Don't know what to do.....
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2 Weeks before school started we received custody of my 12 y/o stepdaughter. Everything was going great between all of the kids. Now my 12 y/o daughter is being a snot at school and her and her friends are making fun of my step daughter. I have grounded her and taken things away. I'm now threatening to make her drop studen council. Age 12 is such a hard age and with my stepdaughter being a new student at a small school....
Any ideas on how else to handle this???? 
Oh man, I have a 4 year old
Oh man, I have a 4 year old that bullies her 9 year old half sister. She just doesn't like her and the only thing I could think to do was make her eat by herself, go to bed by herself, she did everything seperate from the family to sort of get the point across that bullies are goig to live lonely lives. It worked sort of, she isn't outwardly mean but I can't force her to feel love for her sister and it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry.
Poor kid. Have you confronted
Poor kid. Have you confronted you daughter on her behavior toward stepdaughter? Teens commit suicide over things like this. I'd nip this now, if I were you. They don't have to be best friends, but they can't treat each other badly, either.
That is such a horrid age! I
That is such a horrid age!
I was a t-total-bitch at that age, and I'm so embarrassed by my behavior looking back.
A friend posted this the other day (maybe share it with your daughter):
One evening an old man told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old man simply replied, “The one you feed.”
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Also, have you asked your DD why she's being so hateful to the SD? If so, what did she say?
Thank you for your advice I
Thank you for your advice
I have confronted her. My dd said, "I can't help it the way she is." My dd is the popular girl that does all of the sports and is involved with everything. My sd isn't like that quite the opposite. I'm encouraging her to get involved with everything.
I guess today my sd was picking her nose and eating it (yes I know she's 12) my dd's friends saw it and pointed it out to my dd. All day long the dd's friends were yelling Boogers.
I told my daughter that she was becoming one of the snotty kids that we don't like. She said, "Well, I can't help it she was picking her nose." What do I say then?
They both are in the 7th grade. My dd has gone their since the 2nd grade. Its a very small school. Only 28 7th graders total. Now my dd has been there a month.
So its so hard. I took the cell phone and laptop from the dd, but I can't make her change her attitude. I told her that if it continues I will make her drop studen council. I just don't know what to do....
At home they get along fine. Its when they are around other kids...
EW! See, that's something I
EW! See, that's something I would have done (picked on someone eating boogers in SEVENTH grad, FFS).
Here's the thing then, sounds like SD is just a weird kid. Could a makeover help her or anything? OMG. I dunno what to tell you. I would just make sure DD knew that it wasn't acceptable to make fun of anyone no matter how weird they are.
UGH.
Tough situation.
SOme kids do need to be
SOme kids do need to be teased a little it helps them to stop doing awkward stuff and learn to act better in social settings. Taalk your daughter into stepping up and standing up to her friends, I haven't entered the tween years I'm sure it's easier said then done.
Are you kidding? Oh my...
Are you kidding? Oh my... :sick:
SD is at a very awkward
SD is at a very awkward stage, she has acne and gets made fun of. She is going to begin counseling here in just a few weeks.
I have told my dd to stand up and tell her friends to knock it off b/c its her sister. She said she did today, but her friends wouldn't quit. So I told them to walk away from them. I know that she can't stop kids from saying stuff, but still set an example. My heart is breaking here....
One the one hand, yes SD
One the one hand, yes SD sounds like she is socially awkward. So she needs some social feedback to correct some things.
One the other, you don't want DD being the horrible queen bee bully eventually. Maybe DD should just remain neutral. This is a tough one.
You can't make her change her
You can't make her change her attitude? Oh my. Let me tell you...you take EVERYTHING away. No friends, no student council, no phone, no TV, no movies, no NOTHING until she stops. From school she goes straight home, eats and goes to her room to study. Period. I can assure you that she WILL change. I am sorry, but I have NO TOLERANCE for bullies or for parents who say that "they can't make their kids change". By the way, your daughter has been this way for a LONG time...she didn't jsut start this with your SD...she was in the popular group and has done it many, many, many times before to other students and because the other kid was not in your home, or even you weren't informed, you "assumed" she was popular but "would never do that." She's 12, you better find something to do and quick. I don't care how socially awkward your SD, no 12yr old girl deserves this.