children. What she SHOULD have said to SS is that he needs to go back to BF's, there is nothing to be afraid of, and encourage it. Anything else is PAS. Telling him he only has to shower and go to bed over there is PAS...very subtle. I do understand you're frustration. I'm sorry you're going through it!
We had a talk with ss and
We had a talk with ss and asked him why he felt he was in danger. He said because we yell at him and he is afraid he will get hit one day. We asked him when have you ever seen us hit anyone. The dog and football...REALLY???? this is what you base your story on? And he didn't even get the excuse by himself, he stole it from his younger brother!
As far as yelling? His mother talks louder just having conversation on the phone!
My husband told him that he sounds like his sister and mother,that was PAS with him. His younger brother said to us "just like the movie". (Welcome Back Pluto)
Remember when they used Alcatraz for prisoner's? Anyway we can fix it up, with all the money they blow on sensless shit (instead of their kids)from the child support. Then we can put all the premium whack job BM's who thrive on PAS there!
Okay I'm back now from the fantasy
I would buy her a first class
I would buy her a first class plane ticket there (one way of course)!! That's awesome that the brother referred back to the DVD!! The seed is planted! That's our main goal in all this counseling and stuff...to get SS to recognize PAS behaviors because I have no hope of BM changing. It's a battle, though.
It's funny, you talking about BM on the phone reminded me of something that happened last week. I think I might have posted it somewhere, but I don't remember. I was in a VERY cranky mood, and like a dummy, I went with DH to pick up SS. SS is a pretty good kid, but I get irritable about BM and, well, the trickle down theory, I resent him sometimes. Not proud of that, btw. So I have this rage building up inside me and I'm biting my tongue as I'm listening to SS ask DH if we can go shopping. In the middle of the conversation, I made a comment and SS commented back. Now mind you, nothing being said was earth shattering, I was just a bitch. But I held it in for the most part. I was sort of snotty when I made the comment. So I finally announced that I was REALLY cranky and I felt sorry for the next person who pissed me off. I said it in a nice way. Then I shut up for the most part. I got home and went right to my room. Later, after SS was gone, I apologized to DH for being such a bitch...he just looked at me confused. He didn't even notice!! He said SS probably didn't either. They're so used to BM rages, me being irritable didn't even spark the radar! Yeah, that was a long story for such a little ending! LOLf
Anyway, it sounds like things have calmed down there some. Until the next time...there is always a next time! Until then, I'm going to start decorating alcatraz!