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HELP! 9 year old ss very jealous and cocky and mother goes to bathroom and shower together

lost_stepdad's picture

I feel bad because he gets on my nerves. But I find it odd that she lets him go into the bathroom when she is in there either bathing or using the toilet. If she locks door he unlocks it. If I say dont go in there he doesnt listen to me and she gets mad and just says thats what he has always done. I want to yell at him and make it a point that it is not ok but she is ok with it. I am not. i feel it is inappropriate at that age to see you mother completely naked so often and I cant help it if it bothers me. Am i wrong?

Also he sings all the time. And it really gets on my nerves. I dont alway want to hear him singing in the car.

The other problem I have is thatevery single night he wants to watch a movie. but not alone. He throws a fit if his mom wont watch it with him. He also always whines if she doesnt sit and watch tv with hinm eat with him, etc. now I know spending time is important but we have chores to do too. And I feel like he needs to learn to be more independent and stop handcuffing his mother to his side. I am ready to leave. Please help.

briarmommy's picture

This bathroom thing would bother me to, it isn't healthy at that age, really I think it isn't healthy at any age with the opposite sex parent but at 9 there is a problem. Did your wife have a bad ex or very open childhood, I think there is an unhealthy bond between your wife and her son. Maybe she suffered some trama and is overexpressing her love and concern on her son. I don't know her but I would suggest that maybe family counciling would be in order, someone outside the home needs to tell her this is wrong in a nonjudgemental enviroment.

As for the singing I don't think there is much you can do, my SS sings to himself all the time in his room and even while he uses the bathroom. With much fighting I got it stopped in the car and the rest of the house but I still here him singing in the bathroom while he uses the toilet.

lost_stepdad's picture

The other part is he is very smart. Almost gifted and he thinks he sings great. Which is part of the cockiness. you cant tell him he is off key. He thinks every girl likes him in his class. I think he is obsessed with it to a point where I am uncomfortable. He is in 3rd grade. Talks too much about girls and when you ask him how he knows he jsut says "oh you can tell by the way they look at me" I dont like that.

briarmommy's picture

SS is 8 and does the girl thing as well, he is in third grade because in his hillbilly town they let you go into kindergarden early because there are no daycares. But its really creepy because if you listen to him for longer then 5min you realize that these girls that "like" him are actually terrified of him. He said he liked this girl and that she liked him so they would play tag at recess but then if you ask him to talk furthor you come to find out that she is actually just running away from him, not playing tag and that also he threatened to cut of anothers boys head that liked the girl to and whom the girl in guestion would actually play with.

giveitago's picture

Y'all do not live at the Bate's motel perchance? OMG, it's really unhealthy to have kids with such attitudes and I'd be putting the kid in therapy for his narcissistic tendencies!
Do not know what to tell the BM in these instances...

buttercookie's picture

If this was a man having a daughter watch him shower everyone would be in an uproar, I'm suprised there haven't been more responses. Your wife is sick and the relationship she has with her son is SICK, No child of the opposite sex that age should be involved in this type of activity, its bordering on sexual abuse. No not all sexual abuse has to be touching. Its also putting the Stepdad in sexual competition with her son and his stepson, if I knew who you were I'd turn her in in a heart beat, Wonder whats gonna happen when you ss gets older and lets it slip to his buddies he watches his mom wash herself, you'll have a ton of horny teens in on the show and your wife not wanting to upset her precious son she has a sick relationship with will probably let it go on until another kid tells his parents and you are all labeled perverts and possible sex offenders.

Doubletakex3's picture

I completely agree with Buttercookie. Sounds like emotional incest, at the very least. I'd seek professional assessment.

youngmama1b1g's picture

I would leave if i were you. Your gf is not ready for a new man to come into her life as she is using her son to fill the void.