I've never gotten on a forum to discuss being a stepparent, but tonight I feel at the bottom of my barrel and needed to vent. I hate feeling like I couldn't call my family because they would just take my side, and make my husband the bad guy. At the same time, I don't have any friends in this situation, so I didn't know where else to turn.

Background. Divorced and remarried. I have a 16 year old step daughter, 10 year old son, and 8 year old daughter. I've been remarried for 4 years, together for 5 1/2.

My husband does not back me in any way when it concerns his daughter. I have no authority over her. The few times I have tried to exert it, he took her side. It has been an ongoing problem, that is getting worse. On the other side, he disciplines my children (which they need) and I do not have a problem with it. Although lately when he does, I ask him "is this where I'm supposed to go off on you because you said something about my kids?" Just to prove a point.

So with said problems, I've actually started the Love Dare, and feel that everything I do isn't good enough. For example one thing said to do something nice for him, unexpected act of kindness (yesterday). Well I got up and made him a breakfast sandwich (something I used to do when I didn't work all the time) (he works nights). So he comes in and is all smiles and thanking me (score 1 for me), but then his daughter comes through the door and he asks me if I made her one? (ah, no?)...its not that I made one for myself, or for my kids...so then he gets this pained look on his face because I've done something wrong (-2 for me).

So yesterday he tells me that his daughter's bf is getting his license (today) and that he said he could take her home. Where we live, you have to have your license for 6 months before you can have another nonfamily member in the car with you. Well, they said it was ok because he was 17. Well, I checked the website and told them they were wrong. The teens still argued. So today (at work) I called the DMV...lady said, no doesn't matter what your age, you have to wait 6 months (bf is 17)...well when I get home and let my husband know this...he accuses me of going over his head about the situation.....WHAT???? I mean I'm trying to protect his daughter, but I'm the bad guy. Well, I lost it, and told him I was done...I was tired of it, and couldn't live with this constant animosity towards me.

Well, he kept apologizing/etc. And then tells well it doesn't matter, because said bf isn't going to take her home today, a girl is. So tonight at 7:30, they roll in (stepdaughter and bf)....of course I say I thought one of the girls were going to take you home...nope, said dad knew...well dad told me different. Then they asked if he could stay to do work...I told them no, I wasn't in the mood, had a bad day, sorry....maybe not the nicest thing to say, but I just couldn't deal with anything.....well 30 MINUTES later, he leaves. So I've stewed in my juices during that time.

Then I get a phone call from husband....very first thing that he says...."why were you crabby to them? what's your problem?" I told him, oh I don't think so and hung up. He called back and said he was just trying to find out what was going on. And said he had talked to them and they said it was 1 person if you were 17. And could I pull up the website when he got home. I told him no, that I was done, and he could deal with it.

I know I'm not handling this very well, but I am so hurt and bitter. Just needed to vent, sorry I took up so much of your time...thanks for listening. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it, or if anyone is the same boat, would love hearing from you.